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Peaces Of Me++++
++++ The miles just keep rollin as the people leave there way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go |
Dec 31/01 Brent didn't return until 3:30am. Icq messenger Jessie this is James I told your parents last night that I wanted to have a talk with you about what happened on the night of semi. I don't know when you and Stacy are planning on going out next so I thought I would put it down on paper. I trust Stacy's judgment of people. That is why Stacy hasn't had a curfew while she has been going out with you. Since we have got to know you ourselves, we have learned to trust you too. We have enjoyed watching Stacy being so happy with you. Stacy appreciates the freedom she feels when she goes out with someone we like and trust. I know that what happened the night of semi was a bad mistake that everyone wishes never happened, but I need to think of my daughter. When Stacy goes out with you I want to know that she is safe and that you will bring her home safe. If something like that were to happen again, I would have no choice but to give Stacy a curfew. I respect the limits your parents have put on you since this has happened and also your ability to live by them. I know this won't happen again but I just had to show you my concerns. Happy Birthday & New Year James I woke up this morning after not sleeping until 5:30am to Monica asking for a New Years Party and when I am this sleep deprived, I can agree to anything. My older kids are aware of this weekness and have been warned not to take advantage of me when I am in bed- do not approach me, I am not accountable for what I can't even remember! While James and I went out to get video tapes Monica phoned her friends to invite them and told them to come at 12:00 (for lunch and supper and party!) but Nadia intervened and made Monica phone them back and tell them 7:00. Stubborn Monica had to phone back another 2 times because she them told them 4 and then 6. Good thing Nadia caught her. I finished Jessie's video with Hannah pictures and Nadia worked all day and night for her friends' video. Monica's friends were behaved very well, for the most part. I made a video for their party too but they got crazy around 10 but that was when the boys were to leave anyway. April went to Chelsea's party, Stacy to a party with Jessie. Brent spent hours trying to figure out where his drunken friends were. He kept phoning but somehow he would get someone on the phone he didn't know or they would lose the connection. I have the feeling his freinds are feeling irked that they don't see much of him because he is always with Crystal. Annie at 12/31/2001 04:50:00 p.m. We went to the Flea Market to find Hockey Hall of Fame Pins and we picked up a Bobby Hull Plate for $25. We had Jessie's parents, Hannah and Mario over this evening with the family but they couldn't stay the whole evening because Jessie had a game. But we really enjoyed their company. Derrick came home late from work and Brent and Crystal made there own supper and watched TV here till late. Then they left April slept over at Laura's. Crystal drove her for us. Monica was going to stay over at Holly's- all packed and then her stomach got upset so she canceled. Annie at 12/30/2001 04:06:00 p.m. Stacy's eye looked pretty eucky today so she can't wear her contacts. We hung a lot of pictures in the basement- Nadia got lots for Christmas and took the one in that Brent's friend broke for repair. Nadia got an estimate for the Hockey Hall of fame stuff $150 if Derrickand her both have there shirts adn cards framed, still too pricy. We went out to dinner with Mark and Carrie and then they came back to our house to watch hockey while theri son baby-sat for the first time! Stacy showed Mark her eye so he gave her a prescription for some cream. Annie at 12/29/2001 04:46:00 p.m. Crystal made supper for our family. Went looking for a TV stand or cabinet because it is too hard to make it. Only found one and it is out of stock so alter James and I went to Scarborough to the Brick and found it there. It really opens up the basement. James gave me a poem today for our anniversary. ANNIE I Love You You are the one, In all of my dreams Walking together, Or wading in streams Life really blessed me, When it gave me you. I always used to think That it couldn’t be true. But still here you are, Right by my side. Holding my hand With every stride Walking through life, Our Love is so true And I am so happy To spend it with you I really love you with all my heart. James He is my coo. Ya, I'd still do him! Annie at 12/28/2001 02:33:00 p.m. I drove Stacy and Jessie to the movies. They both have lots of movie passes to use up. After I drove him to his dad's hockey but they wrestled in the back seat screaming, yelling, biting and punching the entire way. LOVE!!! James is trying to draw up plans for the TV stand in the basement. I say just throw the boards up and figure it out as we go, but that is why he is the one doing it. I got carried away with gluing hockey guys and put some on the door in the basement. We went to the Keg for our anniversary. Of course we started talking about old times and one story that keeps bring tears to out eyes was Johnny and the rabbit Thumper. James and I snuck to Cindy and Johnny's room on our hands and knees one morning and James put Thumper on his hand (He was a life-like puppet) and started to hump Johnny's arm while Johnny slept. He woke up absolutely terrified screaming "get it off me" He actually thought it was real! Good times. We ended up moving and complaining three different times and were moved into 3 different seats. It was cold air and they kept turning it on and I froze. Annie at 12/27/2001 04:41:00 p.m. We finally got our White Christmas but one day late. Caesar loved the snow. He snow ploughs his face into the snow while his bum is high in the air. Went downstairs to talk to James, he was on the computer and he had a few things open and behind a message you could see Annie I___ou. So my baby is sending me a love letter. Tomorrow is our 21st wedding anniversary. Stacy spent the day with Jessie and his parents and had a turkey dinner there. I was trying to figure out what to do with Nadia hockey posters. They have been in my closet for about two years because Stacy didn't want them up after we paint their bedroom. She said she didn't want all those guys watching her undress. I decided to try and paste them on the wall going down to the basement- it is