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Peaces Of Me++++
++++ The miles just keep rollin as the people leave there way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go |
June 29/02 We went into town for lunch by the waterfront and to take Nadia to the bus for Toronto. Nadia has to work at Bingo tomorrow. There was a creepy druggie sitting next to us ate his entire meal with his eyes clothed in another world. He was entertaining for a while even though he was totally disgusting. Caesar probably has sore muscles from all the tearing around he has done in the last 3 days. Gord tried to hump him in the lake and was dragging him under the water so Caesar won't go near the water now. Erin doesn't go in the water as much as my aqua kids but April has some extra time in the water by taking a quick dip before Erin even wakes up so I hope it doesn't bother her too much. She loves to fish so they are having fun with that. Laura left some of the "bad" fish out of the water, which upset some of the cottagers because there was about five that died. Annie at 6/30/2002 03:35:00 a.m. Shelly was in to have the baby; they broke her water this morning. We found out later that she had a girl, Sidney around noon hour. I spent the day trying to pack for the cottage but I didn't get all that much help. April had to babysit till 3 so we finally got away at 4:00. April brought Erin up with us. About fifty trees have been cleared from the cottage property so I can imagine that even though mom knows about it, she will still be shocked. You can see the road from the cottage the brush will grow quick now that the sun is hitting the ground. Caesar looked so happy prancing around in the water. Gord, the water dog chased Caesar everywhere and they got along pretty well. Dave did not come for some reason, taking care of his new lawn so only Dave and Brent were missing. Laura, Emily, Monica, April and Katelyn slept in the trailer and Stacy and Andrea were in the attic. Andrea will be working at a camp all summer so this is the last time we will see her. Stacy and Andrea actually had conversations this time. Annie at 6/29/2002 04:29:00 a.m. I was so baffled this morning. I thought that Monica snuck in bed to snuggle with me and I sent her to the shower because we had slept in later than usual. She jumped in the shower and it was very confusing to me when a wet Stacy came to me and said that Monica was still asleep. Monica couldn't understand why I hadn't woken her up! I went to the school to watch the assembly as Monica was to be presented with the Wrestling Award but it was scheduled for 10:15 and I had to take Stacy for her license so I left my precious camera at school and they took the pictures with my camera for me. Stacy got her license!!! I was unsure because it was miserable weather, thundering and lightning and she was still getting used to the new van but she did it! When she got home she went off on her own, picked up Jessie and was out cruising with the van for hours. Later they drove home and out she went again to Jessie's house because she is still bored of being home. April came home today from Quebec and I waited for them with Fran, and she was still upset over how the teacher behaved to her daughter in Quebec. Every girl we talked to said the teacher was horrible. We went back to Fran's for a pizza and we wer shocked to see the teacher dropped by to use the phone. Why she felt she had to use her phone I don't know because the school has a phone. Fran and I hid in the basement while Erin looked for the cordless phone that just happened to be in my hand. While they were looking for the phone I held it up for Erin to grab as she passed me. Fran and I were laughing so hard in our hiding we were crying adn I am sure the teacher heard or even saw us. It was funny and hopefully she will realize that we didn't and wouldn't talk to her because we were so angry at her. Olivia had her annual neighbourhood school end party but a lot of the kids wandered the streets instead of staying in the back yard. They are growing up and I guess they don’t want to be fenced in anymore. Olivia reported that she told off Ryan the other day because he was peeking over the fence spying on Monica swimming in her skimpy bathing suit. He was also calling Monica names. Ya he likes her. Brent came home early from the cottage with Adam so that Adam could break up with his girlfriend before she goes away for the summer. It sound to me that his decision was impulsive and that he is expecting to have a good time with the ladies this summer. Iif you ask me he should have not broken up with Robin, just wait and see what the summer brings and not presume that there are babes out there just waiting for his attention! James was really disappointed they left, but at least he still has Nadia up with him. Brent was in a foul mood when he got home and wouldn't listen to anything I said, really impatient. I want Brent to realize that he has to get serious about his future. I even suggested that he try for Centennial College waiting list or even postpone college for a year. I don’t want him to blow it and that looks like what might happen because he hasn't been serious about school in a long time. He had from May on to hand in English papers, which he took his time but he never went to school regularly. His teacher had the right to lower his mark to 45%. I hope Brent gets serious, gets a job and really tries for his future. The power at the cottage is finally back! Annie at 6/28/2002 04:23:00 a.m. James and Nadia went up to the cottage today, Brent followed later with Adam. When they got up there they were disappointed to have no power; the lines had been cut in order to cut down the trees safely. During the winter many trees had fallen over the power lines. James's phone was low on batteries so I couldn't contact him, I had to depend on realyed messages. Everyone made the best of their circumstances except Brent and Aaron, they were pretty bummed out to be up there with nothing to do. I guess the computer geeks don't know how to experience nature in its raw form! The school put Brent's mark down to 45% so he has to go to summer school. It is probably for the best, hopefully he will learn to put more effort into life's adventures. We woke up thinking that today was the day Stacy tries for her Drivers Licence and we couldn't find her purse! We looked everywhere and Stacy panicked when she believed that April had packed it for her Quebec trip. I remembered that Monica packed for her so I asked Monica at school but she did not. We finally found it in the shoebox. Stacy realized today that she would be tested for her license in a vehicle that she has never driven before consequently I spent most of the day driving around with her so she could get used to it. She is having trouble parking, in the evening she drove so that she could check out their parking lot and it is pretty cramped. It took one hour to get there so know I know that I have to leave Monica's school by 10. Monica receives an award for wrestling tomorrow- Wrestler of the Year for her school! I knew by Monica's scraped knees that some kind of altercation had taken place and she begrudgingly told us her story. She got into a wrestling fight with Ryan at school. She realizes that she could get in trouble at school but I had to explain to her how excited it would have made Ryan (the birds and the bees). She said at its worse was when she wrestled him into submission with a headlock. Monica was totally grossed out when I reminded her of where his head would be when she put him in a headlock. We saw him eyeing our house again this evening. I don't want her thinking that she should use her strength to solve things but I think that he likes her. I guess he likes to be dominated! Annie at 6/27/2002 04:07:00 a.m. Brent phoned me some time in the night to say that him and his friends had taken a portion of fence from our back yard fence so that we could take out the trailer. Our intentions were that he do it when we were there so we could take the trailer out right away and put it back. The dog was beside himself all night trying to get in the back yard but we couldn't put him out because it wasn't safe. James and I did it at 6am in the morning and the metal had already swelled with the heat of the day so it was really difficult. We talked to Brent about making commitments, such as getting a job or having one and calling in sick. He is a good worker when he is there but he ends up letting his employer down by calling in sick. Marita pointed out that he has to assure them that he is serious about staying at the job if they recommend him and not be fair weather. We told him that this was the last time we would be buying clothes for him, he was 18 and had to do it on his own. Brent basically agreed on everything we brought up so there was not much to talk about after that. I hope he turns everything around. He is waiting to hear from the school to see if he has to go to summer school. Brent got 48% and a lot of times they boost the mark to 50% so you don't have to go to summer school. Derrick got off early from work this afternoon, called Nadia over for a swim for the evening. She will be pleased because he works a lot and 6 days a week. Brent hung out with Josh today after he helped reattach the boards that fell off the fence when he took a portion of it down. Stacy went to a soccer game with Jessie and dinner for the evening with Mario's family. She really enjoyed herself. April phoned from Quebec and it was very upsetting to hear that her teacher is at it again, making their life miserable. She is riding the kids so bad that they are not having a good time and they want to come home. She has especially been after Erin with the clothes she is wearing and has threatened to put some of her own clothes on the girls. She has