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Peaces Of Me++++
++++ The miles just keep rollin as the people leave there way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go |
March 30/03 While I was sleeping... I fell asleep at 8 last night! April stayed overnight at Erin's. Stacy went out with Donovan and two of his city friends to the Tilted Kilt in Whitby. They went their separate ways after Tracy drove Sullivan and two friends to the food court. I was happy to see them both make arrangements separate from each other, he has been her shadow lately. I believe it is good to go your separate ways from time to time. She also drove Brent , Jodi and Richard to the go-carts which saved me the trip, thank you very much Stacy ! She then had Amy stay here overnight. I was a wake to hear Brent stumble home at 5am. James and I went to the Keg's, I had only 2 beers there, but on an empty stomach so when Marita came grocery shopping with us I was in fine form. I ended up talking to a guy I barely know about how many lesbians there are in the adult baseball leagues, a subject I know so much about but im my defense, he started it! He wanted to caution me that the older my girls were in baseball, the more they would be exposed to the deviant lesbians! Wow... someone has a phobia! We bought spareribs for supper but there was so much fat on them. Stacy and Sullivan snuck out for something to eat earlier, I guess supper took too long! I talked to Steve at No Frills today, I teased him that I would blab about his short haircut but he said that Stacy had already seen it. When he reminded me that we were like his parents I got my back up because usually that means he is going to tell me something that puts Sullivan down. He says that he had no relationship with his parents right now. Then he brought up that he was having a problem with Stacy, that she was still angry with him. I said that he would have to talk to Stacy. He said that there was still the issue of a stolen bottle of Vodka and there has been doubt with the The Doobie Brothers's and Steve's honesty. The Vodka was stolen and when Sullivan suggested taht everyone have theri back packs checked, it was discovered in Sullivan's back pack. Suspicion ws put on Steve that he planted it on Sullivan to make him look bad in Stacy's and everyone else's eyes. To tell you the truth, I don't get a damn about the bottle of vodka anymore, I wish I could go back and buy a new bottle and let it go but it is not going away. The point is the only one who had something to gain at the party by putting the bottle in Sullivan’s bag was Steve and Sullivan. Steve at the party told me what Stacy meant to him and at the same time, anyone could see Sullivan looking at Stacy. To me Steve's talk about Sullivan makes a good case that he did put the bottle in Sullivan's bag. I notice that every time that Steve starts a conversation with "You guys are like Parents to me" is when he is about to complain about someone else. I am tired of it. Stacy had Sullivan here for the day, her leg was pretty sore and she looked quiet at suppertime. I found out later when I asked what was wrong, that Sullivan's old girlfriend came to town after Stacy dropped them off at the food court, hung out with them and slept at his house. She hung out with him another night this week too. Stacy is right to be upset right now, because people know about all the trouble between Steve and Sullivan, so she has been alienated from Brent and his friends whom she hung out with a lot. She has not been hanging out with Jessie's large group of friends with whom she hung out with for years which also includes one of her best friends because she is going out with Jessie's best friend. She is isolated to only Sullivan and a couple of girlfriends. She confronted him about it right away,she is surprising me, He said it wasn't planned that she be in here, and he let her stay over because it was late and had made it clear there was nothing in it. April and Monica had Jeff, Scott, and Jake over and quickly messed up the basement. We made them clean up so the girls found reason to fight about it. Nadia had some drinks with us, she prefers vodka and cranberry, but the drinking made her kind of mean when she saw Stacy and complained about her not taking car of her video tapes. Brent went out with the boys to Tilted Kilt and came back with a free beer glass and some buddies down stairs and borrowed some beer from me. He took down all the little booze bottles that the Kegs gave him for his birthday too. Annie at 3/31/2003 11:44:00 a.m. Before I left for the Volleyball tourney I woke up everyone and asked what they were doing. Stacy said that she was going to do homework all day. I don't want her to do homework all the time, I want her to relax and have fun on the weekend. I hope she will but with me not there she will hide behind her books. I do admire her dedication to school but she needs to relax too. Monica's volleyball team is the youngest and the only b group in the tier 1 division. Apparently every coach was talking about our team. They split decision on teams that were ranked high and even when they lost it was so close like 28 - 26 against a top ranked team. The team in the afternoon seemed to give up and so did the coach, he started subbing and played everyone evenly. Our best player, Amanda, wasn't having a good game at all and he even bench her. Monica played very well all tourney and even played a game with the hiccups! Derrick came over and made supper for Nadia. I hope all the boyfriends are good cooks- someone has to be! Talked with Monica about Cory and James showed her his concerns about how close her and Cory are. Monica stood up to him and told him that yes they kiss and hug, that it took 3 months for her to hug him and a very long time to kiss him but they don't 'French' because that is just too gross! It won't be long for that feeling to pass! April tried to make a tape for Jodi's party but the sound wouldn't record and she was so upset that Brent wouldn't help that Nadia tried. She went without it. Steve was over with Brandon Alexio to get Brent and Steve got his ears lowered! It is really short, he had made a bet with Stacy that he couldn't wait until April 3 to get his hair cut. It was so long and scruffy he couldn't handle a couple of more days! Annie at 3/30/2003 12:43:00 a.m. James and I were to have to whole morning to ourselves but Brent wouldn't get up for school AGAIN. He is ruining our sex life! James and I went to lunch at Hunters Horn, ordered Jalapeno Poppers and they came with human hair all over them. Even when we complained the manager was finding more! Gross. He couldn't understand where they would have come from because the cook is bald! He gave us free drinks and 2 free appetizers. I had a shower just before we left for the Baseball dance and I locked the bedroom door for privacy. James was pounding so much on the door to get in but I held my ground, he could wait. My plan to lock him out was thwarted by someone swiping my conditioner. Soaking wet I jumped out of the shower, wrapped myself in a towel and passed him in the hall with him complaining. He complained so much that on my way to the kid's bathroom that I teased him with, "Then why don't shower with me, baby?" Yeah with all that going on I guess we were loud, Amy heard from down in the family room and she freaked that parents actually might get frisky. So I told her to shut up and stop listening. How do they think we stayed together so long anyway? Apparently we are the only parents that still "do it"- so says Nadia's, Brent's and Stacy's friends. It is nice to know that we are their topic of discussion! People are trying to persuade James into coaching Nadia in rep. There were many parents there all high on their daughters getting baseball scholarships; it is so weird that my daughter ran away from the thought of it. We sat with Joe and Shelley, I think those 2 boys really miss each other, they were great coaches together. Stacy went to Yuk Yuks, with about 6 people, she said it wasn't as entertaining as the last time. Annie at 3/28/2003 04:20:00 p.m.
Brent got up somewhat early and disappeared with Josh. There was no reason for this cloack and dagger routine, I guess it is just the age but later I found out it was to get car speakers for Josh. Brent has a knack of talking his friends into buying almost anything whether they need it or not. He can't afford it himself, so he acquires things through his freinds. I think he just plan likes to be able to buy some new technology. Josh will not tell his parents until he gets a car. April ran so hard in Lacrosse and so long, that she started to cry but she never gave up and that is a huge leap for her. I am so proud of what she is trying to do. Amy stayed with her as she struggled which is so nice of her. She is playing around with the ball a lot, and really seems to like it. Jodi and Amy came over to do homework with Stacy and they stopped off at McDonalds first. Stacy was supposed to come with them but they left without her for some reason and she was miffed at them. We bought her a chicken on a bun and Swiss Chalet for a surprise and so when the girls brought her a McDonalds bag she told them she had already eaten. She peeked in the bag and was pleasantly surprised to find a new Jean jacket from Amy. AWWW. Nadia went out with the girls to Liquid where she sweet talked her way into the bar without id and then after they went to Durham College Pub night. Natasha got her hair done, it is short and looks so nice on her. After work Brent went out with Josh and Kevin. I haven't seen Kevin in ages but people say he has matured a lot...lets hope so. I don't want him to bring my maturity level down again and have to show him the finger! Annie at 3/28/2003 04:08:00 a.m. James cancelled on his venture for the new company, he will no longer be representing them. They think that the guy is not being honest in who is working for that company. They said they won't representing them if a certain undesirable person was working there and they have heard that he is. Stacy needs her knee scoped. Sullivan came to be with her at the specialists, and then we had dinner at Don Cherry's. He told us about his brother, who is close in age to him. They fought alot as teenagers and now he has been charged with assault and theft. He said he is very good at manipulating, always blaming others for his problems. Sullivan has been very candid about his family life. It sounds to me that it was a very volatile atmosphere where even the dad wanted out of. His brother is on the run from the police, was always in trouble with society in general and the last time he saw his brother he had to threaten him to behave. His mother sounds like mine, always in charge and a dictator. He didn't have to tell us, that was very honest of him. His straightforward talk is endearing him to me. Nadia had an article written about her in her school paper about her internship at the NHL. It is funny how they quote things what you think of as important and what they write might be 2 different things. James and I were both disappointed and even as Gramma said, it really doesn't sound like her. She talks...well...she uses high falloutin language, always has and this writer made it so simplistic that it changed a lot of what Nadia was trying to say. I took Brent to Mario's today, asked where Chantel was and Mario said that she had a brain aneurysm yesterday and an operation but they were doubtful that she was going to make it. That is so sad. She has 2 kids, 1 wheelchair bound, but there is no dad since she is a Lesbian and no family close by. Sometimes life is so unfair. Brent was saying that James and I are one of the few parents of his friends that are still together. Annie at 3/27/2003 03:53:00 a.m. Caesar took me out running full force with Zack right at the knees. My back and my knee are so sore. Monica's toe is sore, it started to hurt in volleyball last night so we soaked it in hot salted water. Monica got in trouble at school today. She fell into the Steven A trap. Her first mistake was even taking to him, he called her a bitch and she hit him, apparently the same way that she had just hit one of the twins, they were all being rough. It is no excuse, it was just rough play and he was part of it, she did hit him. He shook it off, taunted them by stealing their ball and then ran off. He ran home and told his mommy and she phoned the school. His mom told me