dark and dingy so anything on the wall should brighten it up and if it didn't turn out too good it would be hard to see anyway. Nadia was about to go to bed and I casually mentioned that maybe we should try to cut one out and glue it to the wall and she turned around and immediately cut out a picture. It looks fantastic. They really turned out well. Annie at 12/26/2001 03:11:00 p.m. Nadia said that Crystal was so excited that she talked non stop until 2:30 so I am glad she was part of our Christmas. She made our Christmas extra special. Crystal was fun to have over, put new life in Christmas. She said that she hasn't had a stocking for years and never has had so much in a stocking. She seemed to really love the Betty Boop (that is her trademark collectable) sugar jar. Nadia went over to Derrick's for a Christmas lunch. Crystal and Dianne came to Grandma's for dinner. We put a huge bow on Caesar for the morning and he was so good. He didn't get into anything. Now that Grandpa is gone we have to treat every time that Gramma mangages to entertain the whole tribe as a gift. It won't last forever but I wish it could. I miss James's dad so much but the good times are still here for the rest of us. Annie at 12/25/2001 03:31:00 p.m. Caesar now weighs 34 pounds and they don't think he has a food allergy even though he is itching a lot. He doesn't have to go back for one year. I really tried to find gifts for Stacy but I am having no luck this year. I really hope she understands. Crystal is staying overnight for Christmas so I am happy about that. She slept upstairs on the flip chair between Stacy and Nadia. Annie at 12/24/2001 04:55:00 p.m. Again I shopped all day, I am so tired of it, I am not a shopper but Nadia really helped me today. I guess I am all right with most of the kids, for except Stacy. Tonight Jessie was allowed to come over here to exchange Christmas gifts. Before, when Stacy was getting ready for Jessie, she kept coming in our room in various stage of undress and teased us with her half nakedness. Things like "Look how big I'm getting" and then stare at her chest and "when I look down like this I can't see my feet" Brent, Nadia and I would just crack up. It was so funny, the stunned look on James's face. Stacy is so thin that the whole scenario was halarious, especially when Stacy is normally so darn shy! Jessie wore his semi clothes, Stacy her gown and she lit many, many candles, it really looked well- you know. After she went to the sports complex to a hockey party with Jessie and his parents. She is pretty happy. We invited Crystal to stay over Christmas day and spend Christmas with us. She was shock but so pleased because she doesn't have much of a Christmas given the state of her family. She still is a Family's Aid kid. Annie at 12/23/2001 04:22:00 p.m. I shopped for most of the day taking different kids out. I still don't have most of the kids stuff but I really can't get all stressed out about it. We got the Internet for gramma for Christmas. April had a party, turned out really good, many teens that were so active they made our walls sweat! I took about 80 pictures and made a music video adn the kids were able to see it before they left adn they loved it! I put it to there music. Caesar partied with them. He loves people, and the great thing about it, not matter how excited he gets, and he has never jumped up on anyone! It is a good thing considering how big he is getting. Took Brent and Crystal to the local Burger joint. Stacy finally got to see Jessie tonight and she was so happy she kept jumping up and down yelling "Jessie" all the way to his house. Annie at 12/22/2001 03:54:00 p.m. I took April and Monica out of school in the morning to do some shopping. They had their school dance in the afternoon so I had to ask permission so they could go to the dance. Cory couldn't go because of the suspension. April complained that Josh B said that she touched his butt but she said all that happened was she did touch him but not they way he wished it was, but to get him out of the way as she moved through a bunch of kids. She had to visit the Principals office and she was upset at the trouble she was in when she felt she did nothing wrong. Stacy is having chest pains. We think that it is stress about Jessie's grounding or being so upset about Jessie and Semi, dad being hospitalized, school and Christmas. To see if it was stress I gave her some alcohol but she didn't seem any different, didn't relax her at all so I gave her Tums but it didn't do anything either. It is like someone is sitting on her chest. Derrick dropped by to see Nadia after work. He is working a lot at this time of year. When Derrick heard of Cory's suspension he had a big smile of his face, and proudly stated, "looks like I am the good boyfriend!" Annie at 12/21/2001 04:10:00 p.m. Cory got in a fight at school today with that Chris guy, the one that was on Monica's soccer team last year, the one who kept crying. He got suspended until the New Year (Sound familiar?) Chris went up and tried to take him on because he was tired of Cory being the popular one and he wasn't. When I was telling one of the family members I said it was Monica's boyfriend and she didn't correct me so I knew that it really was. When I asked about it later she said yes and that he asked her out on the phone because she said that she would only tell him if he asked and not his friends. Good going Monica. They have been going out since November! James was released the hospital although I do believe he isn't feeling as good as he told his doctor, he just wants to come home that bad. His stomach was very bloated and tender in the evening and he wasn't feeling well at all. I am very nervous about James being home when I don't think he was as well as he let on in the hospital- he just wanted to come home. Annie at 12/20/2001 03:18:00 p.m. Stacy has been really pampering her daddy- she is going to spoil him and when she is finished she pushes him over to make room for herself in the bed! Nadia has lots of late night talks with him which I appreciate so much- she can be a great conversationalist. Monica and April had an evening visit with James and they really enjoyed it. All 3 were in the same bed. Mom is really pushing it. I went to Mark and Carrie's. Carrie came over and got me and spent a couple of hours with them- I really needed it. Apparently, when mom mentioned that I happened to be stressed out Carrie pointed out that yes, I had just had over 20 people over for Christmas dinner, my