taken away their visitation rights and they are all confined to their rooms when they get back to the hotel for the rest of the trip. I am so upset about this. What a controlling bitch. She did just what I told the principal she does; she misbehaves and is not a good representative of our school. Annie at 6/26/2002 03:51:00 a.m. April went to Quebec today. There were some mom's crying when the bus left on the one side of the bus. On the other they were hooping and hollering. Me? I'll never tell! But we did go for tea to Timmy's afterwards Caesar went for a needle again today. I forgot about the heartworm and flea stuff so I gave it to him today. Brent was out with Christie and Serina shopping for clothes today. It is hard to tell a buddy that you think his girlfriend is cheating on him but Brent gave it a shot. He mentioned that Brandon Alexio's friends were talking about that Kevin guy being with Serina but he prefers to believe Serina. Even Brandon's mom is sure that there is something going on. Nadia phoned Becky from baseball, the girl who hit her, to try to quash the rumours of them not liking each other which is good, shut it down before any damage is done. Everyone is talking about Nadia's injury last game. A lot of people heard that she got hit in the face. When we got home Stacy wasn't feeling good and she was kind of rocking. She was pretty quiet and then couldn't sleep. I hope she is all right. Annie at 6/25/2002 03:40:00 a.m. We had to get up at 5am to go for April's baseball. Unfortunately I was up at 4am because that is what time Brent and Brandon Alexio stumbled in. I hate waiting for all my kids to get home safe and Brent doesn't see why I should but it is in me, I just can't let go yet. He thinks that 18 is old enough to look out for himself but I don't see it that way. I think I would worry at any age because he is still at home so he is my responsibility, and my son. Also April had left the TV on and it was off the station so you could hear it throughout the house April's team played like champions every game and didn't lose one game, had the same record as another team, 2 win's one tie but we played the bronze because of run differentials and we won it with the tying run on third and two out with April coming up to bat. She had not had a good at bat all day. She did it! Big Al told her to go back to her regular way of batting and she brought the runs in to win!!! No one was home when we got home. Stacy is at the movies with Jessie. This time I am sure that they went. Last month they said that they went to a movie but she was sketchy about what the movie was and I never saw the ticket stub- she always keeps them on the board. Nadia had Derrick, Natasha and John to Gramma's pool for the afternoon. Annie at 6/24/2002 04:32:00 a.m. Nadia had her ball tourney and the umps were terrible calling strikes above the chin line. Nadia pitched really well in the rain, she is a specialists in the bad weather. Monica went to Cory's Lacrosse and we couldn't find anyone to take her to her track meet so we missed Nadia's last game. We had lunch in the local Greek restaurant, it was dirty gross and we won't be back. Monica's relay team came in 2nd, in first place the whole race until they were passed at the last minute. Monica was supposed to be anchor because she has been running so well and was the only fresh kid there but Holly insisted that they change the order so Colleen buckled under. She shouldn't have because Holly didn't have any reserve left in her to keep the lead that we had all race. Colleen wants so much for Holly to run but she shouldn't cave in to her, she is the coach she knows best or at least she should know. April is having people over but they have to leave soon, she has a big day tomorrow. Jessie got his new car today a older Chevy Z24 I think. Nice, we saw it after his lacrosse game finals where they placed 2nd. Stacy and Jessie had words because he was going to go out with Shane on what would have been a double date, but he doesn't see it that way. He sees it as helping out a friend who is too shy to be with the girl on their first date. After they argued he went with Stacy and Amy after all. I don't know why but I get the feeling I can't shake, that he is going out with the boys after Stacy comes home and probably won't tell her. It is just the way he was talking with his mom about what time he was coming home and whether he was going to be drinking, and I heard Booty's name. I think his affection for my daughter was damaged while she was sick and out of his life for these past couple of weeks. Even when he was showing off his new car, it was Mario that he asked to sit first in the car, his parents actually made fun of him for not asking Stacy to get in. Something has changed. When cars enter the picture it is usually very hard on the girlfriend/boyfriend stuff because the guys all want their buddy to drive them everywhere. Maybe that is why Shane wanted Jessie to come on the date with him. Anyway I remember Adam stating that he was not going to be a taxi for his friends and if he was going somewhere anyway then he would drive them but he would never wait for them. I thought it was rough talk at the time, because I was always waiting and driving Brent and Adam around but I can see his perspective. (See Jan 8/01) I hope Jessie doesn't get taken advantage of by his friends with the car. Annie at 6/23/2002 04:24:00 a.m. Nadia's leg didn't bruise, it is still red with a white spot in the middle. She is going to the tourney, her presence is required, as they only have 9 players there. Some people actually phoned the school to complain about Mark's graduation party last night, it was too loud??? They suggested that graduation be held on the weekend! Right. Party poopers. April went to school, she was one of the few. I went there to help Monica home with all her bags from the forest trip but while I got talking with one of the teachers Miss Independent left without me. Monica is overtired, should go for a nap but wanted to go to the last preteen dance instead. I took Brent to school to find his English teacher to get his 48% raised to 50 but still can't locate him. I was talking with two of the teachers there (at first about Stacy) and I told them about Brent situation. They said that it depended if Brent was a problem at school. He was a skipper so I don't know if they will change it to a passing grade. I sure am not going to plead his case. He earned that mark, was given more than enough chances so whatever happens, happens. April partied hardy all day They had a pool party and another party in the evening and had Chelsea sleep over, all in the name of graduation! Tasha invited Chelsea and April to a sleepover in her backyard because April invented a game and they were going to play it there. Instead she un-invited April and Chelsea to invite other people, nice girl. Sounds like she is trying to control everyone. Stacy is getting really board being housebound, she's got cabin fever. Brent spent some time at the town Carnival tonight and Nadia is spending the night with baseball friends for the tourney a couple of hours drive from here. Annie at 6/22/2002 04:33:00 a.m. Brent and his friends kept us up for hours last night coming and going our the front door. It ended up that only Doober stayed. (Best laid plans). Stacy had a rough night, she is in more pain in the evening and last night she had such a difficult time breathing. Nadia left her bedroom around 2:30 because Stacy was keeping her up even though I asked her to stay so she could keep an eye on my baby. Apparently Stacy was calling for her later. Stacy went to Jessie's this afternoon, the first time she has been alone from family in a while. She was going to go to Coral's house to sunbath but when I passed there house earlier in the day, they were getting there roof fixed and it made me laugh to imagine them sunning themselves when there would be all those construction guys on the roof being distracted by them. This is graduation day for April and something so nice happened that it brought tears to my eyes. Lauren, her estranged childhood friend, dropped over this afternoon to wish April good luck. They were such close friends until the school split in two. Lauren's hair was already done, April's in the process and it was a wonderful moment when they hugged. Lauren is the Valedictorian for her school, which is quite a fete considering all the gifted kids at the new school. Erica, a neighbour in hairdressing school, did an excellent job on April's hair. After April was invited to have her makeup done by Lauren's mom Carol in keeping with the tradition of Carol doing all my girls makeup for there special occasions. April ricocheted all over her graduation making it almost impossible to get any pictures of her. People enjoyed the video I made, and a lot of people needed Kleenex and want copies. The had dinner at a restaurant and April, always the peace keeper, purposely sat with Josh B because he looked alone. They had such a good time, they were the noisiest table. They didn't have a dance at graduation because they don't feel that there is enough kids so from now one they will be taking them out for dinner instead. After they went to Mark's house for a pool party. She phoned and left messages because we were out and even said I love you guys! Every graduation kid gave their parents a letter, to tell them how much they meant to them. Many parents were in tears, we however laughed at April's, it was classic April. Dear Mom and Dad I can't believe I'm nearly done grade eight. It seems like almost yesterday I was waiting for Nadia, Brent and Stacy to come home from school to play. I remember when Nadia graduated, she was pretty. Then there was Brent. He looked very handsome, well for him! Oh yeah, who could forget Stacy. I wish I could fit in her