that she was pulling him out of school. I wish she had of. They are all saying that she didn't hit him hard, but she knows enough to stay away from him. His mother hasn't taught him anything, she should keep out of his battles because he won't know how to handle himself when he gets to High School if mommy always has to protect him. The principal phoned me and told me the story, said that it didn't matter than it was after shcool hours she had the right to disipline them. Steven and Monica were made to apologize to each other but Monica was full of attitude, fed up that he brought something so trival to the Principal. The Principal reminded her that she is the brightest and the best of the school so she has to always be a leader like she normally does. She went back after lunch and apologized for her attutude. I didnt' tell her to but she was surprised when she found out that the Principal had phoned home. Nadia and Derrick came to Japan Camera with me and we made a copy of the dinner collage for Durham and then took it to Copy Zone where the guy told me how professional it looks. Nadia said that one of her teachers from first year, talks about me and asked if I were married. Nadia laughed to me that he should remember that he is married too. Gramma came home from Florida today, Toni and Steven were there when we visited and we call forwarded our calls because our kids weren't home. Monica and April both didn't come home until 7:30 and took so long that we ate their supper. April was defending Chelsea about not coming to her party because Erin doesn't want her. It is a combined birthday party for Erin and April so they must agree on who is invited adn Chelsea is not to come. She is not coming, not invited by us and is trying to talk April into letting her come...no. I had to remind April of bailing on April after she was complaining that Chelsea is ditching her the night before her party, for a movie. She has also enticed Tara and Carling away from the party. April doesn't realize that she is at it again. Annie at 3/26/2003 04:46:00 a.m. Grammie offered me $1000.00 if I could tell her 10 good reasons why I should. Then she said I just needed to tell her what I would do with the money. Too bad I don't trust her and I doubt that I will get the money. I went to the Pickering Centre with Stacy to find a Prom dress; she is having a hard time finding the small size. We found a couple and I thought that it would be better if she picked the best one with her friends so she phoned Amy and Sullivan and they came with one of Sullivan's friends. We went to Mark and Carrie's for a couple of drinks of wine. Brent came over with Adam to try and fix their computer. Told Mark and I asked what he got from mom for his birthday and he pointed at a box of chocolates so she is playing head games again. I don't quite understand but Brent and his friends are basically blackmailing Steve's stepfather to get back their possessions in the car. Steve's step dad is a big pothead and they are hinting that the cops might be interested in looking around his house. You know Steve should confronted his step dad and not brought his friends into it. Brent says that Steve doesn't stand up to them at all, just goes home and goes to his room. But he badmouths the parents to everyone else. Steve should grow a backbone. Even I got pulled into defending Steve at school, I fell for it too because he tells me that we are more like his parents than they are. From what Steve says his parents apparently don't like him, only like his sister. But by Steve bringing in the boys they are no longer welcome at Steve's house. I just know that Brent would not have used his buddies to deal with us, no matter how bad it was here, Brent would have been man enough to deal with it instead of bringing others into it to do his dirty work. Annie at 3/25/2003 12:19:00 a.m. It was a lazy day, the only time I went out was to go to a baseball meeting for Monica to meet the parents, and we had some wine and experienced a sound system that shook the house. Sullivan came over for the day, my girls love having him over, he fits well with everyone- except Brent. Chelsea came to visit April with Tara and they went out somewhere. April didn't even seem to care that she did. I think Chelsea is trying to worm her way back to April so that she will be invited to Jodi and April's birthday party UMMMM - NO. Steve's parents sold his car with Adam's amplifier in it and Brandon's CD's - Don’t even seem to care. Amy took April out in the evening and showed her some Lacrosse stuff. April felt oh so important having her big sister's friend take her out. Brent Adam and guys went over to Steve's house and tried to talk to Steve's step father but ended up even worse and Brent said something ignorant to him after he told them never to step foot on his property. Annie at 3/24/2003 04:11:00 a.m. Monica's soccer team won it all!!! They played a really good game and the only weakness is that the coach wasn't watching who he was putting on and he missed putting some of his good players on. One guy who hardly ever shows up got way to much playtime and he kept putting an exhausted Gemma on. We won by one in the last few seconds of the game! Afterward we went out with the Colleen and Holly to celebrate at Kelseys. And yes, there was tension. Nadia's dance tonight. April, Erin, Jodi, and Amy are volunteering to help for there community service hours. Stacy has all hers but she helped until 3 anyway. The tables looked so good, Nadia borrowed the silver star table clothes that Laura made for her wedding and they turned them upside down to the black side (Durham colours are black and green) and had little stars all over the black and green table clothes. The ice candles illuminated green and melted down as the evening progress into the fabric in potholders underneath. Nadia' s dance was beyond expectations; they made more money than any other team of Fundraisers. The silent action raised more than $800.00 and there was only about 10 items! The dinner raised about $200.00 and then they had to have had money made on the bar. The guy at the bar who volunteered his services got over $100.00 in tips so he did all right for not getting paid. One of Nadia teachers kept remarking that I must have been very young to have my kids, yeah right 28 is so young! He said that he would sell me his Bobby Orr print for the amount that I bid! I'll take him up on that! The food was incredible and everything went so smooth. I took 145 pictures and left to put them on a tape so they could view them later in the evening. Stacy was at home alone talking to Arnold or Yoda, maybe it was Sullivan, so I brought her back with me and we just missed Jodi Amy April and Erin. Brent and friends went looking for Steve's car, the parents have taken it away from the house. Steve said they have also taken the money he saved from No Frills, he had it in a joint account with them to prove that he is saving for University. Annie at 3/23/2003 04:07:00 a.m. Grammie came over for the afternoon and made her famous truffle. She was fairly good natured with the exception of saying that she wasn't letting my bank statements come to my house because she didn't want me spending it? Right. Nadia at the Rock Lacrosse, there was a hockey player who was interview by the network and after that he was so harassed by autograph seekers that he got up and left. Stacy is feeling bad about Jessie, says she misses him being close to her, that he was alone at lunch and she felt that she should have been with him. I told her that it is normal to feel that way, he was a part of her life for a long time. I asked about how she felt about Sullivan and she says she has strong feelings towards him, so I think she is feeling guilty about having these feelings. What can you do? Stacy went to Scarborough to look for a prom dress with Sullivan. They are going out to dinner at Jack Astors. April went to the teen dance with Marina and then had her sleep over. Monica had Cory and Cody over until pretty late, James gave them the boot around 12. Kind of late for 13 year olds. From what I have heard either Amy spent $200. of her work money for Brent's birthday or to Brent, on his birthday. Annie at 3/22/2003 04:01:00 a.m. I had a horrible nightmare last night about Monica being swept off a balcony by the wind. I woke up to James trying to calm me down. I don't remember ever being so upset about a dream and James said I was screaming. It was probably due to the Iraq war starting last night. Teacher interviews and I am so happy with April. Most teachers think that she has put a new effort into trying harder, has actually moved herself away from some kids to try and concentrate more. The English teacher loves to joke with her and appreciates her humor and her liveliness. He made a deal with her today, that if she didn't say another word for the whole class that he wouldn't assign any homework, and she managed to do it! Monica and April came home after school and Monica was spitting mad, couldn't get a word in. After she told me how life was going to be for her I blasted her for the way she treated April. She didn't want April to hang around her when her friends were there. April waited for her with the dog after school. It is not like this is a regular occurrence. Maybe another situation I might have agreed with Monica, but April hung out with Chase and April was very generous with her friends to Monica over the years. She even took her on sleepovers to Lauren's MANY times. Monica was making fun of her and yelling that she hates her, she should be embarrassed for herself. Stacy went to look for Prom dresses with the girls all afternoon and evening and had no luck. Most of them are still too big for her. She kerplunked herself into bed around 9 but asked me to get her phone for her, yes she has been sleeping with her phone these days! Her knee is really been bothering her as she was on it all day. I gave her some ib and I hope it feels better. Annie at 3/21/2003 04:22:00 a.m. The deadline for ticket sales for Nadia's semi formal was today and the cut off for profits was 35. Yesterday they were at something like 31. Today the final count was over 60, so they did it! It is the biggest venture that a Sports Administration group has ever done so her group has really taken on a lot. Josh said that yesterday the school came after him when I left and demanded to know who I was. Josh wasn't telling, just said that it was personal. They know I am the mother of April so they should be able to do something. I know I did the right thing. Nadia went out with Natasha tonight shopping. Caesar was very vocal did the wookie sounds, when he saw her. Monica went out after school to Cory's without supper again and didn't come back until she had volleyball. She was in her bra and shorts, and she was looking for a top when the basement door opened and she flew so fast into the laundry room because she thought it was Sullivan. He had Chinese food with us and Brent sat, actually talked to him when Brent came home from work and at the table THANK GOD. Annie at 3/20/2003 04:53:00 a.m. I talked with Hannah at Tim Horton's this morning. I basically said that yes there were guys interested in Stacy and there is always bad gossip about her when she doesn't have a boyfriend. I told her that Stacy was in the middle of two guys battling with words and stories were being spread about her that will or are hurting Jessie and Brent. I explained how Steve was involved with Stacy's and Jessie relationahip in the fall and that she had rejected Steve even then and that he was acting like he had something to prove.We all have to trust Stacy into doing the right thing. I suggested that if she did end up going out with Sullivan, it might be a good idea, that guys would actually leave her alone and because Sullivan lived out of town, she really wouldn't see him that much providing her with the space she seems to need. I made it clear that Stacy had not mentioned at all that she wanted to date Sullivan exclussively, that it looks like she is being backed into it but she has not accepted. Hannah said that Jessie hasn't been going anywhere and his friends are getting frustrated with him and maybe that's why they are mad at Stacy. I really feel for Jessie, he seems lost but he really didn't fight it this time when they broke up. Last time he was asking every chance he could. I tried to help Steve out of a jam and I hope that I didn't make it worse. I was at the Kegs's having a beer with Henry, when his lawyer phoned to say that he had to get in touch with Steve because the courts had mailed the summons to his home address and Steve didn't want that to happen. I phoned Brent and he said to try and talk to Steve in school. I went there and asked for Steve and they knew I wasn't Steve’s mother. They wouldn't help me at all and then I saw Josh and told him to tell Steve to call. Unfortunately his mom had already got Steve's mail and opened it. I can't believe that they would do that. Even when my kids were little and there was something addressed to them I would sit them on my lap and let them open it and then read it to them if they said it was all right. I don't understand, but Steve is in a lot of trouble and his parents have taken his car away even though he has paid for it. Monica wants to make Colleen a card and a gift for her birthday. I am glad I haven't told Monica what Colleen thinks of her but it makes me feel strange that I am even protecting Colleen because Monica thinks so much of her. Nadia's fundraising dance has had a set back The bar tender booking can't deliver, but if they change venues to the pub, they can have a bartender? Stacy studied all evening alone. Annie at 3/19/2003 04:49:00 a.m.