husband was in the hospital very ill, I have 5 kids who all need my support, James is self employed so we have to worry about money when he is in the hospital, and Christmas is coming and I need to shop. God bless Carrie and I hope that sunk into mom's head. Got a letter from Jean Tina is 5 years old and is from the city of Shenzhen, Guangdong Province, China. On April 5th we found out that we would be traveling to China on May 3rd! We flew to Hong Kong and spent the weekend with a friend. Monday morning we met up with our group of 11 families from Canada and traveled by bus to Guangzhou. It is about 3 hours from Hong Kong.That same day the other 10 families were handed their babies upon arrival at the hotel. The following day we traveled with our facilitator to the Shenzhen Welfare Institute Orphanage to get our Tina. We were backtracking towards Hong Kong about 2 hours. Shenzhen is on the border of Mainland China and Hong Kong new territories!We were the only family in our group to travel to an orphanage. What an experience! We did not get to see the entire facility but we saw enough to feel really good about the place Tina had spent the past 2 1/2 years. The people we met seemed to care very much for the children. Tina was very fortunate to have lived at this particular orphanage. Shenzhen is a wealthy city and is influenced by the western culture of Hong Kong. Tina was lucky enough to have been exposed to things like swimming, dancing, music, picnics in the park, McDonalds and even Santa Claus! I think this has helped in the transition to her new life here in Canada. We returned to Guangzhou with Tina and stayed there for about 6 days. We had to do all the Chinese paperwork and get her passport before flying on to Beijing where we did the Canadian side of the paperwork. We returned to Canada on May 18th. Tina had never heard English until she met us on May 8th. We managed at first to communicate with plenty of gestures. We are so amazed at how quickly Tina has learned to speak English. Children can pick up a language so fast. She is in grade primary and loves going to school. China was not what we expected at all. I was quite nervous about traveling there. Now that I have been there, I would not be nervous to return at all. The cities we traveled to were very westernized. The hotels were great and the food very good. Sam is happy to have a sister. They get along the same way any other brother and sister would. If you know what I mean! Sam is in Grade 2 French Immersion. He continues to be very active. He loves all kinds of sports including swimming, soccer, bicycling, scoodering, roller- blading and hockey. He is growing like a weed and already is wearing the same shoe size as me! Annie at 12/19/2001 02:02:00 p.m. James and I always try to figure out how and when Grammie will snoop upstairs to our bedrooms, but I thought that at least with James in the hospital she wouldn't play her little games. She went into my room with Monica and asked Monica for the dolls that used to be her's. Monica had to dig around for them. She decided that she wanted to take them home with her for a visit. When I realized that she was nosing around in my room, I got mad and she tried to make Monica say that she was only in there for a minute. When Monica said it was about 5 minutes she started to yell at Monica, which upset me even more. Today Nadia's friend Brie took Caesar to get his hair cut. She brought him back in the afternoon and he looked so cute with a Christmas bandanna around his neck. They mentioned how calm he is. Took some pictures for James to see our pretty doggy. We are all taking turns visiting James. Brent in the early morning believe it or not he actually was easy to get up and then Stacy in the afternoon and then stagger the rest of the kids. I took Brent after to get his hair cut by Mario and we talked a bit about Jessie and semi. (I wasn’t going to bring it up because it is his place of business but he did.) I know I should be Christmas shopping, I only did my side of the family, but I am so stressed out I can't even think straight. Today I stopped at a green light so I have to concentrate more. Mom came back to my place after my neice's school Christmas concert, believe it or not- walked right in and said that I would realize later that she is right. I got mad again. I asked why she was doing this to me and she said that I was doing it to her- that this is about her. I told her that she some how always tried to get the attention back on her and then she left. I am so mad that I can barely look at her. I hope to god he doesn't need the operation and have to get a colonoscopy, that bag you wear on the outside of your body until your bowel heals. It is on my mind because the guy across from James, he has one and in the night it broke and messed up the whole bed. The night nurse wouldn't change it or him and said he would have to wait until the morning shift because she was too busy. It is really bothering me- all I can think of is James. Please, please get better honey. icq messenger Stacy - mom, Brent is trying to kick me off the computer but i'm talking to Jessie, make him stop April -he is looking at your computer right now to see what is wrong with the internet. he was talking to me when your message came and it really made us laugh Stacy -dont laugh at me April -Brent wants you to come up and try your computer now Annie at 12/18/2001 02:52:00 p.m. James dressed to go to the hospital around 1 and then decided to try and wait a bit.-He is in agony. We went to the Hospital around 3am and James was in a real bad way. I was even worried about him in the car. They took X-Rays right away before the doctor even saw James and when the doctor saw him he said that he had a blockage in his intestines. They showed us the X-ray and you could see his intestines winding around which you normally do not see. They put a tube down his throat via his nose and they asked me to participate which I probably shouldn't have because I broke down really hard. I hope I didn't scare him. I thought he might die right there on the spot. I had to wait a while to phone James's mom because I was so upset I didn't want to make her suffer just because I couldn't keep it together. I asked mom if she would go to April and Monica's Christmas concert so I could be with James and she did. She stayed over night and started asking insensitive things like why didn't I made soup with the turkey (I threw all of the dinner out when I thought James had food poisoning). Why