dress! She was lucky. She had a date! Well who cares. I know I won't!! But I'll live. I'm not looking forward to school ending. I don't want to lose my grade 7 friends. I'll miss them too much! But I'll have John H. next year. That is something to look forward to right? Well that's all, thanks for always driving me places and making me food. Also thanks for everything you guys so for me. Maybe I don't show it but I do appreciated it. So I love you guys very much! Love, Always and Forever, April Edwards. I have to get rid of this protective feeling about Stacy, I noticed that even when she is on the phone, I feel I need to hover over her to help her but she is handling herself quite well. I just have to relearn that she will be needing her independence again. Stacy was with me the whole time and when she referred to herself as my shadow I realized just how much we have been together the last 2 weeks. While I was driving Stacy to Jessie's Lacrosse game we got a distress phone call. Nadia had been hit in her baseball game by a line drive delivered by the clean up batter. She went down hard and had to go to the hospital. Nadia said that Derrick kept his distance from her when she was on the ground because she was trying to push people away. What they didn't realize is that Julie was creating new pain by leaning on her knee when she was trying to help Nadia. I went to the hospital after to check on Nadia and I actually left Stacy in the car driving around the hospital. I forgot that that she only has her g1. They had left the hospital before the nurse could put the 'immobiliser' on her knee and the nurse was quite annoyed. Nadia is determined to be all right for baseball this weekend. Annie at 6/21/2002 04:13:00 a.m. Brent refused get up until after 8 even though he had an 8:30 exam and he actually got mad at me for me getting frustrated with him. I shouldn't be his bloody alarms but he has me trained. I just know that he would sleep through anything, no matter how important, he doesn't give a crap when he is alseep. I calmed myself down by paying a visit to my barber. He is instant soothing therapy. Mario trimmed my bangs for me today because I tried to do them myself and messed up. Monica went to the Forest with her class today. When it was time to board the bus she steered clear of me for fear I might try to hug her or something but other kids were hugging there mom's. Oh well, part of growing up, I guess. I should br used to it, with her being my youngest but it still hurts the first couple of times they reject you in their attempts at growing up. The principal viewed the video today and loved it! I bought some clothes for Stacy today. Coral and Amy visited her again today. I enjoy their company too. James and I went to Tuckers for supper. We don't get to see enough of each other lately. It has been so stressful for us this month but at least we always have each other. Brent was going to sleep over at Serina's with a bunch of people but her dad got mad even though her mom said it was ok (sound familiar?) Anyway the boys ended up here for the night without the girls thankfully. Brent is in an extremely bad mood today because his computer course at school didn't go the way it should. It was a rinky dink course that he has been sailing through, just the kind of course I encouraged him to take all through high school. Someone wiped out his main project on the computer, and the teacher had no compassion about it at all. I think the teacher would have been more sympathetic towards his problem if he had been in class more. It is too bad though, he was so excited about his project in the beginning. Annie at 6/20/2002 04:53:00 a.m. We handed Stacy's independent studies in today. I hope I found enough of her work to warrant the mark I know she desearves. Brent didn't go to his exam yesterday, he talked to the school about it but never said anything to me why. He was to have it today but Adam put a virus on the school's computers. Everyone thought it was a big huge joke until they realized that it put off their exams and he couldn't take his computer exam that he ws so ready to have. He complained that he wishes Adam didn't do it because now he has to do it first thing tomorrow morning and he has 2 right in a row. Jessie and Hannah came to see Stacy today. Jessie is still very tired from his all nighter on the weekend,a party he was at, and all his hockey bruises. It' bothers me that he seems to have no curfew when he is not with Stacy. I guess his parents are tyring to put a distance between them. Maybe I am being in the protecting mode for Stacy but I expected more out of a guy that tells me how much he cares for my daughter than for him to party till he passes out while she is so dreadfully sick. We went to Mark's and he said Stacy shouldn't play baseball this season, it will probably take all season for her injury to heal properly. We told her that we were cancelling her next tournament and we will see after 2 weeks what she is like. I took April to buy some clothes for her Quebec trip. She is not good at shopping, panics when the tight clothes that she would love to wear don't look good on her and refuses to wear the baggier clothes. I enjoyed her company, she is always a breath of fresh air. I finished the graduation videotape for the school and then 2 kids brought me their school pictures so I redid it. I told the class that I could only put their pictures on in groups of three so they pressured each other into producing their early grade pictures. The kids really wanted their pictures on there! Stacy is back to her normal self, she just has the pain but it isn't as bad. The doctor says she shouldn't play baseball for the season and she is mad about it. We told her to take a couple weeks off, see how se feels, miss a couple of tourneys and then make the decision. Monica is going to a Forest excursion for three days and April graduates the day after tomorrow and then has to get ready for her Quebec trip so I have to get some things under control here. Annie at 6/19/2002 03:40:00 a.m. Brent came home late from Adam's and then was on the phone for a couple of hours with Christie. Doober has been going out with Jen M., she went with him to the prom and after party. She had been a virgin but they had sex at the after prom party at Steve's cottage. Then James went to another school's Prom and had sex with some strange girl that night. Jen was devastated when she found out about it and hasn't spoken to him since. Even his friends are calling him scrum. The poor girl, people always try to warn girls about guys like that, and we know him well. Stacy and I talked when I went to check on her this morning. I asked if she were aware of her not acting age appropriate or if it was just when we pointed it out. She says she thinks she is doing all right and then she becomes conscious that she is talking in a higher pitched voice and realizes she is sounding like a kid. I found her History ISU on my computer by searching for a sentence from her rough draft because she had no title. So I will hand that into the school so they can justify her marks. I could hear her talking to Nadia about her schoolwork in the next room and you could hear her talking more clearly with each sentence! YES!!! We went to a paediatrician and he really helped us to have an understanding of what is happening. He was with Stacy for almost two hours! When he realized how she might have got her injury, he talked about the drive behind why she tried to do everything to perfection. She has to not take life so seriously all the time, to relax and enjoy. He said she should try something that she really sucks at and accept that and be happy with it ! He thinks that she might have ripped a cartilage over her heart and said that it can be very painful. At least he thinks that she had an injury, which I think others thought it was in her head. But he is saying that she got the injury because of all the pressure she puts on herself. He was shocked to learn that she regularly exercises with at least 500 crunches push up... I think that he is more on target than anyone else so far. He talked to us about her seeing physiatrist if this happens again or if we can see she is not handling things well. I know that she is a perfectionist but it has always been a part of her and she always tries to do what is expected of a good person. Nadia does too but they both have different approaches. They are both delightful by anyone's standards and I don't want to change them for a minute. But if being like that is going to hurt her… I want her to feel positive, I want her to think that we think that she can handle herself, she can, I know she can. I can see now why there was a problem between Braden and April. A bunch of April's friends, and I do use the term loosely, wrote Braden a note. On it some of them said things like Hey Braden April Loves you Love Tasha Hey Braden Have a great summer. See ya later. April loves you, I don't know how she's surviving 4 days without you. From Steph No wonder Braden said that he doesn't like April, the poor guy is only in grade 7 and they are hounding him about April. I wish April wouldn't tell people when she likes a guy. Annie at 6/18/2002 04:25:00 a.m. We woke up this morning to find Brent absent from his bed and so was his mattress. It turns out that Nadia heard a bunch of kids come in about 4am. We checked the hall and there are about 5 pairs of extra shoes at our front door. One of them is small enough to be a girl so we think that he pulled the bed apart so she could sleep in comfort! We saw later that it Brent who opted for the comfort of the matteress. Serina, Christie and a guy I don't know and were there too. Serina hasn't been here for more than 2 years when I spazzed out on her for letting the guys grop her. Christie and Brent went out later for McDees. Stacy