I talked with Hannah at Tim Horton's this morning. I basically said that yes there were guys interested in Stacy and there is always bad gossip about her when she doesn't have a boyfriend. We all have to trust Stacy into doing the right thing. She said that Jessie hasn't been going anywhere and his friends are getting frustrated with him and maybe that's why they are mad at Stacy. I really feel for Jessie, he seems lost but he really didn't fight it this time when they broke up. Last time he was asking every chance he could. I tried to help Steve out of a jam and I hope that I didn't make it worse. I was at the Kegs's having a beer with Henry, when his lawyer phoned to say that he had to get in touch with Steve because the courts had mailed the summons to his home address and Steve didn't want that to happen. I phoned Brent and he said to try and talk to Steve in school. I went there and asked for Steve and they knew I wasn't Steve’s mother. They wouldn't help me at all and then I saw Josh and told him to tell Steve to call. Unfortunately his mom had already got Steve's mail and opened it. I can't believe that they would do that. Even when my kids were little and there was something addressed to them I would sit them on my lap and let them open it and then read it to them if they said it was all right. I don't understand, but Steve is in a lot of trouble and his parents have taken his car away even though he has paid for it. Monica wants to make Colleen a card and a gift for her birthday. I am glad I haven't told Monica what Colleen thinks of her but it makes me feel strange that I am even protecting Colleen because Monica thinks so much of her. Nadia's fundraising dance has had a set back The bar tender booking can't deliver, but if they change venues to the pub, they can have a bartender? Stacy studied all evening alone. Annie at 3/19/2003 04:33:00 a.m. Stacy went to the doctor for her knee and she will no doubt have to have it scoped. She can't walk because it is so stiff and it is still painful to the touch. Chelsea is having a party and everyone is invited except Erin and April. No loss as far as I am concerned. I think she made a big mistake in not inviting Erin, she has now started something that should have been left alone. Apparently Steve is telling people that Stacy was flirting with Sullivan. She said that the only thing that she knowingly did was to try to knock him over when he was on his knees with his hands behind him. I asked her if she pushes around other guys and she said yes and she doesn't think anything of it. I asked her if she does the same to girls and she said she does. I asked her if it meant that she was flirting with the girls - no. Stacy has asked me to define flirting and I said that whatever Stacy does towards a guy would be considered flirting to some people. If another girl does it that is ok but if she does it she is in trouble. That is what flirting is when you are good looking. She said that Jodi was pushing around Sullivan last night and Amy was nose to nose with him and I said that it was something that if she did then she would be noticed. It is not fair but it is the truth. I was surprised at the insight that Jessie is showing in relation to what Stacy should be thinking about. Jessie asked Stacy about how I, as her mother, feel about what is happening right now. He based his question on what went on after the Jess C. breakup and Stacy trying to go out with Jessie right away, jumping into another relationship, which is what Stacy might be doing again. He also mentioned about the time span she insisted on, to make things look proper, when she decided to go out with Jessie after Sarah had been going out with him. Even when it was her good friends boyfriend, she made the decision to get started up something with a guy someone else was already involved with. Looking back now Stacy was upset that Sarah accused her of flirting with everyone, I guess that is a possibility, to consider in contrast to what I wrote just a couple of paragraphs ago, that as a mother is hard to admit. Stacy asked me to help her answer Jessie about it and I diverted the question, which is just another way I am teaching my daughter to get out of a situation that she has orchestrated. What a mess this is! Annie at 3/18/2003 04:14:00 a.m. My head was terribly congested, too painful to do anything this morning so I missed Monica's first soccer playoff to medicate myself. Monica's soccer, she had 3 games today and the last one she was on for 10 minutes with no breaks. Our neighbours came to watch one game they were so happy that Monica and April came over yesterday for ----'s birthday. Nadia spent a lot of time at Gramma's house doing stuff for her semi formal dance with Derrick like making candles. Wonder what other stuff she is doing or what else he is making? ;o) Actually she got the mold from her cousin from her wedding for Ice Candles. Gramma's is the perfect place to store them since there is no one there to use the freezer and it also gives them much needed alone time. Frozen Ice Candles sounds like a great cheap way to make centerpieces! Brent and Stacy have always been the closest brother and sister you could imagine and their relationship right now is in ruins. I thought they finally hugged and made up but after being out together tonight Brent was upset with her again, saying she didn't have to be a bitch to his friends. Stacy ignored Steve again. The other day they had a screaming fight and hopefully Brent will see what Stacy has been trying to tell him all along but I am not holding my breath. I guess when you have kids very close in age their friends get shared. I want so much for everything to be all right. Stacy is talking to Jessie, poor guy is heartbroken that she likes someone so soon. She is trying to assure him that she was trying to be honest with him in telling him what is going on and she is not going out with Sullivan yet. Sullivan came over today and helped Stacy with her homework. He read her Macbeth and then elaborated on the more difficult passages. Annie at 3/17/2003 04:20:00 a.m. Brent went to work this morning but came home in an hour because there shipment didn't come in. I am really sick but I didn't sleep last night because of the turmoil between Brent and Stacy. Stacy sent Brent a note to tell him how upset she was with him and he took exception to it, stormed into my room and it is the first time I have seen Stacy fight back, ever. She did an excellent job too, I just said nothing, she was amazing in her defense of Sullivan. Brent said he was going to punch Sullivan in the face,again. He said that Robin, who knew him the longest did not have anything good to say about him, told them stories. At that Stacy said, "so you are taking the word of someone that is after Steve, is going out with Adam, is seeing another guy and denying that Adam and her are going out, and who phones Brandon every day and talks to him for hours?" that seemed to hit home for Brent, he left us right after that. Later I went down for lunch and Brent said to tell Stacy that he is all right with Sullivan. Brent had phoned Sullivan and had a 45 minute phone call. Stacy came down and they hugged. It seems that Steve has been stirring the pot. Poor guy likes Stacy. Stacy is upset with him and has a letter for him too. She sent both to Jessie so that he can see exactly what is going on. Hope everything gets smoothed out and I do feel for Steve. He has always struck me as the peacekeeper but he had something at stake here. Whitesnake, and Scorpion concert tickets were given to Nadia by the NHL for six box seat tickets. These groups are bands from the 80's an era of music that I know nothing about. Brent was so into electricity as a child that we had to dismantle our stereo system for years so he wouldn't electrocute himself so the only music I ever heard back then was Sesame Street type music. I phoned so many people, tried to think of anyone who was approximately 10 younger than me because that would be there big music era but it was all to short notice. Finally Brent, Steve, Josh, John, and Sullivan decided to go and they had such a great time they enjoyed being in the box. They especially enjoyed watching a bunch of 30 something go crazy drinking and whatever. Derrick's sister Angela left yesterday to be dropped off at her girlfriends. When she didn't come home they realized that she never even went to her friends that some guy off the internet had picked her up. Her friends tried to find her for the parent sand they never got a hold of her. April made a birthday cake for -------- tonight and her and Monica were over there for the whole evening- I was asleep when they came home but I new they were somewhere safe. Stacy emailed me a copy of what Jodi and Sullivan were talking about on the internet. She wants everything in the open,- as far as I am concerned which is very mature of her. MSN Sullivan- hey you...i never got to ask you today, but as someone i consider close to me i would like to know what your opinion is, on the whole Stacy thing. i think of alot of the people who are saying things your opinion would really matter to me Jodi- i really appreciate that...thank you. hmm...my opinion of it all...if you like each other than you like each other. ive learnt my lesson and ive kicked myself a million times that if you let others keep you apart, then you are letting them win. but i also think that before you take it any farther with Stacy that you should force Brent to listen to both sides of the story...then hopefully he wont be so judgmental. Don't give him the option of walking out of a room...its too easy. even though what he is doing IS ridiculous, he is still Stacys older brother and your friend. he just needs to remember that Crystal was Nadias friend and he did the same thing. Sullivan- but i tried yesterday to talk to him and he pretended that everything was alright.