would I even think of anything else but James when he is so sick in the hospital. Mom seems to pick at you when you are at your lowest. Icq messenger You there Stacy? I am sorry that you are missing the 2 most important men in your life right now- it must be really hard on you, but we will know alot more tomorrow about Dad, so we shouldn't worry until we know what is really going on OK? Annie at 12/17/2001 03:16:00 p.m. Aside from my extended family on my side I haven't done any serious shopping. I was sick with a bad cough for about 3 weeks and today has been my first good day. With all the coughing I have been doing I should have abs of steel. If only it worked that way!!! We just celebrated Christmas with my side of the family today at my house. Caesar had Gord, a chocolate lab about 6 months older than him for company today but he was a little intimidated by him. They were roughhousing outside and Caesar actually rose on his back feet to defend himself. It was a little unnerving not knowing if they are playing or if they are getting too rough. I had 21 people for dinner. It was good but James came down with flu like symptoms as soon as they left. I don't want to sleep in the same bed but I am waiting for the gravol to kick in so I can leave for the couch without worrying about him. He is in alot of discomfort, poor guy. I phoned Mark at 10 to ask him if I should take him in to the hospital now but he said to try the gravol first to see if he can keep it down. We tried to keep gravol in James and he actually kept it down once for an hour. That is what got me thinking that if the gravol didn't work, then something else was going on. I had phoned Mark and he said he doubted food poisoning because it was too quick. Annie at 12/16/2001 04:41:00 p.m. Around 3am, they were still having noisy fun, just finished a Pizza, but then it got quiet after that. This morning I really questioned Stacy and Amy about Jessie, Semi and the drinking. The more I hear the more upsetting it is. Stacy said she tried to take Jessie's drinks away from him, but he would just go get another. She got upset that he didn't even want to go to the dance with her from Gemma's, he wanted to go with the guys but she insisted that he drive with her. He was at the dance for about 5 minutes when Stacy went to dance with the girls and people started to tell her about Jessie getting caught. She went to find him and he was with police and was in the school office. She said that all of a sudden he just got staggering drunk and was throwing up in the garbage can. They separated them and four teachers interrogated Stacy, demanding names of the people drinking. They told Jessie that they were going to charge Gemma's parents for the underage drinking. I talked to Hannah and he won't be going anywhere anytime too soon. Hannah has the unique ability to wait until after the mad is gone to deal with her problems with Jessie, I have noticed and that is so important. I really do admire Hannah. Stacy is so sad that she won't be seeing him except to exchange Christmas gifts but I told her this would probably happen. He has been suspended from school until after the New Year and I just hope they won't kick him off the hockey team. I feel so bad for Jessie and at the same time I am disappointed that the whole thing happened. Saw Jessie at the grocery store so he made it in to work. At least that is good but I am dissappointed in him, he let me down. Even worse, he let my daughter down. Brent apologized about the crack about how I knew what pot smelled like. I am glad he has a conscience. April and James and I had dinner at Don Cherries. I am finally feeling better. Annie at 12/15/2001 04:55:00 p.m. I am so sick! No company Christmas dinner for me, I am that sick. I can't control my coughing urges. I'm not shedding any tears about it because I now I don't have to deal with the Dinner Bitch, but there is so much going on tonight that I feel better that I could stay home. Melissa's mom is keeping tabs on her tonight. She has the uneasy feeling that something is amiss. Something that parents won't like is going on tonight with the Semi kids. She asked me why I wouldn't let Stacy go to the dance unless Jessie picked her up here and then she wanted to know why Stacy was hesitant about going to Gemma house before the dance. I told her that Stacy was pretty straight laced and at times I even had to tell her to relax and lighten up so I actually trust that Stacy will behave. Jessie has to pick her up because she is his date and that is what I expect of him. Because I was stepping in, Melissa's mom will only let her go wherever Stacy goes. But now this puts more of a responsibility on Stacy and me. If there are problems tonight am I now more responsible? Picked up the kids from semi but there was no Jessie. Apparently he got too drunk and was sent home. The kids partied here after semi and behaved themselves quite nicely. Stacy's friends and Brent's friends got along good and had a really good time. Unfortunately after being so happy that Brent's friends weren't drinking I got a real good whiff of them and they smelled of pot so bad, I don't know how there parents could ever miss it. Adam was upset that I figured it out, reacted like an ostrich, and hid his face in the corner of the bar for about 5 minutes. Brent made some wise crack wondering how I knew what it smells like. I reminded him that I grew up in the 70's. Enough said. Crystal doesn't handle her booze too well, was all over everyone. Brent didn't quite make it out of the front door when he didn't have the stomach to watch Jodi throw up in the bathroom. Together they grabbed a towel to clean it up but laughed hysterically when they realized it was only a face cloth. Annie at 12/14/2001 04:59:00 p.m. I really admire Nadia- she has done something that I have been trying for 2 years- to get April into really trying to do her school projects. April stopped trying when the French teacher told her that she didn't do her project, that she had help or got it off the Internet and that just wasn't true. She gave her a C and it broke April's spirit. She had worked on it all through Christmas break and gave up completely after that. Nadia has been talking to her for 2 days about it and convinced her to do the project alone instead of with Chelsea. I am so proud of both of them. I knew April could do it. Sick, yes, sick sick sick! sniffle cough! Annie at 12/13/2001 04:21:00 p.m. ICQ messenger Annie - Hi Jessie, Stacy is in a spot right now. There is