wishfully thought that she could go back to work but when I asked her what she would say or how she would conduct the class she couldn't even begin to know what to do. I thought that maybe trying to work might help but she doesn't have the concentration yet. I phoned Cutie Pie Jamie to take her shift at work. We were talking with a group of neighbours when all of a sudden Marita blurted out a muffled scream that sounded like "Annie." She stood frozen in one spot with a seizure. When we realized that she couldn't move we yelled for Dave. We thought he was going to lift her up and take her home but he just held her wrapped up in the comfort of his arms and eventually it subsided. It is hard to know wheat to do or say but she is witht he people who love her. I hope she isn't embarrassed about having one in front of us. I urged Stacy to go on the Internet on ICQ to talk to her friends. Jake was on with me so I called Stacy and said that Jake wanted to talk with her. She is still in the juvenile frame of mind. Her first reaction was "ok, but I'll do it later because I am colouring and if I leave it Monica will finish the colouring without me". I had to get Monica away from the book so Stacy would come with me. Monica didn't have an interest in colouring, she was just watching over her. Went to the Kegs's for lunch. While we think that Stacy is getting better each passing day, our neighbours are shocked about how little she is like herself so as good as we think she is improving other people can't see it. Great. Jessie and his mom Hannah came over to visit Stacy. He has a lot of aches and pains from Hockey. Stacy got a headache when Jessie was here so he gave her some Tylenol, which she is trying incredibly hard not to take. Hannah said that Jessie is finding this awfully difficult and upsetting to see Stacy in this condition, he was talking to Mario about it. I can understand how he feels. Hannah said that is why he hasn't been around as much as he should. I think it is upsetting for everyone to see her like this but he should make more of a presence, even if it is to come over for a couple of minutes, she has little concept of time right now so a small visit is better than a few. Even when he comes it is usually with his mom so they really don't get to talk alone, he is just looking at her. How easy a relationship can change, get off track when one of them gets hurt. He can't empathize with her, he can only see how it is affecting him. Annie at 6/17/2002 04:09:00 a.m. Girls Novice Softball tournament and it poured rain again and it pushed back all the timing. They lost all their games but two were not by much. They had bases loaded none out and the batter tried to run on strike three, which prompted everyone on base to run and they all got out triple play. Charlie, one of April's coaches told her not to try to be like Nadia and throw the ball so hard. I wish he hadn't of compared her to Nadia. Because of that we had to tell her that when Nadia was in Novice her pitching wasn't consistent. I don't want people comparing April to anyone. She has spent years being compared to her younger sister Monica. I offered April pitching lessons, which she turned down. James had to run a softball practice while April's first game was on. We missed each other during the rain delay so I took Stacy and April to McDonalds but it cleared up by 12:00. James went home after April's second game, didn't feel well. He tells me when he doesn't feel well but with everyone else he says he has no symptoms. I haven't been seeing very much of him lately and even when he was at the diamond he sat somewhere else. The way he denies his illness to everyone is bothering me. I don't like being isolated from him either, it almost makes me feel guilty about being upset this way when he is the one that is sick. I tried to get Stacy to Jessie's hockey for 4:20 but when I got home she was taking a shower. Apparently she was ready, waiting for me on the stairs at 3:30 and she forgot what she was there for, went to brush her hair and somehow got toothpaste in her hair so she showered. I was upset because they let her take a shower after she had got ready for me to take her to Jessie's game. They should have watched her better and helped her with the toothpaste instead of letting her take a shower. She really wanted to go to Jessie's game and when she got dressed again she said, "OK lets go to the game" but it was too late. She doesn't seem to have any concept of time right now and it is frustrating for me to see because she has always been so organized. I took her to his 8:40 game but the pain had increased. I gave her Tylenol before we went to his game but they did nothing. She hasn't had any medication since yesterday morning. She was very quiet and you could tell she was in discomfort. She can't stop holding her chest. Nadia went out to dinner for Dianne's birthday where she met her friend Marco, an out of town Internet friend. They came back to our house later and no one had a good impression of him, and Caesar was terrified of him. James met him and didn't get the warm fuzzies either. Monica was out with Holly for the afternoon and evening. April went to Daniel birthday at Boston Pizza. Annie at 6/16/2002 03:23:00 a.m. Well today another of Stacy's elementary school teachers urged us to take Stacy to Sick Kids so I phoned my brother and he got me an appointment with a specialist for Monday. He told us to take her off the anti-inflammatory in case that is what is bothering her too. Mark and the other doctor are saying that they assume, seeing a girl in the condition Stacy is in, that maybe she suffered some kind of trauma before to make her act this way. I know my daughter, we talk all the time and she hasn't been out of a supervised environment for anything bad to have happened to her and I know for a fact she doesn't take drugs. She is a fitness instructor and works alot and takes pride of her fitness and drugs is not a part of her lifestyle. I am sure it is because she is allergic to the caffeine in the painkillers. I am too and so is my mom. They gave me medicine once and it took along time to get it out of my system so that is why I think it has been so hard on her. It is agonizing for me to think that the doctors, even my brother, think that she might be having problems dealing with something emotionally but I have to see it as a possibility. She should not be having any problems with her mind at this stage because she is finished with the painkillers. Am I grasping for straws when I say it is because of the caffeine because it takes a long time to get it out my system? Was dealing with the Jessie problems too much for her to handle? I thought that the talking she was doing about it, was really good for her and helping her cope but was it? Is she putting too much pressure on herself at school? I wish I knew the answers. The fact that she had chest pains when James was in the hospital last December and she had Jessie blow it for prom might show she has problems dealing with conflict. Can she not handle some of the stress? I know I lose weight and can't sleep so I probably do not handle it well either. We took Stacy out for brunch. She actually had her first conversation today! She told us how she remembered one of her teachers telling her about how hard it was to get off morphine when he was in a car accident and how they tried to get him off the medicine. She said it helped her to understand what we were trying to do with the medicine and helped her with the decision to get off of it. James and I talked to Stacy about the changes in her behaviour and she tried all day to prove us wrong. She was determined to tackle math problems and would say, "see I can do this" but then something would catch her attention and she would forget that she was trying to prove to us that she was being normal. She cried when she thought of people laughing at her and I was happy to see her like this because I kept thinking that when she was back to being herself this would devastate her and embarrass her. She cried for about 15 seconds and then shut them off so fast as she asked Nadia if she wanted a candy. She also was trying to go out to school or out with her friends and said, "I want to go out and play". When she realized that she sounded like a kid, she added the word "chill". At least she still has her sense of humour. April's feelings were really hurt by Braden last night. He said some mean things about her while on his Niagara Falls trip and a bunch of kids relayed it back to her. Unfortunately nobody but family knows how much he talks to her on the phone, and is with her. She is avoiding him which is good and hopefully she won't give him the time of day for a long time because he is being a two faced jerk. I took Stacy to Jessie's hockey game. She was quiet but she did fine, she rated her pain about a 6. Vicky an neighbourhood was with us and her son Andrew has been sick, some kind of liver problems for the last 18 months. Monica was at the twins tonight. These boys seem to have problems interacting with the other kids in the class so I hope she is all right with them. I know their mother loves to have Monica over and spends most of her time talking with her. Annie at 6/15/2002 03:46:00 a.m. I received a phone call from a extremely concerned Teacher from Monica's school. The teachers who taught Stacy in elementary school are very concerned about Stacy after the baseball coach saw her yesterday. He suggested that I have Stacy examined at Sick Kids Hospital. I took Stacy to her Dr. this morning and he had more tests done. Her repetitive rambling frightens me, I want them to stop and I want the doctors to recognize her problems. I don't want the medicine to mask whatever else is going on with her. Stacy told him 5 different times how many needles they have given her and