- he put on a front like nothing was wrong, i am trying to talk to him i really am, i even invited him to this thing on monday, dinner and drinks at this brand new club near the ex, i am shelling out $50 a head just for him to come, and to give me a chance to talk to him Jodi- and not only him and Crystal, but Brent and i are good friends too. we hang out a lot when Stacys not there...but the difference with that is that i wouldnt try anything with Brent BECAUSE i am Stacys best friend... and things get too complicated when you mix friends and siblings. i understand you like eachother...completely, but just dont jump to anything right now... just give Brent some time to cool down and especially wait for me to talk to him. Brents a somewhat levelheaded guy, he prolly just feels like hes being used by you to get to his little sister. and i know that exact feeling and it took a LONG TIME for me to talk to that person(s) again... let alone build a relationship. Dont give his voice a price tag... you can prolly find a free place to talk to him, it doesnt matter where just as long as its the two of you. Sullivan- i know, but my sister offered me a vip invite and i thought this would be as good a place as any...to try and talk that is Jodi- what exactly are you planning on saying to him though?? Sullivan- i want your honest opinion, do you think what we are doing is right....or do you agree with steve and think only negative's can come from this. everything on my mind, i want to get everything in the air. i want hi mto know how i feel about Stacy...how i feel about what i have done to him...how shitty i feel about going behind his back and not consulting him earlier- EVERYTHING Jodi- im kind of half and half on the whole steve's negativity idea...know what i mean? it just seems like since this whole thing arose that theres been absolutely chaos and sooo much hatred...its kind of hard to believe that anything good can come of this. but, if you two really like eachother, then fate will work and everything will turn out fine. Jodi- thats the only downpoint to it all... do you see that part? i Dont want to be the reason that maybe you and Stacy Done get together or whatever, im just letting you know my honest opinion. Sullivan- well what do you think...not anyone else...do you hate me for what i am doing Jodi- no no no no, not at all! Sullivan- ok, do you thing Stacy is wrong in what she is doing Jodi- no.... whats wrong that shes doing?? Jodi- you alive? Sullivan- i don't know...i am just so tired of everyone thinking that i am doing this to hurt them...i am not DOING this to anyone Jodi- they think you are trying to hurt them? whos them and whos saying this? Sullivan- i am doing what i am doing because i have immense feelings for Stacy that i cannot control of turn off as steve would want me to do, i am doing this because she makes me happy and i think i do the same for her....- Brent, steve, brandon say i am doing this to hurt Brent Jodi- why would you WANT to do this to hurt Brent? it doesnt make sense. Sullivan- if i valued his friendship i wouldnt have done this, but it does matter and i am trying to rectify the situation. i don't know that is just what they are making it sound like Jodi- i think steve might be a little jealous too... cause he had a thing for Stacy and im sure he still does... but i do remember Brent saying that steve is the only one of his friends that he would EVER allow to go out with Stacy. Sullivan- yeah that's what he told me...and i agree with you completely he maybe mad because now that Stacy and Jessie are over for what looks for good, he sees his chance to move in...and he is upset because i got there before him, and he lost his chance Jodi- prolly buddy... but i know steve and Jessie are friends too and he wouldnt do anything if Jessie had a problem with it. Sullivan- yeah i know, but i guess lucky or unlucky for me i Don't have the opportunity of knowing jaime and feeling that way...- i'm sure he is a good guy and all but i am not doing this to hurt him Jodi- oh, of course not. he prolly knows that... its not like you can intentionally hurt someone you've never met or know very well. i think hes just really shocked and hurt that Stacy has already moved on after being together for over a year... know what i mean? Sullivan- yeah i do, i know exactly what you mean Jodi- its just going to take time for him tho. thats all. he'll eventually find someone else...its just a shock that the girlfriend hes had to himself for the long of a time has moved on. but i Dont think hes realized that they hadnt had a relationship for a really long time. Sullivan- true Jodi- but, i dont know exactly how Brent feels or anything cause i havent talked to him Sullivan- yeah neither do i he wont talk to me Jodi- hes a stubborn one... mr.grinch Sullivan- but anyways i am off to bed, thank you for being honest....it means alot....really it does, and i just want to thank you for everything you do for me Jodi- awwwww... its nothing. really... ive done nothing! Sullivan- you have though thank you...- good night sweetie Jodi- night hon Annie at 3/16/2003 04:53:00 a.m. James took Nadia to the hospital, she is having muscle spasms so she took the day off work and took Robaxicet. James got a new cast on his pathetic pinky, it is so much straighter. At physio they told Stacy that they doubt her knee was dislocated and they think it will have to be scoped. April wanted to come home with Erin's first thing this morning so James had to get her because I finally caught James's miserable cold. I knew it and it is a bad one. I was in bed all day but it hurts too much to sleep. Erin had never been on a subway so they went to the Eaton Center stood around for a few minutes and then Grammie wanted to go home again, wouldn't let them shop! They later went to a movie and played cards all evening. I told Monica that Stacy and Jessie broke up and she looked sad until I told her that it was over 3 weeks ago that they broke up. She looked at me hard and said that she guessed they weren't very close if she didn't even know when they broke up. She said that she never saw them together at all. Then Monica smiled and said, "Is Sullivan Brent's friend now or Stacy's?" Stacy went with Amy, Sullivan, and Jodi to YukYuk's late. Jodi had been out of town this week and in light of the rapid change of events between my daughter and Sullivan, I talked to Jodi when she phoned, to give her some warning on what was happening. I didn't want Jodi to be blindsided when she got back. I believe Jodi has feelings for Sullivan judging by the silence on the phone when I told her that it looked like they might get together. I think she needed that time away to come to grip with her feelings. She had originally told the girls that she would come home on a certain day but she stayed longer. I said that she might have to help straighten out the mess between Brent and the boys in regards to Sullivan so hopefully she can concentrate on that. This is the second time she has liked someone that has liked Stacy so it must hurt. Jodi did say that Sullivan is a better pick for Stacy because "Steve is boring and has no personality". I didn't expect that remark. Stacy drove Sullivan home too late, James doesn't want her to be driving him home. He sadi he is old enough and taken on the privledge of dating Stacy, he should be mature enough to find his own way. We have to watch the mileage because it is leased and I am close to the limit. Brent came home from work and said that Steve told Shane about what they think is going on and Jessie is very upset. Steve had no right to do that, especially when Stacy is not doing what they say she is doing. Steve is getting way too involved in this to be just an innocent bystander. He is telling everyone that this all started with Stacy, flirting with Sullivan and she should admit to that fact. He is making it sound like they have been together since before Jessie and her broke up. Sounds like sour grapes to me. They are just seeing each other right now, she won't commit to him at all and she doesn't have to. She is terribly upset about the flirting part. Annie at 3/15/2003 04:33:00 a.m. Caesar is still so sick, James told the pet store where they recommended the groomers and they are going to talk to the groomer. April and Erin went for a sleepover at Grammies. Even while I was there for the first hour Grammie called both of them, especially Erin, different names - any name but her own. Why does she even have to mention their names when she knows she won't get it right? I think she enjoys making the person uncomfortable and is just playing a game. Stacy visited Sullivan for about an hour while I was at Grammies, he lives in our old neighborhood. I don't think she ever has made a move and invited herself over to a guys house before. Nadia at Derrick's tonight she came home early from the game complaining about blurry vision and pressure in her head and neck .We asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital but she went to bed instead. Brent worked to 9:30. I am really upset at the way Brent and his friends are treating Sullivan, like a lynch mob. I don't even think the stories can be true, Brent always thought highly of him before. Steve liked Stacy in the summer; Dan liked Stacy enough for Brent to get mad at him a couple years ago (see oct 26 00). Carlie went out with Sullivan just before Derrick (maybe someone even noticed Carlie staring at Sullivan at the twins party like I did), I wonder if that is a sore spot. Also the fact that Sullivan sees Rich more than them might be aggravating for those poor homophobic boys, I know it is tough on them and they probably can't understand Sullivan's viewpoint right now. I hope they don't just want him not to have her as a girlfriend, that would be self-serving. They all ganged up on Adam last December when it should have only been between Brent and Adam. Stacy said that Adam is the only one that is treating her normal. Every time Stacy is out, Brent is asking about her whereabouts and presumes that she is out only with Sullivan, when that hasn't been the case. It is not a fun house right now. He will question her, like telling her that he thinks Sullivan still has a girlfriend, that Sullivan is playing games with her and then won't let Stacy answer. She has to talk to him and he has to let her have her say. I got one stubborn boy. Sullivan did have a girlfriend, they went out over a year and they broke up in early February Annie at 3/14/2003 04:24:00 a.m. I finally dragged April to the mall where she tried dozens of pants on and picked 5 out to buy. We went to Casey's after April, Monica, Stacy, Sullivan who caught a ride with us and met up with us later and then Amy whose mom dropped her off. Interesting enough Sullivan has had a run in with Josh B and as usual an opportunity to get someone in trouble appeared and Josh took advantage of it. We had something to eat and April now calls Sullivan and Salad Eater. He is good at sparring with April and even Monica could handle some teasing. We told him about when Monica was little and I told her that she should never take her clothes off with boys around. She replied that "as of right now today I won't do it again." She laughed along with everyone. Stacy is comfortable with her sisters near Sullivan so I am really enjoying the interacting. I had a couple of beers because I am getting the cold that is going around the family and I know I will be in bed for the rest of my holidays. I wanted to see how Amy drives but Stacy took exception to it. Monica actually jumped on Sullivan's back just before we entered our house and he fell backwards into the snow. The girls really like him. April and Monica went tobogganing with the neighbourhood kids and they had a ball, its funny James put the toboggan leaned up against the house hopping someone would steal it and now the girls are using it. I am glad, good clean snow fun. Brent and Sullivan crossed paths when we got home, Sullivan tried to talk to him while Brent was being driven back to work. Brent seemed ok to him but we knew he wasn't. Brent tried to blame me for setting him up with Sullivan in the car, but I am not taking any blame or letting me get involved further so he can get madder at me. He wants me to make Stacy not see him but Stacy has to figure things out for herself and I think people get closer when others try to tell them what to do. Anyway who says Stacy is trying to do anything, at this point it looks like she is just interested in getting to know him. No decisions are being made by her right now although all this nonsense is making her look like she has to. Later on April called me up to say that Jessie was asking her questions on icq that she didn't understand and it became clear to me that someone has told Jessie something about Stacy and Sullivan. April just asked today where Jessie has been and I told her that Jessie and her broke up about 3 weeks ago. She said that she didn't even notice and I said that is why they broke up because they weren't together enough. April didn't even connect that Sullivan could be interested in her sister because every time she sees them together one of Stacy's friends are there too. How much of a romance could they possibly be having when the kids in our own house aren't noticing or pairing them off as a couple when they are basically here all the time? Brent's work environment is not ideal right now. Imagine working with Stacy's ex and his posse, having his own buddy Steve telling stories for his own selfish reasons, another guy John enjoying everyone's discomfort and making the best of it for himself. John is known for being a shit disturber, happy when people are at odds with each other. I don't really know the details just Brent saying