something wrong with our main computer but for some reason the network works. She is trying to print out a project but I don't know if the printer is working. Brent has it in pieces. She is re installing stuff to try. The project is too big to fit on disks so I don't know what she can do or if it will work. She is not too happy though. Jessie - that sux, will she be on later? Annie - She will find out soon enough if she can use the printer, so I think so, but I don't know how upset she will be if it doesn't work out. She has been working on this for days. When she comes up I will tell her that you are on. Jessie - ok thanks, is Stacy buyin out tomorrow? Annie - yes she is, what time is the game? Jessie - 2:00 but the buy out isnt till 2:30 Annie - ok, I'll be there with my camera trying again to get some decent pictures. I wish I didn't tell the yearbook teacher that I would take them because so far I haven't been able to get anything good. Does the flash of the camera bother people when you are playing? I haven't used it yet because I thought it might but I might have to. Jessie - no it doesn't, well not me but i doubt it Annie - ok good. About Friday, because people will be drinking before the dance, it doesn't seem to me that too much will be drank after, I might be wrong, but I hope there won't be people in the shape that Melissa was last time because James wasn't too pleased with her. I don't know if you remember but we could hear everything that she was yelling what she wanted to do to Jay. James doesn't want any drinking but I don't see any harm in a little casual drinking. Jessie - yea there wont be much, i wont be after cuz i gotta work at 9 the next morning and i told Stacy that if anybody gets stupid they will be gone, i dont even know if anyone will be coming either yeah, What is the maximum ppl u would allowed over? Annie - Oh, I want you guys to have fun and Brent has had parties with booze since then, I think he is trying to break James in again! I don't know. It isn't all that big down there, what do you think? Jessie - i have no idea, there would, prolly be like 5 or 6 guys maybe some girls but i have no idea bout the girls but it is all up to you Annie - That's ok, I am always asking Stacy to have people over more so that's no problem and I think that some girls are sleeping over too. It is all right Jessie - ok it will be fun, the only problem is i have no idea what to wear and i don't have anything Annie - How about your hockey stuff maybe with a sweater over it or something Jessie - ya thats what i was thinking Annie - anyway I am getting off, have a good game tomorrow, bye. April wrote a Blah Blah letter, Nadia's way of showing her how to babble about nothing to help her prepare for projects. This is part of it: I keep thinking how I'm the stupid Edwards. Everyone else is much better and smarter, skinner and good-looking. Why aren't I Normal? I want to be popular but I am nothing. I don't even know why I have friends right now. Sometimes I wonder why I am even alive, What did I do to deserve this body, mind and soul? I wish I could trade it in for like Stacy or you (Nadia) I HATE SCHOOL! Is there any real reason for me? I feel like I am an inconvenience, a problem. I think they should take me back cause this body is broken. I love Stacy's hair! It is very pretty I love her body too. I want to be her so I can be fighting off all the boys. Every single guy in my school that knows her thinks she's hot. And then they look at me and ask why I'm so fat and why I can't look like her. Oh April! Why can't kids realize their importance, that individuality and conforming is a balance? I don't think people would enjoy looking like each other, even though you often see kids all dressed alike, while they profess to be rebelling against the establishment, they are all just trying to fit in. She doesn't understand that Stacy envies April's ability to make people laugh, that every one envies a quality that someone else has. Annie at 12/12/2001 04:37:00 p.m. Nadia had her college exams and then went to an NHL game with Derrick, his Birthday present from her. They bought some hockey art at a silent auction. Jessie wants to meet Stacy at the dance. Stacy seems perturbed but I don't want that to happen for 3 reasons. 1. He should pick her up when it is an important date. I am surprised that Jessie is even trying to make this an evening with the guys too, when it is supposed to be about them as a couple. His priorities are mixed up right now. It's either him and the guys or them as a couple. He would be seeing them at the dance and after anyway, because Stacy is planning a party after semi. I really don't get it. 2. I know that he will be drinking. Picking her up should cut down on the drinking time. If he has to drive, maybe he will get his parents car and then maybe he won't drink at all. I could pick him up after semi at his place and then drive him back and then he could drink then. 3. If he drinks too much and meets her at the dance like he wants to, I don't want Stacy stranded at the dance alone things could go wrong like him getting too drunk to even come. That would ruin her night. When drinking is involved timing of things usually gets messed up- at least that is what I have always noticed. I just hope that she voices her opinion, whether it bothers him or not. On semi, it is not a guys night- it is a couples night. Annie at 12/11/2001 03:35:00 p.m. Christmas shopping! I wish that I meant that exclamation mark but I just can't get my heart into shopping. I will have one purchase in mind, then off to the mall. If I can't find it I get in a panic and nothing else will do, so I dart home and lick my wounds. As soon as I find what I was looking for I run home anyway. I just don't have the female shopping gene! The school board cancelled the permit for the baseball tryouts but they never told us. It is just as well, I wanted Monica's wrist to heal more. So instead the coaches came here for a meeting. Stacy went to a seminar that she helped to arrange. Her Nutritionalist was the guest speaker. Nadia is teaching me how to make a web page. I am using my diary but I don't know if I am actually going to post it. I would feel strange if the people I knew and loved knew my thoughts. I don't think that strangers looking through my life would bother me but I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, especially my families. I just don't want to lose some of my entries as I have in the past. Nadia says that she could put a password