he did notice how she is not acting like herself even though she still has her long term memory. Although she is a tiny bit better every day she has the disposition of a 7 year old right now, and it is breaking my heart. My eyes feel like I have cried for days. It is just hard to see her like this never mind the pain part of it. Went to see Stacy's principal about the exams she will be missing. Since she has always been an honour student her good marks hopefully will remain the same. Monica got into a fight with the grade 8 tough girl who dresses so tarty. She told Monica that she could beat her up and then she started to push Monica around. When it got too much, Monica flipped her to the ground and told her that she shouldn't fight with earrings on, they might rip out. The girl put her huge hoops up around her ears as if to protect them but Monica quickly popped one out. The girl called a truce but as soon as they were both on their feet the toughie kept trying to kick her but missed because Monica is just that fast. At this point Monica motioned that she was going to level her again and when she started to run after her she was pleased to see the toughie screaming. She probably realized at that point how ridiculous it was to try and beat up the track and wrestling star of the school even if Monica is two grades younger. Monica pushed her to the ground and it ended when Holly started to say how she could take another girl on. I had to tell Monica how girls like that can fight with no rules so she should be careful. She has to try to learn to handle those kind of problems, hopefully without fighting. Jessie came to visit and his mom came later. We took Stacy to Mario to get her hair trimmed, they drove her there while I went to the bank. She looked confused as she sat in their back seat because she couldn't remember why I wasn't coming with her right away. This is so hard to handle. She is slowly improving but her distracted thoughts and immature behaviour is really bothering me. Monica played softball tonight, her pitching coach was there to critique Monica and Sheena. Nadia played later in the evening. Nadia brought in the winning run. Icq messenger Jessie C. -how is Stacy feeling????????????????????????wow I'm scared...............Jake told me about when he went to see her. Is she like going to be o.k. soon ??? i hope she'll be aright well send her my love plz and tell her to get better! cuz i want to her bath robe :o) she'll know what i mean Jake - hi mrs Edwards Annie - How are you Jay? Jake - i'm good how are u Annie - It is getting hard to understand why this is happening but Stacy is dealing with it ok. I hope it wasn't hard for you to see her but she really thinks alot of you Jake - yeah it's definitely not easy. it was different, but it'll never be hard, I’m always gonna be here when she needs me. Annie - she really needs to use her brain right now, her memory is there but things are hard for her. She won't be at school for the rest of grade 11, no exams. Jake - yeah I wouldn't think she'd be able to do her exams it would be way to difficult. I'd love to stop by to see her again soon. I'm never really busy anymore Annie - anytime, she has mentioned off and on that you two try to get together so it would be good.I am trying to take her out alot to take her mind off of everything. I hope you don't mind me asking but people have been telling me that something similar happened to your friend. Jake - honestly I don't know, see I only met her last summer and just became close at the beginning of this year. if u want I'd be more then happy to take Stace out Annie -That would be great. I am taking her to a hockey game tomorrow so I hope that goes ok. I have to go so I'll talk to you later Jake - ok bye Mrs. Edwards tell trace I say hi Annie at 6/14/2002 02:52:00 a.m. Brent didn't go to school today, he is getting a cold. Our school baseball team advanced to the final nine teams in baseball. We came in 6th out of 48 schools so considering we had grade 6 kids we did excellent (our grade 6 kids were very strong). We played one teams that wore their pants so low they could barely run to get the ball or run the bases, it looks so stupid. Stacy came for one game and the coach who knew Stacy so well noticed that she is not ready for school and he looked very worried for her. James took Stacy to the heart specialist and the doctor says he wants to be informed of her condition but it is not her heart. Stacy rated her pain an 8 out of ten, considering she was a ten when it first started, which is what James, and I thought it was too. I want my Stacy back, please hurry and get well baby. She is organizing the shoes in the front hall like she used to when she was a small child so I am recognizing things she did when she was little. I hope this means she is improving. When people phone her I have to stay right there with her because she forgets she is on the phone or forgets to answer so I prompt her. Nadia saw Derrick tonight. I hope she really relaxes with him, she needs to unwind. Nadia has taken on a lot of responsibility helping with Stacy, she would be doing it even if we didn't ask, that is how upset Nadia is about her sister. She even cancelled her driving lessons to be with her sister. I am glad Nadia got the driving instructor she got because he is understanding and is giving her extra time for driving instruction. I am sure Nadia couldn't concentrate on driving with her sick little sister always on her mind! Annie at 6/13/2002 03:55:00 a.m. There was a school baseball tournament represented by our grad six's and the grade 8's. They played really well, and won 3 out of 4 games. Monica got the winning run in the last game allowing them to go back to the tournament tomorrow. This is quite a feat considering that we have to have the youngerst team in the tournament with the grade six's as it is usually only grade 7 adn 8's. The last time the school went this far, Stacy was on the team. I was out a lot today and when I came home there was a bouquet of flowers beside Stacy. I guessed that they were from Jake, just his style. Stacy had many visitors today. Jake, Jessie and Hannah, Jodi and Sandra, Amy, Coral and Melissa. Gramma bought some groceries and made some potato salad and generally helped out here. Nadia frazzled, broke down and cried tonight and was so upset about Stacy. She has been helping to take care of Stacy while James and I both try to fulfill our other kids needs. Nadia can't bare watching Stacy in the state she is in. Right now Stacy is more like a two year old than a teenager. She has no attention span what so ever. She gets off track, even when she has an urgent bathroom call, she gets interested in something else or forgets what she is doing or falls in the bathroom. Trying to get her to eat is a real task. Stacy is totally distracted every few seconds you have to physically put your hands on her to get her to remember to eat to and you have to constantly remind her of what she is doing. She looks under the table, puts her head under the table, and she keep banging her head on the table and she can't understand why she can't sit up. She cannot sit still for any amount of time, which is so frustrating to watch. And she's been talking incessantly now, like a kid and laughs at childish things. She asks James and I to read Readers digest to her, which she usually finds very amusing and when we finish, she doesn't even know why we stopped, she can't find the humour in it at all. She needs you to watch what she watches - Disney movies? She talks about things that happened long ago which is good because at least we know she has her memory. It is her concentration and her immaturity that worries us. I hope this goes away soon. Annie at 6/12/2002 03:47:00 a.m. Stacy slept beyond her medication again today so as long as I can stimulate her during the day it looks like I can keep the medicine to a minimum at night. During the day she is in fear of the pain. Yesterday the doctor instructed us to give it to her before she feels pain and that means that it would be even before the fours hour are up and I pointed that out to him. I don't like giving her that much. I am trying to get her off it. I can't listen to what he said, it goes against everything I believe. I phoned Mark this morning and he managed to get an appointment with a heart specialist, a favour. I was absolutely terrified there. I guess he was working on someone else's file while he was with us, he was writing on a chart after he did an echo cardiogram and then he said that he knew what would cause the pain and then said open-heart surgery. He asked us to go back to the waiting room where my imagination went wild. All I could think of was how young Stacy was and the scar that would be on her chest and how her life would change, everything she dreamed of would not be happening, even the silly trivial things like how it would affect her and Jessie (he is not around as much as I thought he would be). I know everything that I was thinking was short sighted but you can't think all the proper thoughts at a time like this. When we got to see him again, about an hour later he said that she had a loud murmur but it was because she was an athlete and it would go away on it's own. He wants to see her on Wednesday without the drugs. Monica and April both had a softball game tonight so I brought Stacy with me so I can keep her alert and stimulated. I am trying to make her focus on her surroundings rathr than the pain. Hopefully she will sleep more soundly and not give in to the drug. Stacy is all smiles, to people who try to talk to her but she can't say much of anything, just shakes. She isn't really conversing, just responding to people's questions and sometimes only after I have reminded her that someone has asked her something and then it is only one or two word