that he is causing shit. But 'they' say that John will soon be gone. They figure that he has been back stabbing everyone, trying to make himself look good. He got a lip ring and the boss man hates his new image. He looked kind of slimy before hand and now he is just not presentable enough for him. So John’s termination will be a good thing. In the bosses defense his lip ring does look terrible. I don't normally have anything any input as far as piercing and tattoos go, each to their own and all, but this one looks gross. His lip isn't a perfect shape to begin with and protrudes out in a pouty fashion on an unevenly angle. Add to it extra swelling and it just looks awkward half dangling half caught up in the puff of extra lip material. Steve has been telling stories at work about what he thinks is going on with Stacy and Sullivan and Brent is enraged. Poor Brent, it must be hell to go into work right now. Steve is manipulating the entire situation. He has control over the whole show, and it is a show. He is a friend with Sullivan, Jamie, Brent and Stacy and they are his little puppets. Steve is pretending to be all noble saying that no one should try to go out with Stacy right know because Jessie will get her back but last year he was sniffing her out the moment Jessie and her broke up (actually after reading my diary about last summer Steve was the one hanging out with her the most when she was with Brent even before Jessie and her broke up). This has nothing to do with Jessie. Jessie has not tried even once to get her back. It is over.When Stacy came home from the movie that she went out with Sullivan and Amy, she sat down at the computer and tried to tell Jessie what was going on. Jessie is heartbroken. She is really upset with Steve interfering with her life, doesn't understand why Steve would be doing all of this. I have never accused Steve of being dumb; in fact he is very clever. He silently watches the situations and then uses everyone to back stab each and every one of the people involved. A soap opera that he created is unfolding right in front of his eyes and he doesn't even have to pay for cable to enjoy what he is watching. Stacy realizes Steve involvement now, and she knows that this whole mess has brought Sullivan closer to her and she is developing a strong connection to him. I knew that Steve's interference was going to mess up what could have been an innocent relationship. Not to say that she wouldn't have gone out with him, but she wouldn't feel that everyone else was trying to run her life and push her into decisions that should have taken a long time if it were to happen at all. I am very upset about Steve. Caesar is beside himself. He has multiple wounds all over his body. The vet says that sometimes they have dogs come in after grooming with one maybe 2 sores but they are all over Caesar. His sac is raw and we have to put panties on him He had a needle, cream and pills to help him over this. With the heartworm test added we had a $155.00 vet bill. Caesar won’t move, just lies there, poor baby and he hates the underwear. Annie at 3/12/2003 11:52:00 p.m.
Caesar is going snaky with itch, like he has razor burn and he is licking between his legs until it has become raw. Brent has passed his cold on to his dad. James is down and out flat in bed sick with cold today. Brent should have worked about 40 hours last week on his reading week but was so sick he only got 2 days in. James can't move! Four of us have had it but I am usually the last to get it! Nadia was asked to come into the NHL today even though she had an exam because of the NHL Trading deadline. She phoned me to say that the NHL feels that Nadia has cracked a Major International Infringement Ring and are teasing her about having to testify in Australia! Nadia has invited Stacy for a tour of the NHL so I had to phone Sullivan's mom (yay yellow.ca) to get his cell phone. I hope they take her up on it. Brent showed me how to text message with my icq! He wants me to keep him up on the NHL trades. I love learning new things. Stacy and Sullivan went to the NHL and were given Hockey Hall of Fame tickets and Nadia went with them. They were going downtown but didn't seem to have anything planned so I emailed Nadia and asked if she could go out with them for lunch and possibly get something going with the NHL. Nadia didn't let me down! They met Kris King there. He is the one that says no hockey players are going to get near his daughter so I am glad we listened to the advise the school gave us about Stacy and the hockey players a couple of years ago! April's party. I picked up Stacy at the GO train and so I didn't see what kids came to April's party. I got this weird phone call from this girl's brother and he freaked when he found out it was a party for 15-year olds, his sister is in grade 8 at some out of the way school. His sister had lied about where she was going and so he and another girls parent came over went downstairs and hauled them out. I had a few phone calls from concerned parents about drinking, a parent had intercepted an email about drinking here so she obviously was not allowed to come. I told them I was down there a lot and many pictures would be taken so they will be ok. I took aside 2 of April's friends told them what was happening and how important that there not be any booze. I said that I don't care how they feel they can handle it just make sure it doesn't happen. Obviously there has to be some merit to the booze situation so I have to really be alert to the possibility. I have been really trying to trust April so I hope she doesn't blow it trying to let people drink here. This might be a bumpy ride! They have enough parties here and a lot of fun to know that they really don't need the booze. They were well behaved with the exception of a few and the peanut jar had to be confiscated but I am having luck with no drinking because April's friend are not mingling with older kids like my first three did. April is able to keep the kids in control so it is teaching her about maturity too! Lets see if I remember some of the kids that were here. I need to remember because these might be the kids April will hang out with for the next couple of years and I would like to get to know them like I know my oldest kids friends. I'll remember who they are by all the pictures I took. I put it on a computer slide show with music adn they loved it. Annie at 3/12/2003 04:28:00 a.m. April has the hang of it. I always want to know where my kids are. She is meeting new people now hoefully that means away from Chelsea. She best thing though is that she is emailing me the info about her where abouts! Good job! The importance of phones Stacy went back to bed at lunchtime with her phone. I guess she is doing that text message thing with Sullivan. Kind of cute. Later on in the day she was on the phone for 3 hours with him! She has such a big smile on her face. In the evening there was another long call which is so unusual for Stacy. Stacy has to decide whether to trust Sullivan and I believe that she has already made that decision. I told Stacy that what Brent is telling us could possibly be true and everything we have heard too, but if the sex gossip is true, people change when they find the right girl and guys do like to brag, she knows that already. She is going into this with eyes wide open. Stacy has been the object of guys falsely bragging a couple of times by guys who have not gone out with her, but the guys who have gone out with her have never talked about her during or after, so I know those guys never believe that gossip that she has got in her past. I know she sure hates Darren for that and he never even went out with her at all. Stacy looked surprised that I said that and said that Jessie had a reputation for talking like that but he never talked about her. I said that she has to decide herself whether to trust him because she can't have a good relationship if there is no trust. Talked to Brent about Stacy and Sullivan, asked him to listen but he won't, says he is going to punch his face in. That solves everything doesn't it? I don't understand why an intelligent person can't see he is making the opposite of what he wants to happen. I don't think Sullivan would do anything wrong to her because he is Brent's friend and he would have too much to lose. Besides, he lives in Scarborough, how often will they actually get to see each other? Maybe a long distance relationship is what she is looking for - she always needs to have space around her. The more Brent acts this way the more stubborn and protective Stacy is getting. He says he won't speak to Stacy if she goes out with him. I told Brent that Nadia was wrong when she acted this way toward Cyrstal, just as he is now. Stacy has to make a decision on her own and Stacy says there is no reason to make a decision now because it is all too soon. It is interesting to note that I told Brent about Jess C., that he has shown an immediate interest in Stacy now that she is single again, and then Brent told such disgusting gossip about him to James and I, I can't even repeat it, and he said it so we would be against the guy. Brent seems to want to pick who will see Stacy and it doesn't work that way. He is trying to protect her against almost everyone, but it can't be him or me making the decisions for her. I think his friends are feeding into his fears, especially Steve. I got a reply back from Candice, I ask her if she could tell me anything about Sullivan since they lived only a couple of houses away.Email from Candice: Hello, I am now at York finishing my second year in Psychology. I can't remember if i told you, but I never went to the high school near our area I went to Don Mills Collegiete Institute. Also we moved again from there 2 years ago. So unfortunately i do not know this person, Sullivan (?) I wish I could help with this situation. But maybe i could offer some advice. Considering they are so close in age, it's only natural that each would be protective of each other...if Brent doesn't want Stacy to go out with his friend, it's either because he knows he wouldn't treat her right, or he just doesn't want her to date anyone at all. If this is the case (the latter) then I would support Stacy and Brent will just have to deal with it. However, if it's because he knows Sullivan is "no good for her" there must be some reason he thinks that, he probally knows him really well... in this case i would have to agree with and support Brent , but there's nothing you can do to prevent Stacy from dating him, because she is going to do it anyway, in secret if necessary, i know ;) So as long as she's warned and Brent warns his friend not to treat her badly, then it's up to them. I hope this situation isn't causing too much trouble in the house! I hope i helped somewhat. Thanks for the picture...i remember that shirt im wearing! hahaha... hope to hear from you again soon. Candice :) PS. Ill try and send some more recent pic soon! ----------------------- Monica was at Cory's for most of the day but only had cheese and crackers. If she is going to stay there for hours at a time she is going to have to start asking to be fed there. She is so active she needs lots of calories.I took April and Erin to the arena, she wants to invite some kids over to our house for tomorrow. April bumped into Brent's ex, Crystal and said that Crystal was holding hands with some ugly guy and when she saw April she tried to get out of talking to her. Crystal was closest to April when she was going out with Brent so April realized she must have only been nice because she was trying to get closer to Brent. Too bad. Annie at 3/11/2003 04:29:00 a.m. The Third Degree In light of what happened last night with Brent and Sullivan I had trouble sleeping again so I had time for a lot of thinking. Stacy and Sullivan are both intelligent and I am sure that if they could avoid conflict they would. Sullivan said in an email that he couldn't have people mad at him, whether it is warranted or not so he must be going through a lot of turmoil, but what people think he is doing is making lots of people angry. If he could avoid it he would. Therefore he obviously can't control what he is feeling. He must really care for Stacy. Or he must really have the hots for her. One feeling can be as strong as the other. Stacy has always gone out of her way to make everyone happy even by taking the blame for things she didn't do to avoid everyone fighting but this time she is