on it so you would have to have the secret code to see it. Annie at 12/10/2001 04:53:00 p.m. What a horrid cold. It is putting a bah humbug feeling in me. I go to the mall search for nothing I know of and come back empty handed. Jessie's Hockey game and Stacy came home feeling frustrated after talking to him on ICQ messanger. I don't know why he couldn't talk to her about problems face to face but he waited until she got home. Jessie wants to go out drinking with the guys before the semi dance and Stacy seems uneasy about it. I told her that because it is a big date, he had to pick her up and see that she gets home OK because I won't be around to drive either way. I am going out to James's Christmas party (again on the same night). I do my fair share of driving them places so I don't think that I am asking too much in that they look out for each other on semi. I told her that I know that Jessie will do the right thing and all will work out just fine because I trust him. It is weird that the parent is saying to trust and the daughter is not so sure! Annie at 12/09/2001 03:53:00 p.m. That old familiar yell came today. Kind of like an anguished, mom make it better holler, fix it! A yell that I recognize as the first time a young girl finds blood, her first period. Monica, my baby girl, came on her period. God, 11 years old is too young! This is not a happy day for her at all. She just stared through me with a stunned look on her face. She felt cheated that she is only 11 and this shouldn't be happening. Monica didn't want to hear that she was a young woman now, she wants to be a kid. The more I tried to reason with her about life, the more upset she became. Monica didn't want to participate in the world today and threw my bedcovers over her to shut the world out but mainly to shut me out. As she lay in my bed with the covers pulled over her head, she willed the world to continue without her for this is where she intended to stay. There was a big race today at York University and she wasn't going to go, just lie here and be angry at the unfairness of it all. I tried every angle I could. I told her that there was no set date that this would begin, that every one was different. I have been preparing her for this ever since her body began to rapidly change. I told her the ages of all my other girls 10, 12 and 13 and then she asked when it happened to me. I probably shouldn't have told her but as soon as I said 16, I could tell by the frustrated look on her face that I was no longer welcome near her, that I had betrayed her. How could I possible know how she felt? At that moment I realized that she had withdrawn from me to the extent that I was on the outside of her world looking in. Nadia would be the only one that could understand what she was going through. Nadia came on at ten years of age, she could relate better to Monica . Nadia closed the door almost in my face because I felt I should be there with her. I knew that I should have been the one to make everything better but Nadia had a common ground with her that I couldn't share. After about half an hour, Nadia and Monica came out of my room with her shoulders squared and her head held high. Monica said she was going to the race to win gold. Thanks Nadia, for being a compassionate teenager that thinks of others. The talk did her well and we went to York University where they got gold! James finally got a hold of me in the car (I have been missing his long distance calls every time). He said his back is hurting him so much that he had to quit after 10 holes of golf on the first day. I have had a lot of long talks with Nadia this weekend and enjoyed most of them. She really threw me for a loop when she said, "You have to talk to someone about condoms. Someone left a condom wrapper downstairs. It isn't my brand and Brent uses the same brand we do and Stacy and Jessie aren't there yet so you might have to talk to April." $&^%#*&& She doesn't think April is doing anything with them other than playing with them with her friends. It got me thinking about this for hours. On the one hand I was glad that I thought I knew Stacy as well as I obviously do. That is there business. I knew about the other two, they both have told me and I appreciate honesty. But April??? NO. Where is James when I need him????? I went downstairs in search of some "proof" what, I don't know, but this is all a lot to take in a couple of sentences. I found a pay stub by the bar, evidence that someone emptied there pockets and when I first looked at it, my first thought was, Oh no, it's a No Frills pay stub! That is where Jessie works! But Nadia said that Stacy wern't there yet so I got under some good lightning and saw that it was from a friend of Brents. Therefore I can deduce that the condom wrapper is from him. Yes, yes, yes!!! He emptied his pockets here, I have his pay stub so maybe it is from his pocket. I think that last week when Brent was having a party some of Brent's friends were playing with them. Yeah that's it! We went to Terry's annual Christmas party and I really missed James there. April gave me a hard time because she wanted a friend there but she just has to wait like the older kids did. She wants everything now. Crystal and Jessie came with us. James brother announce a new baby on its way! The adults basically stayed upstairs and the kids looked like they had a good time, there is a lot they can do in their basement. I am getting tired of carrying around the camera, trying to get pictures of my 3 oldest's boyfriend/girlfriend. The only one that helps me out is Brent and Crystal. Stacy wants me to take them for the video, but then she doesn't really co-operate. She should because hers is supposed to be the first one ready. I made myself invisible. I tried to stay away from most people because my throat hurts so much, I don't want to give it to anyone. So I really became an extension of the camera, they didn't see me, only my camera. The way I felt tonight, it was fine by me! Annie at 12/08/2001 03:44:00 p.m. Teacher interview day for the elementary school. It was so quiet there now that there is a little over 200 students there, down from almost 500! Both teachers say that there are no problems except that Monica won't wear her coat after team practices. I said "Oh well". I guess she is a cool Canadian kid! Monica is running at York University tonight in a relay She left her running shoes at school so we had to use Stacy's spikes. Monica's relay team earned 2nd place in the 4x200 relay. Brent has