responses. People are appauld at her appearance. Monica was angry about being out in field and told Joe to bench her. He let Sheena pitch the whole game. Sheena went through this last game so I guess they are both feeling the same thing. They are both really good and they are both very much needed on the team but they both have to play where they are put and not complain. I feel desperate about Stacy, I am terrified about the drugs. I took Stacy to Mark's unannounced, and he managed to convince her to try it without the perkocet. He didn't like the way she was looking either, thought that she was over medicated too. She came home and went to bed an hour before she was supposed to take it. I hope she can do it. We were going to reduce the dosage to gradually take get her off it because of the pain involved, but she is insistent that she doesn't want to take it anymore. So therefore she still has her strong will. I am so drained. April made Braden a cd for his trip to Niagara Falls. Annie at 6/11/2002 03:26:00 a.m. Stacy took her painkillers in the night but managed to sleep beyond the four hours past her medication, which I was happy to see. We took her to the Doctors unmediated but his nurse couldn't stand to see her in that kind of pain so she broke one of the pills in two and gave it to her. The doctor didn't really see her the way we wanted him too but he sent her back to the hospital for more tests so we were there most of the day. Because it was only half a pill it didn't last long so we arrived at the hospital just as her medication was wearing out and it really seemed to bother the new doctor that we didn't have her medicated. He doesn't want her to feel any pain even if it means giving her the medicine before the four hours. This is really scaring me, I want her to be all better, she is always a good person and this shouldn't be happening to her. The stone was kind of funny for a very short while but I want my Stacy back, my bright sweet girl. I hate to see her shaking and moving her hands as if she is doing sign language all the time. The doctors seem to be looking at it that she shouldn't be in any pain and as I see it she is being over medicated but our concerns fall on deaf ears. Steven took April to her baseball today for us and they had a picnic later. James and I were too whacked out and we had to watch Stacy. Amy came to be with Stacy for a couple of hours again- god bless her. I took Stacy over to Marita's for a change of scenery for her to keep her occupied. The dog came with us and Caesar jumped in their pool! I hope he didn't ruin their liner. He scratched Jeff's chest trying to dog paddle himself to safety. Nadia’s long planned present to Natasha was a success. She was worried about her parents seeing the condom so she stuffed it in the lion's head. It was a Romantic Night in a Box and in it was a fake lion rug, alcohol, wine glasses and wooden massager, a cd with love songs and candles. Annie at 6/10/2002 03:14:00 a.m. Jessie stayed with Stacy for three hours, but unfortunately Stacy thinks of it as only a few minutes. Stacy was telling Jessie that I lied about what time I gave her the medicine this morning. I didn't lie rather I told her I wanted her to take it fifteen minutes later. Monica's softball tournament was successful, they won all of the games for gold. Monica was very strong and pitched great, the other teams didn't stand a chance. I went back and forth from the baseball to home to take care of Stacy. She needs constant care; like a toddler, she is so distracted she can't keep on track for any reason and she will wander off when something else gets in her view. My poor Stacy, I am so worried, she can't even think straight. This is really scaring me. Stacy doesn't seem to be handling the medicine very well, she seems too stoned and it is worrying me. Christian, Coral, Melissa and Paul stayed with her all evening. I told her to go to sleep even though I knew she would need more medicine in an hour. I told her to try to sleep past the time even though it hurt. Even in this condition, she still always tries to do what I ask of her. April had her friends over and ordered pizza which annoyed me because they were suppose to go to a party where they were to eat. I bet April paid for the whole thing again. Nadia was annoyed with her for that too but I think Nadia is tense because she has been with Stacy a lot and it is so hard seeing Stacy in this state. Monica went to a birthday party and one of the twins squared Cody from behind so that was the end of the party. Annie at 6/09/2002 04:28:00 a.m. Stacy had a real tough time last night. She was throwing up, dizzy, shaking and in a lot of pain, and when she wasn't in pain, she was stoned out of her mind. She called for Brent in the night but Brent fell asleep at the post. Haha, I know how worried he is about her and I guess when you think you have to stay awake it makes it impossible to do so. I heard her anyway. I think that 2 perkocet are too much for her slight body. She doesn't have much body fat on her, at the rec center they said she her body fat was too low. So I phoned Mark in the afternoon and he told me to give her 1 instead. Thank god I have a doctor for a brother, anything he can do to help any assurances, he is there for us. I had to make a deal with Stacy that I would give her 2 later. I think that she is already dependant on them because she knows it will take away the pain. She is continually rocking or shaking and she is a zombie. I made the kids pancakes in the mid morning (Stacy needs to eat food with one of the medicines) and she looked over at Brent's plate and let out a horrified scream. She insisted that there was a bee on Brent's pancake. Nadia tried to convince her that there was no bee and she looked at us as is we were all nuts. As Brent poured the syrup on the pancakes she started to laugh and said, "Now the bee can't fly!" She was grossed out as Brent ate the pancakes because she was sure that he had eaten the bee. She is hallucinating badly. We have to keep her away from the dog because she is being so rough with him. She thought that because he pawed her she could punch him and she puts him in headlocks and is loving him to death. It is hard to believe people actually pay to get this stoned but we can't stand seeing her like this. She won't like this at all when she comes down from the drugs, I know her. Jessie, Hannah and Sarah came over after school to visit her and she was in between medication because I wanted them to see her more alert. We finally had to give her the medication, which works so fast. I feel so bad for her, she is so antsy, and she can't sit still, rocks all the time. Adam talked to her for a while and he was shocked when, about five minutes into the conversation, she looked at him as if she had seen him for the first time and then said, "Adam, Hi!" She is right out of it. He had been enjoying her stone until that point at which he basically looked as if to say, wooo dude, I'm out of here! April babysat all day. It was a P.A. day for April and Monica. April went out with her friends in the evening and came home right on time. For pure shcok value April told me of a card game that they are playing called 'Suck and Blow'. Yes, sounds pretty risky but it is but not in that way. You put a card up to your lips and suck in your breath so that the card sticks to your mouth. Then someone of the opposite sex moves in close to you and as you blow out your air they suck in their air so that the card is transferred to your lips. If it doesn't work right the card falls away and your lips touch there's. I guess it is this generation's replacement of spin the bottle! ICQ messenger Annie - Hi Jessie, I can come and get you at about 10:05 tomorrow morning. I hope that is all right with you Jessie - That's fine but I will have to be back at my house by like 1:15 if u get this. U can give me a call tomorrow morning when you are leaving or before just to make sure I am up. I should be up I don't see why not... I need to know what I have to do for Stacy and stuff about her medicine... Bye We tried to lengthen the time for Stacy to take the perkocet in the evening, but she started calling for it 20 minutes before she should have it. She made such a fuss that she ended up getting it only one minute later than the four hours. Poor Stacy, and Nadia was beside herself because she was the one trying to get her to hold off. Annie at 6/08/2002 04:02:00 a.m. We have to split up our family responsibilities, trying to be supportive of Monica's efforts today and nursing our poor Stacy back to good health. But we are a big family and we divided ourselves to where each person needed to be today. We got a call at 7 in the morning to have Stacy down to Upper ground F wing Nuclear medicine for tests to make sure she doesn't have a blood clot. James and Gramma went with Stacy because I had to drive the school track team to the Track finals. Stacy came home after a long time at the hospital (they had to go through emergency again after the tests) and threw up the medicine a couple of times and throughout the night. This perkocet, 2 every four hours, is really strong and it is making her itch all over, shake and it is hurting her stomach. She is completely out of it. She is so sick. Monica got a t-shirt for setting the long distance hurdle record. Monica won the short distance hurdles. Unfortunately there was controversy over the short distance hurdles with, of all people, Holly. Colleen is saying Holly was first. The judges disagree and say Monica placed first. They video reviewed the race 5 times so they have to be right. It put a downer on the win for Monica, to have your best friends mom so mad that she can't bare to look at you. Monica came from behind won it even though she was jumping on the wrong leg for the entire race! Monica placed second