protesting, she must feel the same or she might be rebelling against what Steve is making people believe. With all these bad feelings surrounding them both, all the negative remarks, being together for them must be a strong positive feeling or else they wouldn't be doing this. They must be making each other feel incredibly happy to take all the anger that comes along with it. That says a lot for there commitment to each other during this stand off. I couldn't think of a better time to talk to a teenager when there guard is down than waking them up from a dead sleep and giving them the interrogation. It might seem mean but I want to talk to him when he is at his crankiest and that in my experience is by waking a teenager up early. I went down at 9 in the morning and woke Sullivan up to talk about what was happening. He looked frozen, and very nervous. I should have given him more blankets but guess I wanted him physically adn mentally uncomfortable. I guess by having this conversation with him, I acknowledged his feelings for Stacy, I have taken the burden of him asking for permission to pursue her which is what he had intended on doing. I told him that he must really care for Stacy if he was willing to get mixed up with Brent and all the guys because it is not just Brent that is giving him a hard time and it is not just some guys getting mad at him but his own friends. I really have to wonder about that, is it because they see it as Sullivan always getting what he wants, like Stacy's friends always think she gets too? I warned him that he is up against every one of his friends, that he is not respecting his friends wishes. I said that if he has felt like an outcast the last few months with his friends what would his friends be like if he actually goes out with Stacy? Is it that important to risk losing all his friendship over a girl? Did he know that they all pretty much had a thing for Stacy at one time or other so how would they feel if Sullivan actually got to go out with her? She is the one girl they all thought of as untouchable. He seems to think that it will all blow over but I know that Brent has a memory like an elephant and holds grudges forever. I made it very clear to him that it might not be in his best interests to go out with Stacy. I told him that they have to work it out with his friends. I know that he wouldn't talk about my daughter the way Brent says he has talked about others because he obviously has too much to lose. I know that guys tell tales, it is part of the game of non commitment to talk about their sexcapades, I guess these days they call it being a player but then the one right girl comes along that changes the way they feel and changes how they talk about the girl. He seemed to agree with me and said that this group of guys has a way of complaining about a person but not to there face and he was giving Brent some space until he feels he can talk to him. It is funny that they are all friends with Sullivan, so why don't they want to see anything happen between Stacy and Sullivan. Is it because Steve won't let go of it or is it because she is Brent's sister and Steve knows how to upset him about it? Why are people trying to protect Stacy from Sullivan? Is it because Steve is making it a problem because he certainly is talking up a storm about it to me so he must be doing it to the guys too? Why is Sullivan's character being questioned now, when it never was an issue before? Brent always said before that he liked him. Stacy and Sullivan spent most of the day avoiding Brent, at my request. Brent has to cool down. I want them to really know if it is worth it so I want them to spend this time getting to know each other. I feel terrible doing this but in light of what Brent has said, I feel that they need time to work it out. When everyone got home Stacy and Brent talked a bit and Brent couldn't understand why Sullivan hasn't talked to him about Stacy. Can't win for trying can you? How do you initiate that conversation when Brent is threatening to beat his face in? Brent needs to talk and let Stacy talk Stacy says she will try to talk to Brent again tomorrow. Monica didn't come home from Holly's until about 4, not even a phone call. She went to a skills camp for goalies where a woman thought she and Holly were twins. April wasn't feeling well for most of the day but she went to Erin's in the evening and stayed overnight. Annie at 3/10/2003 04:15:00 a.m. Stacy woke up early to pick up Sullivan from Amy's house. Amy had to work at 10am so he had to leave before that. It would have been better if he could have left after ten, when Brent was gone to work because of course he noticed the car gone and figured out quickly who Stacy was with. This is ridiculous that it feels like cloak and dagger time and it is making them have something in common when there should be nothing. It is putting pressure on them to be closer than they really are. Stacy is adamant that she does not want to go out with one guy right now, she wants to be free, but if she wants to have Sullivan as a friend she has to sneak and then people think that there is more going on. It is not taking much to make Brent even more upset about Stacy. They went out for a quick breakfast and then brought him back here for the afternoon and then Amy joined them. She seems to feel more comfortable when her friends are here too when she is with him. They are nervous about Brent's reaction because the guys have put it in Brent's head that he is not a good person all of a sudden. If she has to be attached to someone, which I would rather she not be, I would rather her go out with someone Brent knows than all the others that are interested in her, because it would cost him too much if he were out to hurt her. It might cost him everything if he even goes out with her too. In other words, if Sullivan hurts Stacy, then Brent and his friends would hurt him. When Stacy took him home, Amy went with them then too. They were all vying for shotgun so Sullivan is not assuming the role of owning the front seat; it is still up for grabs. Stacy wants to talk to Brent to say that they are not seeing each other yet, she just wants to get to know him and not go out with him right away. Caesar got clipped, big time, right down to the poufy tail. Cost $75.00. but this time he was not caged, they let him room the house. He is so itchy though, he walks and almost jumps out of his skin to try to scratch. Monica asked if she could stay overnight at Holly's and watch the Ring a scary movie that James doesn't want her to see. I know she is going to see it with or without permission because all her friends are so I would rather her ask, so I said yes. I am nervous about her staying at Holly's because of Colleen, but I guess I have to let her and just hope Colleen has grown up a bit in all of this jealousy bit. Went out with Ann and some high school friends that I haven't seen since high school. Natasha and Ann picked me up on the corner of Main and Danforth and Ann assured Natasha that she would recognize me immediately, which she did. She gave me a big hug when we got out of the car. As I was going into Ann's place I heard them saying that they probably won't even recognize me and that I won't even know who they are since it was 30 years past. I entered the room at that moment and said. Hi, Debbie! She looked at me and said that it was like she was looking at me as a 17 year old again. Yeah right. They were all very impressed that I got my kids names out of my yearbooks! We played a game called Cranium and Ann got drunk on the wine. She was mad that Cathy won and I told her that Ann had won, but I don't think Ann realized that I was talking about me since I was Cathy's partner! When I got home Stacy, Sullivan and Amy were downstairs playing with Trivia Pursuit cards, something that would be foreign to her with other guys and she looked so happy to be doing it! A guy actually wanting her to use her brain!!! Brent came home and he was upset that Sullivan was there, told me that he didn't want him seeing Stacy because he doesn't like the way he talks about girls and he won't let him talk about Stacy that way. But whatever was said Stacy was there for so why is it not bothering her, it can't be all that bad then? I told him that Stacy was not alone with him, that Amy was there too and to go down and talk to him and he threatened that he was going to punch Sullivan out. I told him that Stacy had to make her own decisions and he was adamant that it wasn't going to happen. Brent told Stacy that right to her face. Stacy isn't used to altercations, usually goes out of her way to avoid them, she is a happy person who doesn't like any part of sadness. Normally she would do as Brent says, but she is quietly disobeying Brent. I went down and talked to Sullivan and told him that the reason Brent has given is because of his reputation he had about what he was doing with girls. Sullivan said that it was because it was what he had led them to believe, that had given him the reputation. He is very straightforward with me, and I appreciate that. But he has to know how upset Brent is about this. I know his friends are feeding his fiery temper but I don't think that they realize that the more they try to make Stacy do what they want there is going to be a point where she will rebel, it is only human nature. Brent also has to give Stacy credit, if she goes into a relationship knowing his reputation and Sullivan knows that she has not gone that route, I don't think there is a chance in hell that he would win over a battle of wills over her. Stacy was very upset with Brent. Sullivan stayed overnight. They have to fix it, can't ignore it and think it will go away because this will really hurt their social life if they are going to be a couple. Stacy has to talk to Brent on her own. Stacy says that she feels like she is being pushed into a decision where she has to decide if she will be going out with Sullivan but not by him, but her brother and the guys that talk about her, like Steve. Annie at 3/09/2003 04:53:00 a.m. I have to remember to bring my car in before the 60,000 so I will have coverage I am at 53,638 as of this morning. Stacy went out with Amy and went and got Sullivan for the day, the three of them went to the movies and dinner and then back to Amy's. He missed his GO train so he stayed at Amy's for the night. He has stayed at Erin's house a couple of nights too. Monica spent most of the day hanging around the house and trying to clean her room, her choice! She wants the bedroom changes! She went to Cory's for about and hour. I want her to start bringing Cory around because she is spending a lot of time there. Brent was finally feeling better today and Morgan called on him so they hung out. He was gone all evening. They went out to Don Cherry's. At work today Nadia remarked about getting stuck with a counterfeit jersey and the NHL told her to bring it in and they would reimburse her. Later they came back to her with an authentic jersey, looked at the Internet site and E bay and realized that the guy had sold thousands and contacted their lawyers from New York. They are going after him and Nadia's name is all over the correspondence to the lawyers! Nadia always seems to get out of bad situations and they always work out for her! April phoned us from Oshawa and sounded upset on the phone and asked to be picked up on the corner of Thornton and Rossland so we dropped everything. She has been out on the streets with Carling and Tara and three unknown guys for hours and her feet were killing her. (Yesterday when they were driving me crazy trying to get into my bedroom when I was naked, she stubbed her toe). The group had been trying to pair her off with this guy Nick, he is 17, but she wanted no part of it. Good that she doesn't buckle under peer pressure. She is ready to be trusted a lot more. Time to let go of some strings with April finally, yeah! She is setting her own boundaries now and setting her own standards. Annie at 3/08/2003 04:53:00 a.m. Stacy came home about 12, said his train didn't come until late. They decided to let him miss his ride in to Scarborough so Sullivan could have more time with her. She said they kissed tonight but I am still betting that they kissed the night before! Brent is still very sick and coughing up blood. Steve is better today but perhaps he should have stayed in bed. He got over $400.00 worth of police tickets and points for speeding, improper use of seatbelt, no