not been home yet and Stacy is at work. Nadia is out somewhere with Derrick. April phoned from Chelsea and I made her come home because she is not allowed to hang out with her. April never stuck up for herself with Chelsea, anybody else yes, but Chelsea takes advantage of her all the time. All my other kids notice it and they all don't want her around either. The baby-sitter told Chelsea that I didn't want them baby-sitting together, which is true. Hopefully April remembers that: Chelsea wanted to baby-sit by herself. She didn't want to share the money with April because she said that she was doing all the work She told April she wanted to quit. She bossed April around all the time so that April wasn't even comfortable with the child because she never got to hold it. She blames everything that went wrong on April. Hope April understands that she is better off without Chelsea and that she has more friends when she is not around Chelsea For example Brittney has phoned her twice tonight and Erin is over here right now. That would never happen if Chelsea is in the picture. I am not feeling well, my throat is killing me. It has been going on for days now with no relief, my stomach hurts with sore muscles and I have been qielty avoiding human contact. Enough already! Annie at 12/07/2001 04:30:00 p.m. It is still so balmy warm out, not like any December I have ever felt. I don't know when Brent came home but it wasn't while I was up. I just went downstairs and jumped out of my skin because I didn't know Crystal was there. I guess I should have figgured that she would be there, but I must have been thinking of easier times. James left for Miami for a "business meeting" and Brent wouldn't even get up to say bye to him. My throat is still raw. It is affecting my usually sweet disposition! I went shopping with Stacy after school to buy her a semi dress. It was the only extra small that we saw in all of the mall and she loves it. It is a long black glittery halter dress. Stacy is really excited about the dance now. Monica wasn't home when we got home, she was at the park and she knows she is not allowed there after dark, we went and brought her home. She was with Cory and another guy. April says that all of the guys and her are just friends and Dillon only likes her as a friend again. That was brief! Stacy seems so happy with Jessie, we went to the grocery store while he was working and she spent the whole time talking to him. I love how happy she has been lately and if it is because of him, then I am glad that she found him. April was suppose to go to a sleep over at Chantell's, they were going from our house to hers, but they were gone about 40 minutes when her mom phoned. She said she was going out looking for them and I said that if April was at the park or school, to please bring her home. She brought her home anyway when she found them at Chelsea's house so I guess that she didn't want them having a sleep over anymore. I am dissapointed she was found at Chelsea's Hi Bruce, It is your long lost cousin, well not lost but I might as well have been because we haven't talked in years! Hope you and your family are doing well- my mom tells me that you have moved to Australia! That is quite a move and I bet it will be a great adventure. How old are your kids now? I remember you sending a picture of them in the Oilers jerseys. How the heck are you going to watch hockey there? Is CuJo still your sons favorite? We almost named our dog CuJo but then we realized that it is also the name of a Steven King weirdo dog. We call him Caesar-a cross between a golden retriever and a standard poodle. He is going to be huge. When his paws come down on you there's definite fear. He gained 20 pounds this month!! My kids are getting up there in years. Four teenagers and a teeny bopper. 11, 13 16, 17 and 19! I am driving alot since the 3 oldest don't have there g2 yet. For the most part they are all involved in sports and Brent computers. And then there is the girlfriend and boyfriends...help! I am sorry that you no longer have your dad. He was a sweet man and whenever he came to visit the years in-between visits would all disappear and it felt like no time had ever passed. I could talk to him better than I could most people. He reminded me so much of my dad, especially his mannerisms. Have a great time down there on the other side and I would love to hear from you. Bye! Annie at 12/06/2001 03:05:00 p.m. It would have been 26 years ago today for my first marriage, and 35 years ago that my cat died. Funny some of the things that you think about only on that day and only that day. Monica had her friends over today while I was in James's office. When I went out to talk to Holly two different guys went up to Monica and hugged her even though one of them saw me. They were playing truth or dare! Holly got hurt on the broken part of the pool table so we had to bandage her up. I just realized that the video I made doesn't work on all computers so I have to make sure by checking everyone's computer. Or just record them on tape, but that takes so long. April was saying on the way to basketball that there are four guys that like her but only one that likes only her, Dillon. She said she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings so she doesn't know what to do. I told her that if she was the only girl that Dillon liked then maybe it should be him if she likes him that way too. The best way I told her if that she is only friends with them. Yeah right. It is so typical of being a teenager, you are popular one minute and that minute probably feels like a sceond because it can be over so fast. Then you are back to envying what other teens have. Nadia was out with Derrick all evening. We had a late night Burger King. My throat is so sore and I have major coughing fits. Annie at 12/05/2001 04:44:00 p.m. I got really upset with Brent for not finishing what he started. Probably I was madder at him for not being here when we need him and miss him, but I took it out on him for not fixing my computer. I lost a lot of pictures on my digital camera and they would have been downloaded if he had of finished putting them on my computer, but my computer was in pieces. After I got mad it took about 2 minutes for him to do what he should have done days ago. School Area finals for Monica's volleyball team and they didn't stand a chance. I feel bad for them because they only got to play one other time-so much for a volleyball season. I guess that you lose all your compeption when your school is so small. We no longer attract teachers who love to coach. I will try to take a more active role next season, phone other schools for games, maybe that will help. I went out with Carrie, Christmas shopping and we stopped at Lone Star for a much appreciated drink. When I got back April and Monica both had friends over and they were all together in the family room- that's a first! There were both girls and guys for both of them. Derrick and Nadia were in the basement, Brent at Josh's and Stacy had a co-op assignment. Annie at 12/04/2001 03:03:00 p.m. Went shopping separately with Nadia and Stacy today so they could get some Christmas shopping done. I enjoy having my time alone with both of them. Worked on some videos. I am learning so much on the computer right now. James had the tryout for Squirt Rep baseball tonight. 