for the 800m race at a time of 2:39. Monica trailed on her rival's heels, right behind her, so it was a faster race than the areas. Monica gave her opponent a huge hug and a genuine thump on the back. I received a Principal's Award from the school for volunteering but needless to say I wasn't there to receive it. Brent stayed in Nadia's bed last night to take care of Stacy. He is used to staying up until the wee hours. Stacy is incoherent, clutching her chest or else looks like she is attempting sign language. What are we going to do? Annie at 6/07/2002 03:48:00 a.m. Email to Crystal Yes Crystal I agree with you, we did have a lot of fun together and we have all lost something but because of your email I have got something back. I didn't read you wrong, I did know you well and that is important to me, because regardless of what was going on Stacy and I felt that we couldn't have been that wrong about a person. So I am glad you wrote to me. Things don't always work out the way we want them to but we can always learn from them. As long as you know that you really cared for us and we really cared for you, then we have all benefited by our time together. Please try not to take on the world by yourself. I know you are used to feeling that way, and I wish we could have talked when you were so confused, that is the first time I was aware that you were shutting me out and it was very puzzling. That is all in the past now. How are you doing now? I know that you said that you really loved your job and I hope that it is working out for you. I am glad that you found friends there. You mentioned that your foster mom was buying food for you every week so is that going ok for you? I have been really busy with Baseball and the girls. James and I were both at different towns all weekend with Stacy and James was with Monica. Stacy's team is having a tough time. There main pitcher got hurt in the very first game and is on crutches ever since so I don't know if we will see her back. I hope so. The second pitcher is floundering so right now Stacy is finding herself as the main pitcher. Her team finally had some respectable games even though they lost, they played the 3 top teams and looked good. I guess it is just as important to know how to lose but I do hope they win soon! I guess your student loan will be paid off very soon and it will be great to be able to save/ spend your own money! I hope your car is running good and you don't run in to any major expenses! Can you believe April is graduating soon? Please keep in contact and I am sorry to take so long responding but I always will try to keep in contact with you. As I mentioned before if you let me know in advance we can try to get together for lunch sometime, just you and me. June is a busy time but we can try and work it out. Love Annie James didn't feel well last night and this morning. I hope it doesn't last a long time. The doctor said that it was a mild case that he has so that is reassuring. Colleen phoned to say that Monica's 800 meter time was the fastest in all the area meets at 2:43 with the rest of them coming in about 3:00 minutes. The girl she beat, her personal best is 2:37 so she wasn't running her fastest, but she hasn't been practicing either. Unfortunately Monica's knee is sore today so we bought some ib and when she gets home she will ice it. She is nervous about tomorrow's meet. I don't know how to give her a pep talk in sports, I don't have the words. I don't want to give her a big head or even tell her that it was a fluke. She earned that win, brute strength and her strong will kept her in the lead so as far a I am concerned she did what she always wanted to do. She did it - she beat her just once, I remember her saying that is all she wanted to do. All I told her is that Monica has beaten her and the girl will always remember that. ------- Stacy started getting chest pains off and on last month and I thought it was heartburn but today it got intense and constant. Stacy was in severe pain when she got home from school today so we had to immediately take her to the hospital. They took her in right away and checked her heart and x-rays and blood work. Poor thing was in extreme pain and could barely lay still for the ekg. There was always some part of her body shaking when they were trying to keep her still. When they were trying to get blood I mentioned that she is so much like me that they might have trouble getting blood from her right arm. They poked and prodded and then the nurse said that I was right and went for her left arm. Her veins move or collapse, just like mine. They gave her a blood thinner injection in her stomach too. I was worried about the Tylenol 3 because they contain codeine and I am sensitive to it and I think she is too, but they didn't seem concerned about it so I don't know. They said it could be Pleurisy - a lung infection. Jessie - How is Stacy? My mom told me cuz she thought I should know Annie - she is in bed right now but I don't know if she will sleep tonight, her chest is really sore. She said that it feels like when you have eaten too much bread and you try to get a drink down and it hurts. That is what she had been feeling since she got home from school. She was in a bad way so we took her to the hospital. They gave her painkillers and some kind of nerve pill but she could still feel it. She has to go tomorrow for more tests and they gave her some blood thinners in the stomach. The Tylenol 3's don’t really do much. Jessie - is she going back to the hospital tomorrow?? Is it anything really serious? Annie - We really don't understand what is going on but they said what they were giving her tonight is incase she has whatever they are testing her for tomorrow Jessie - can u let us know if they are going to keep her there tomorrow so I can come see her after school... Annie - sure, I won't be there myself because I have to drive the track team to the Track finals. All the other school parents are going to an awards thing so there is no one else to drive, but Stacy Grandmother is going with her and she will keep us informed. James will be out of town for part of the morning too. It couldn't be a worse day but if anything is wrong I will be there. I know that she wouldn't want you to worry about her and until we know what is wrong we all have to take it easy. Jessie -yeah. If she is home after school, do u think I could come see her? Or do u think it would be a bad idea? Annie - She would love it. She always jumps at the chance to see you. I just told her baseball coach that he will have to find another pitcher for this weekend because we really don't know what is going on but she is pretty weak and dizzy right now so I cancelled her going up to Barrie. Are you going to be around this weekend? Jessie - ya probably why?? Annie -There will be times that James and I won't be around, but that depends on Stacy too. Annie at 6/06/2002 04:31:00 a.m. Email to Crystal Yes Crystal I agree with you, we did have a lot of fun together and we have all lost something but because of your email I have got something back. I didn't read you wrong, I did know you well and that is important to me, because regardless of what was going on Stacy and I felt that we couldn't have been that wrong about a person. So I am glad you wrote to me. Things don't always work out the way we want them to but we can always learn from them. As long as you know that you really cared for us and we really cared for you, then we have all benefited by our time together. Please try not to take on the world by yourself. I know you are used to feeling that way, and I wish we could have talked when you were so confused, that is the first time I was aware that you were shutting me out and it was very puzzling. That is all in the past now. How are you doing now? I know that you said that you really loved your job and I hope that it is working out for you. I am glad that you found friends there. You mentioned that your foster mom was buying food for you every week so is that going ok for you? I have been really busy with Baseball and the girls. James and I were both at different towns all weekend with Stacy and James was with Monica. Stacy's team is having a tough time. There main pitcher got hurt in the very first game and is on crutches ever since so I don't know if we will see her back. I hope so. The second pitcher is floundering so right now Stacy is finding herself as the main pitcher. Her team finally had some respectable games even though they lost, they played the 3 top teams and looked good. I guess it is just as important to know how to lose but I do hope they win soon! I guess your student loan will be paid off very soon and it will be great to be able to save/ spend your own money! I hope your car is running good and you don't run in to any major expenses! Can you believe April is graduating soon? Please keep in contact and I am sorry to take so long responding but I always will try to keep in contact with you. As I mentioned before if you let me know in advance we can try to get together for lunch sometime, just you and me. June is a busy time but we can try and work it out. Love Annie James didn't feel well last night and this morning. I hope it doesn't last a long time. The doctor said that it was a mild case that he has so that is reassuring. Colleen phoned to say that Monica's 800 meter time was the fastest in all the area meets at 2:43 with the rest of them coming in about 3:00 minutes. The girl she beat, her personal best is 2:37 so she wasn't running her fastest, but she hasn't been practicing either. Unfortunately Monica's knee is sore today so we bought some ib and when she gets home she will ice it. She is nervous about tomorrow's meet. I don't know how to give her a pep talk in sports, I don't have the words. I don't want to give her a big head or even tell her that it was a fluke. She earned that win, brute strength and her strong will kept her in the lead so as far a I am concerned she did what she always wanted to do. She did it - she beat her just once, I remember her saying that is all she wanted to do. All I told her is that Monica has beaten her and the girl will always remember that. Annie at 6/05/2002 07:22:00 p.m.