ownership...Brandon got one for his seat belt. Monica had Kate and Holly in for the evening but wanted a sleepover. James intervened and said no because of the way she was talking to me this morning. She wanted her radio on and April had a headache so she fought about it until I got involved. She tries to get me involved in her little fights and so it will end up her and me arguing but I don't want to play. Nadia got a Florida Panthers hockey jersey from the Internet for Derrick and it is a counterfeit, even the wrong colours. I guess you have to take your chances on the Internet and learn your lessons. Ripped off! Derrick really doesn't want to wear it when it is so obviously fake. He was really upset that Nadia got taken in on a gift for him. I had a shower around 4:30, and all of a sudden I was the most popular person in the house- everyone wanted me, people pounding on my locked door yelling, phoning me to come downstairs. Finally I marched downstairs wet, in my towel yelling "what???" and Amy was there. They looked surprised. I went up stairs kicked everyone out of my bedroom again and while I was trying to shut the door Caesar jumped out of my bed scarred the crap out of me so that I screamed! April went to Carling's with Tara for a sleepover. I am sure there is very little supervision but I have to give her a little space so she can use her own judgement like I did with my other kids. It has been harder to trust her but in the last couple of months her maturity has grown in leaps and bounds so it is time to let her make her own decision and see if they are the right ones. Chelsea apparently is not welcome over there because she is flirting with everyone's boyfriend (always has). She said not to expect a morning phone call so I hope they are where they should be. Stacy went out with the girls tonight and then they came over here to watch a movie later. It was nice to see Coral with them. I got the impression she was not happy about Stacy and Jessie breaking up, since Shane is Jessie's best friend a that it is going to be harder to hang around together. Annie at 3/07/2003 04:37:00 a.m. National BJ day! I don't believe that I had to remind James...it's fun to tease him. I told him that day is followed by the whole month of April for me! Stacy's pschio, she is still walking pretty stiff. It snowed a lot overnight. Quite a workout walking Caesar in all that snow, my legs are extremely sore! Brent was home sick from work again. Adam phoned and said that a lot of the guys had strep throat especially Steve (he who complains the most has the sorest throat!) and they figure they caught something when they were all together at Doobers. Hopefully with all these guys being sick they aren't in contact with each other so maybe this war against Sullivan will die out on its own. Fingers crossed. April tried out for the school Lacrosse team after school so I picked her and her friends up pretty late. I am glad she is trying new sports, that is all I want for them to do, experience it all. April had Laura over again on the computer. Cory got into trouble at school so had an in school suspension and couldn't see the afternoon movie. Monica went to Cory's after school, didn't come home till I phoned her at 7:30 but I wish when she did this she would have supper there. Monica had her playoff's in house league Basketball, they were favourites to win but all of her players showed up today, you know the ones that never came regularly and never learned anything so Monica didn't get all the court time she is used to. She is usually red faced when she comes to volleyball but not this time. Her team got silver. Stacy went out tonight with Sullivan. I guess his mother was coming in for cadets and he came in to meet Stacy and go to for a drink at Williams. I thought she was going to be home about 9:30 but it is almost 11 and she still isn't home. I told her to stay on main roads because it is pretty slippery out. April said a grade nine girl Amanda had a naked picture taken and it was circulated around the school and now the boys are in trouble. This is the same girl that went missing a couple of week ago. Attention seeker at the expense of the boys. Annie at 3/06/2003 04:44:00 a.m. Brent is sick today with cold. He got dressed to go, went into work, and asked if they absolutely needed him because he was so sick. He slept all day. He said his head is killing him. I went to the Kegs's for breakfast and saw their new bedroom hardwood floor with short slats, looks nice said it costs $1,000.00. Josh is still sick and when we talked about the party Marita said that Josh didn't drink and then lit into him about it when she realized that he did. He was calm about it and said "I drank whatever Brent was drinking". People thought he was funny. James and I went out to Don Cherry's with Derrick and Nadia and it was very enjoyable. Derrick is very relaxed and quite comfortable with us now. Nadia of course also has a cold because it is exams and she always has a cold for exams. June from Nadia's NHL job came to Durham College to talk to her peers. She told them what it takes to be a good intern. Later she told Nadia that Nadia has done everything that it takes. Some of the guys tried to hit on June and she says she won't forget there faces if they come by the NHL looking for jobs. It really insulted her. Monica is in playoffs in soccer and they really step up the intensity of indoor soccer in playoffs. It was a close game but they won. Cody and Brandy came to cheer. April had Laura over for the evening. In the midst of all the freind problem she is able to widen find other people to hang out with adn then she alwsy has Jeff. Stacy and I went to the store to buy Popsicles for the sickos. We talked about her situation and she says that when she sees him, even when she hears his name, she gets Goosebumps! I asked her if they had kissed and she said no, I wish I hadn't asked her because damn, that face gives her away! She has a kiss and tell face. I think this adrenaline rush might be her way of rebelling, not against me but against the people who are talking about her, mainly Steve. All this negative talk is actually making them look closer or even feel closer than they actually are. I wish that she cold explore how she feels instead of having to deal with all this pressure that Brent's friends are putting on her. I told her that she was putting Sullivan in the position where he might lose all his friends if they start dating but I don't think she can hear all the negative things that could happen. I am not backtracking here. I still don't want them to go out as boyfriend/girlfriend, I feel that it would be huge mistake, but I am giving my daughter the space to make her own decisions. That is why I want her to have time with him...so she can make a wise decision own her own. I hope her decision matches mine but I am giving her the opportunity to make her own choice. As long as she has thought long and hard about it, hopefully it will all work out for the best. I have thought long and hard, I will support any decision she makes. Annie at 3/05/2003 04:39:00 a.m. Third night of no sleep. I feel like I am running on adrenalin. Stacy is finally talking about Sullivan, which I really appreciate. It is nice to be held in her confidence again. She told me that she likes him, likes talking to him, and wants to really get to know him more. She also said that she does not want to go out, out with anyone, which I am happy to hear. I was in the kitchen with Monica noticing that she is getting taller and I told her that I guess I couldn't call her my little girl anymore. At that she leaned down and put her head between my breasts and shook her head between them like she used to when she was a toddler. It was a habit that took a long time to break and I am so surprised that she remembered that she used to do that! Humour, ha ha. She is still my baby. Stacy's former stalker boy, told Monica that she looks exactly like Stacy today. Oh oh. Monica lost her bracelet and earrings in the gym today; she is really upset. Later it was turned in by a grade 2 boy who had brought them home for his mommy. At volleyball tonight the girls that had been at the Batmitsva were all pretty close, guess they bonded at the party. April phoned Tara to wish her a happy birthday, which I thought was very big of her after all the fighting they did. They were pleasant on the phone and apparently made up. Chelsea is still ignoring her though. Annie at 3/04/2003 04:33:00 a.m. Sullivan cleaned the whole basement before he went to bed last night. I heard a crash of the gate around 4am (Sullivan cleaning) and realized how cold it was, we had turned the heat off for the party because it gets so hot down there. I went back to bed and then I remembered that the windows in the basement were opened so I had to go down there and close them. Sullivan is so quick that he has really impressed me. He is a breath of fresh air, living proof that teenagers can indeed act like the characters of Dawson Creek, a programme that teenagers say is unbelievable because people can't articulate like that at that age yet still they are glued to each episode. It is refreshing to talk to him, when so many teens are still in or emerging from their grunt stage. He was talking about the Haida and how the Cadets were on it and I said that I had seen Dan's websight pictures and he immediately realized I saw some pictures that he didn't want me to see and he explained them. I don't care, I have seemingly incriminating pictures too, and it was all done in fun. Stacy said he is so fast that didn't even get the 'Who farted' look on his face! Amy's mother phoned me to ask questions about Amy's whereabouts this weekend. A bunch of Brent friends and Stacy's friends were all at a restaurant. I phoned Amy and told her what I told her mother, which is what I believe to be true. If she isn't being honest (I think she is with me) maybe she will respect me enough to start being honest, but I don't see a time where she hasn't been truthful with me. I saw her go outside last night and I asked her if she was going out for a smoke and she looked me right in the eye and nodded yes, so I trust her. Monica went to Sarah's Batmista in Oshawa. She looked so good in Stacy's dress- so grown up. I bought her 3-inch slip on shoes, she would be tall enough to pass for her sister! Stacy did her hair in a bun with braids and Amy painted her nails a double blend of colours. She loved being pampered! It is nice that she (my little tomboy) is interested in dressing up. Her main fear was to walk in and be the only one in a dress and guess what, she was the only one in a short dress! She looked at me in a panicked way and then squared her shoulders and walked proudly in all alone. I admired her determination to not feel centered out! It didn't bother her after all because she felt good about the way she looked. Nadia went to the Lion King with Derrick today. It is a combination Valentine and 2 year anniversary gift to Nadia. I woke Stacy up early because I know that Brent would be in bed all day and I didn't want to see Sullivan alone and uncomfortable. Brent just won't wake up. Besides if he is interested in her, this way they will have lots of time talking in a supervised area. I know that physical attraction is there but I am hoping that they will talk a lot and really know that they want each other for what is between their ears rather than, you know. I don't want to always think that he was interested in her because everyone else was. It has always worried me that guys think of her as the prize and I hope this isn't the case. The fact that they talked so much that night impressed me so I hope I am not just imaging he is what she needs. I am not pushing them together, rather I want them to talk as much as possible to see what the attraction is. Truth be known, it would be better for Stacy if she were able to develop a friendship with a guy that didn't automatically turn into a girlfriend boyfriend scenario. I would like that for her very much. There is too much against these two to get involved right now, too much damage would be done so maybe they can see their way to being close friends. The fact that she hasn't told me that she likes him that way shows me that this is just what she needs, a friend that is a boy. Sullivan strikes me as a smart guy so I think he can see that it would be hard on his friendships to go out with Stacy so...I am keeping my fingers