17 girls show up and some looked pretty talented which was a nice surprise considering every other team has already picked their players months ago! I came home early because my throat is pretty raw. So is Nadia and Crystal's. Brent is still out; he has been a big question mark every day lately. Will he come home, will she be with him? I wonder how happy his friends are about his absents in his usual routines? I finished the bantam video and I wanted to see if I could use show on the go instead of copying them to a vcr tape, it would be so much easier. I phoned on the the coaches from last season and asked if I could try it out on his computer and unfortunately his computer is not powerful enough so I guess I will have to do it the hard way and tape it on vhr. Darn!!! Annie at 12/03/2001 02:55:00 p.m. Even though we put extra lumber all underneath our fence Caesar escaped by into our neighbour's back yard. As soon as he got to the other side he became frightened and barked to alert us. We had to put lattice in the gap. Crystal stayed over again. What to do? Brent will apologize, she will too and then it happens again. James bought and replaced outside lights. Stacy put such an effort into the Christmas lights that thankfully James gave in and helped out. Stacy went Christmas shopping with Jessie and his mom. We went to Jessie's hockey game- he scored. The weasel Darren's younger sister was there and she asked if Caitlin Edwards was my niece. When I said yes, she started to laugh, little snot. I guess gossip runs in the family. Brent did a lot of computer work this weekend but there is still a lot to do, but he is hardly ever home to do it and when he is Crystal is usually with him. Tried to finish the Bantam video. We just have to hook up the burner on James's computer and I can get it out of the way. April is spending hours outside walking with the dog, which is good for the dog but I think she is using it to hang out with Chelsea and people she doesn't want me to know about. I have smelt smoke on her but it could be from anyone, hopefully. I hope April is not smoking. Annie at 12/02/2001 04:44:00 p.m. I found Brent asleep sitting up in a terribly awkward position in the family room this morning. Crystal was on the other side of the couch lying down. Needless to say his shoulder is really hurting him. We missed soccer by mistake. I took the calendar down to see what time her game was and then I became engrossed at all the jot notes on the calendar about what we did on the different months this year. Monica came up and asked me when soccer was and I turned to December and said, "About half and hour ago!" If felt bad, I hate missing my commitments and letting Monica down. Had Crystal and Gramma for supper, it was the first time in ages all of us sat down at the same time for supper and even in the dining room! However, the atmosphere was heavy on the scarcastic side. Nadia makes deep subliminal remarks about Crystal at every oopportunity. If you didn't know that there was friction you might not notice but I sure got all of it. You would think for Brent sake she would try to make peace, but she says for Brent's sake she is not. Stacy put up the Christmas Lights for most of the day. James has no desire to be the Griswald's anymore, he says that other people can play the game. Too bad he is so cynical about Christmas lights, he used to be the first to put them up. Stacy still remembers the bright feelings the lights gave our family and is doing her best to make it spectacular and bring back the spark. Stacy was with Jessie in the evening, with Melissa and Paul, Jessie has been using his parents car more now. I am relieved Jessie is driving because Stacy is terrified with Paul driving. She says he shows off too much and is reckless. Lana is up north with her poor sister who just had to get both breast removed because of cancer. Nadia made stuffed puppy for Derrick. She needed help with the eyes and she actually phoned a neighbour from our past. She was happy to come over to show her how to put the eyes in. The eyes we bought were cheap crap, hense the problem. Brent had people over tonight in and out, they drank but were well behaved and had a late, late night pizza. Brent stayed down stairs overnight with Crystal. I had another talk with him about it. Common Brent, I DON'T want my younger kids seeing that. Annie at 12/01/2001 04:58:00 p.m.
Caesar fake pooped Nadia out this morning. She took him to the side door, he looked at her and made the motions of going to the bathroom. She then brought him into her bedroom and he ended up pooping in her room instead At the Preteen dance Monica's guy friend Spencer was caught flushing his own head in toilet two times! She was so upset upset icq messanger wasn't up when she got home. She has been hit over the head by a caveman boy's club and dragged off to the cave by the hair because all of a sudden she is seeing boys in a different light. Now she sees what all the fuss is about and she likes it!!!!!! Oh no!!!. April went to Erin's with a bunch of people. Crystal went out with Nadia to the night club. A guy there was telling Brent who the good looking girls there and pointed to Crystal. Brent told him that was his g/f and when the guy didn't believe him he went up and kissed her. Nadia had a good time and both had too much to drink. Stacy went to a late movie. Crystal stayed overnight. It is hard not to let her stay because as Nadia's freind she was allowed to stay any time. Now that she is with Brent should it be different? Yes, but how do I enforce it when Brent is so smitten with her? Annie at 12/01/2001 04:49:00 a.m.
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