Brent was very hard to wake up this morning, he was on the phone from about 11:00 till 3am with Christie. I guess she is another night owl too! Brent is thinking or hoping that she is breaking off with her boyfriend soon. Brent is fluorescent red today, he didn't and wouldn't use sunscreen yesterday. I took Stacy to school early so that she could plead her case to her teacher about her ISU. She has until Thursday now. Monica is very sore today in her arms and legs. After viewing the videos clips from yesterday, she is also amazed at her running. Stacy bought Jessie a single red rose and dropped it at his place to try raise his spirits. He wasn't himself today because of the accident, very shaky and didn't sleep last night, but Shane was his normal, I guess still his happy go lucky smiling self. James had to go to with April for her Select softball game with her cousin. April is not close to her cousin so this opportunity to play together is what we hope will make them know each other better. Stacy's game was cancelled because of rain - again. This is about the fourth or fifth time she has had a game cancelled. Annie at 6/05/2002 03:08:00 a.m. Track and Field at the civic fields for the area meet. Stacy and Brent came with me to watch Monica. I enjoyed their company; it was like the old days with them both at track. I just wish Brent would have used sunscreen because now he is a lobster! Today something happened that I never thought that I would see. Monica beat the number one runner in all the district, not just our area but the whole district! The girl who always wins, is always miles ahead of every runner was finally beat, by none other than my daughter! Apparently her mother was warned about Monica - how strong and fast she is becoming. Monica's former cross country coach came up to her after the race and said to Monica "You don't know how big this is, you don't know what you have done". Monica should be so proud. Her time was 2:43.44. They were so far ahead of the rest of the runners that after we celebrated we turned around to see the third place coming to the finish line. Monica had to be taken to the St. John's Ambulance station because she had trouble breathing. Brent carried her over while I had rushed home to get her puffer. They said it was definitely asthma and she was hyperventilating because her breathing was scaring her. In the relay Monica got the baton (she was the second runner and passed four runners) and Sam had a good lead and kept it. Holly was the fourth runner and we had a good lead. We won so Monica will now go to the district finals for Short hurdles, 800 meter and Relay. She came in fourth in Shot Putt. Holly won the 200 and 400-meter race. For a small school our tiny school did very well. In the evening James and Monica went to return a video back and came across Jessie who had just been in a car accident. James tried to protect Jessie from saying anything that would jeopardize a court case. He was charged with careless driving, $350.00 fine and 6 demerit points. Poor Jessie, he was only driving Shane home from work and somehow hit a car from behind who had turned in the lane in front of him. His parents car is a write off. This is going to hamper his freedom since his parents were going to let Jessie use their car this summer while they used the bike. Stacy is trying to get her ISU done and found out today that she is suppose to present it on Tuesday. She was away on Thursday and no one, not even her friends told her she had that deadline. She was very stressed out. She is still complaining about the chest pains and headache that I took her to the doctors for last week. Monica had a tough night. She fell asleep on the chesterfield and no one could wake her up. I finally got her up at 11:30. She deserves to be that tired because after all the track and field, she went to a baseball practise. Annie at 6/04/2002 04:55:00 a.m. Last night, after many hours of phoning and driving around searching for April, James had had enough of her carefree behaviour. She didn't come home until she 'felt' like it. She was mouthy to him, said she can do whatever she pleases so James made her come to softball tourney with us. She put up a good protest, but he is right, until she can treat us fair and good, she can't be with her friends, she will have to be with us. We want our nice friendly April back again. She is really getting stubborn and obstinate with us. . It took our fourth child to have this attitude so I still think that we have done things right. Sometimes a kid just has to rebel, no matter how good things are at home. Monica played the Championship, lost and ended up not even getting silver. Go figure that out. It ended up good for me that I was able to see Stacy and Monica's tournaments this weekend. Annie at 6/03/2002 04:23:00 a.m. Email from Crystal Dear Annie, DO I EVER MISS YOU! I miss our talks. And how much we could share with each other. I have lost so much now. Not only did I lose Brent, but I lost you and April and Tracey and all the other Edwards. I miss you all so much. You were always so good to me. I don't know what happened. I just freaked out for bit. I just for some reason turned off my heart I couldn't feel happiness or sadness or any sort of emotin...except some anger. But it was spiteful not the real stuff. I really don't know how or why it happened, i wish I did so I could make sure that it never happened again. But about a month later it all came flooding back. The realization of everything that I had lost and that I had forced others into losing. The change that one person brought upon so many lives. I disgust myself when I think about how I have hurt so many people that I cared for and that cared for me in return so deeply. I will always for the rest of my life regret what I did to Brent. He is the best person I have ever known in my life. I hope that I can one day know a guy even half that special. I have never in my life been treated better. By one person let alone a whole entire family that just took me right into their hearts and their home. I will always love you all so much. Brent and I have made up and decided we will be friends and we do both want to keep in touch. But he says that will be all forever. Which is probably for the best because I was a selfish b***h and don't deserve someone like Brent. At least not right now. I hope he finds every happiness in the whole world and more. But not too much that he won't keep striving for it. I hope now that Brent and I have figured things out that you and I will be able to talk again in person. What I told Dianne about how the Crystal she knew was gone. It wasn't true. I speaking out of anger. Anger that I had not even seen her and she didn't even say hello or ask my side she just automatically jumped in my face. So I became defensive. I would never have stranded Brent. Nor do I remember saying that they waited outside the club to beat him up because I would never have let that happen. I love you and hope you forgive me one day for all the sadness I have brought you. I hope that the happy times that we have shared will mend your heart and bring us together again. Love always, Crystal Stacy and I had a long softball day. It was so windy that it stung your face. We faced the toughest teams. Stacy stumped the top team, they said that they couldn't figure her out, she doesn't pitch like anyone else!! We knew that, didn't we? She pitched very well and the top even wondered why they pulled her for the other pitcher. They had to because they invited another pitcher call up and it would be rude not to use her. We had a parent mimic their French phrases and it was so embarrassing. Why do people make fun of other peoples language? It as bad as making fun of their religion, I hate it. We weren't scheduled to play in the evening so some of our players couldn't stay and it was lightning in the distance and then it poured. At least they don't have to play tomorrow. Annie at 6/02/2002 04:19:00 a.m. Yes, Holly beat a track record but Monica set a new track record! Monica broke the 11 year old girls hurdle record of 33 seconds for the 200 meters long distance hurdles, with a time of 32.27 seconds! Holly was 32.68. What a team they are! Monica represented her Basketball team and the Hurdle team to the school in assembly and said she felt really comfortable doing it, no fast heartbeat or anything so she is learning how to handle lots of different types of pressure. I phoned Brent's cell in the afternoon to see where he is and he was at the elementary school helping out , so I was quite pleased - even if he was skipping. Brent went to visit Christie in the hospital with Adam. He brought her flowers and a card. She had a tumor removed so I hope it is not serious. Tonight would have been her prom so I am happy that Brent took her to his. She seems sweet, just like I remember her in elementary school. I had to go to softball with Stacy and James with Monica for tournaments. James went to the wrong diamond and got to their game just as it was starting. Stacy pitched a good game and it is interesting to watch people try to figure out Stacy's pitch. It is so unorthodox that kind of tricks the batter. Stacy said the wind helped to carry her pitch in and curve. After we went to Don Cherry's with Stacy's team. Nadia went out to dinner and then to the movie Some off all Fears with Derrick. Then they came back here. Annie at 6/01/2002 04:13:00 a.m.
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