crossed. A bunch of Brent and Stacy's friends got together for wings, later on in the evening and Stacy drove Sullivan home to Scarborough and when she phoned home to me, Brent picked up the phone and was really upset that Stacy had driven him home. Brent's friends had asked him if he wanted a ride home and he turned it down. I think it was different when Stacy asked him. I had suggested it earlier in the day when Brent wouldn't get up. I thought he might have to go home in the afternoon, so I hope I didn't set them up to get them in trouble. Stacy has never said that she liked him or anything. If she ever were to go out with him I want her to be in the position that she has talked to him lots before hand, really gets to experience him, so that they know if it is worth it. I really don't think that she would jump into anything so soon. Also Sullivan would have a lot to lose (friendships) and I even told Brent that I would rather her go out with someone who has to lay something on the line. That way I know that he really does care for her. Brent is being so judgemental is hard to watch, he won't even listen to anything Stacy says about the whole Sullivan mess, he just says, "whatever, I don't want to listen to you". I told Brent that by acting this way she would eventually start coming to Sullivan's defence and that Brent was actually making them closer. Brent is not giving Stacy a chance to think for herself. She has never ever had a disagreement with Brent, usually what he says is THE WORD so this is not pleasant to watch. I told Brent that it was my idea to have Stacy drive him home but he doesn't believe me. You know, I always ask who sits beside Stacy and I don't know why no one else can see this but it is always Steve. The one evening that Sullivan was there she spent the whole evening playing cards with Steve and yet somehow Sullivan managed to get talked about. What gives there? I wish Brent could see that his good friend is causing all this talk and is hurting his work relationship with Jessie because Steve is blabbing untruths to anyone at Brent's work who will listen. Steve is going after her no holds barred, but he throws up the screen of Sullivan and all people can see is that Sullivan is there and not that Steve is always sitting beside Stacy. If Stacy had wanted to go out with Steve she would have last year. She is not choosing Steve and he is using Sullivan to get everyone to rally behind him. He did this when he was out to get Adam too. Before the comments were all up front and Steve kept telling people what Adam was going to say before he said it and that is when all the back stabbing of Brent's group began. Yes Adam was sarcastic and he was saying things about people but it was to their face and then Steve kept telling everyone that Adam was talking about them and Steve got exactly what he wanted, Adam out of the way. Meanwhile the one who talks the most to Sullivan is Steve and he is using it against Sullivan. He is nice when he is one on one to Sullivan but he is a back stabber extraordinaire. If he wasn't using Sullivan like this everything would be toned down and my daughter wouldn't feel the pressure of having to choose someone. She should be allowed to be single and enjoy who ever company she wants. Why does she have to pick? Annie at 3/03/2003 10:46:00 a.m. I cleaned all day with the kids. We actually got the laundry room and the dinning room clean which took all day. We found James's blue Jeans, the ones he complained that I had to have lost, they were in a bag that he had taken on the camping trip in the fall! It was hard to not have Stacy healthy because she is such a good worker. This is the first day she hasn't used her crutches. Stacy is supposed to go out to dinner with her baseball team but I would rather her home at Brent's party with her sore leg. Nadia was off at Derrick's to study for exams. Brent's party and his friends took him to a couple of bars before they brought him home. Brent came to the party in very good shape even though he told me the bar had already cut him off. He was impressive for the whole night, I was proud that he didn't look smashed. Dave, Marita, John and Olivia came to the party for a while. Marita and Olivia went out for the ice cream cake for me, I had forgotten and I didn't get the punch made, oh well. Marita was not feeling well and the rest of the adults left before I served the chilli. There were two girls that entertained everyone with there intelligence of lack of it I should say. At one time one of the girls said something so dumb that Dan reached out to Carlie and held her as if to say 'thank god I have a smart one." Adam told Stacy that her top was too low- not really, she had 2 tops on, his way of watching out for her I guess. Adam seems pretty wrapped up in Robin and it is the first time I have actually seen her mingle downstairs, the other times she would have Adam talking upstairs away from the guys, in serious discussions. I did see Robin paying Steve a whole lot of attention though. I think that Brandon is being very hard on his brother Rich and the gay thing. I asked where Rich was and he had some rude comment about him being gay with his "fag possie." I think that was his term, and it turned out he was at work. Maybe he has too much trouble dealing with it and that is why he is drinking so much. I hear little comments all the time about Rich being gay and I think they all have kind of alienated him from the group. The only one who seems to be able to treat him normal is Sullivan. I guess that is why Rich is with Jodi a lot and therefore why Sullivan is with them so much. Sullivan, apparently is a lot of fun, kind of like what Jodi is- so says Stacy! Sullivan wasn't anywhere near Stacy at the party, at least downstairs where the party was. Things look back to normal. Him and Steve had a mini keg of Blue and Brandon and Brent had it poured into their mouths. Steve thought I was in line for it. Right. Maybe Brandon had a few too many because he had some snide remarks for me, enough to make me realize that he knew about James's finger. I never thought we should have protected Brent with James's story, I sure have never told that fib, but then Brent turns around and tells someone? I didn't have to worry about anyone getting too bombed which is making me realize that it just might be the guys that Stacy hangs out with. There didn't seem to be much hanging outside (smoking) which I really have a problem with. Annie at 3/02/2003 04:45:00 a.m. Stacy must think I am stupid. I turn my computer on in the morning and icq always pops up. She was the last one on as per her nighttime ritual and all of a sudden she is switching icq back to mine after she checks hers. I guess Sullivan is contacting her. Her phone is never lying around everywhere like it used to, it is always with her now. Little things like this are starting me to question her and I don't like that feeling. All she has to say is that yes he is trying to talk to her. I am trying very hard to not have my feelings hurt, because I never thought it possible that she would be secretive to me but I guess it takes one boy to come in between a lifelong relationship. Then I second guess myself and wonder that maybe Sullivan just can't help himself, that he likes her so much that maybe it is meant to be. Then I wonder if he is the nice guy that I always thought he was. I just wish I knew him better. Then I begin to think that maybe Stacy likes him too and she can't help the way she feels. I just don't know what to think and I am trying to protect her. Things change fast. I was trying to trust her 100% but when all of a sudden she changes a couple year habits, I can't help but wonder. I guess I am supposed to pretend that nothing has changed. I could handle it if she told me that his attention has confused her or something, and we could talk through it but it is like if she talks about it, it is like confirming what I already know what was happening. I just don't want her to start anything after she has been in a relationship so long. Someone always gets hurt. I know she was not happy with Jessie - for a long time. Also since he already has a girlfriend then he is only interested in a little fling with her. WHY AM I THINKING OF ALL THIS STUFF WHEN SHE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HIM? SHE ALWAYS TALKS TO ME. I am so confused. Drove around for most of the morning for the kids, hot dog lunch, and the kids were really hyper at school and got into a lot of trouble. James and I took a vanload of garbage to the Dump, luckily we got there just before they closed the gate. This afternoon when I came into my room, Stacy quickly shut down a screen and I think it looked like something I was writing today. I hope I was seeing wrong because we have to have some faith that no one is looking at other people's stuff. I know that once she was mad at April and looked at her icq even though I said that it wasn't a good idea. It was when April was trying to talk to Shawn P. and Stacy didn't want her to. Stacy felt that it was an invasion of her privacy because he was her friend and I could see her point so I watched her do it. I am so into their lives that I don't even think I need to check up on them and I like them confiding in me. My kids tell me so much about her life and I think that it is because they trust that I don't look at their stuff so I hope they aren't looking at mine. I told Colleen not to look through Holly's diary at her private thoughts because Holly would never try to get close to her if she felt she was being spied on, my mom used to read my diary so I know what I am talking about. Colleen later told me that she stopped doing it and that Holly was talking to her more. The stuff I was writing was something I was going to show her anyway but I wanted to go through all the letters I wrote her before and talk about the things that mean a lot considering she is now single, it needs to be said again. I can't help but wonder now, a couple of weeks ago Stacy asked me something about an icq number that was on our computer when April reinstalled icq. Stacy looked at the identity of the icq number and then asked if I had something to do with it, I didn't understand what she meant back then but now I am starting to think that was a number of hers that she didn't want me to see. There was a lot of other numbers on there too but when you tried to open them up they just went away. She is really smart so maybe she tried to make it look like it wasn't hers under an alias. I wouldn't be thinking this except for a couple of years ago I am pretty sure she put on a icq name under a Bryan Watton and was bugging Gemma with it. It had to be otherwise there wouldn't have been history on my computer. I asked Brent about that. The only way I got on there was because this number was coming up and I tried to get the password and I spelt Bryan, Brian and got in- or vice versa. There were a lot of unexplained numbers on there at that time. I think I should talk to her before all these doubts build up too much. I caught April a couple of years ago making up icq people with different numbers so I know it can be done. James went in to have his finger checked and came home with a cast of his pinky!!! I had the talk with Stacy better to get what is bothering me out in the open. She said that she realized that I thought that but she hasn't been reading my stuff. Jessie wrote Stacy a note, saying that he really hopes he can be her friend always. It is good that it is important to him. She mentioned the game sheets that Nadia brought home this week and he does want the Detroit one. Stacy's school volleyball team, won LOSSA but Stacey didn't play Thursday at all. Stacy can't sit still enough even to cheer them on as she hasn't even been at school for whole days yet. They will be playing next week in Chatham for the Provincials but my daughter obviously won't be joining them. Unfortunately Amy is ditching Stacy like when she was single last time. Stacy suffers huge loneliness when she is newly single, happens every time. It is as if her friends are bothered or annoyed at the attention the guys give her so they don't want her with them if she is not attached to a guy. They were supposed to work on a project together but Stacy ended up working on it all Friday night by herself. She can really plunge herself into her work. Here we go again!!!! Annie at 3/01/2003 04:14:00 a.m.
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