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Peaces Of Me++++
++++ The miles just keep rollin as the people leave there way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go |
Oct 31/01 Caesar is so cute and he didn't even get us up in the night again. His paws are huge so if the saying is true he is going to be one enormous dog!!!!! He is sleeping so much that you almost forget to put him outside to train him. He is one laid back puppy! I tried to make a costume today, only had minimal sewing but I couldn't find the sewing machine pedal. April had Brittany over for lunch but I forgot about it and even ate one of the sandwiches that were for the kids because I ran out of bread. Monica dressed as a witch and April a Pirate. We ran out of Candy twice. Josh bought a huge massive pumpkin from one of his teachers and was going all out for Halloween to scare the kids but unfortunately he hurt his foot and couldn't participate at all. Brent had a party but James wouldn't allow them to drink during the week. He dressed up as Noah? Nadia and Stacy had homework all evening. Annie at 10/31/2001 04:17:00 p.m. I expected to be up with our new puppy all night. I even tip toed down in the night a few times but he slept quietly, so I was the one up all night by myself! I got up just before 6 and went down to check the puppy. Caesar had pooped in 2 places but had taken 2 pieces of newspaper and dragged them across the room and placed them over the mess. Smart doggie! The gate fell on our little pup in the morning when I was trying to get over it and he yelled with pain. Now he is terrified of the gate, he won't go anywhere near. Stacy stayed home in the afternoon to watch the pup because I had to drive the Volleyball team to the play-offs. I went to the boy's game for a bit to take some pictures. Caesar slept for most of the day and seemed very happy. Everyone wants to hold him but I won't let the kids sit with him on the couch because I don't want him to get used to being on it since he will be a big dog one day. They have to get right on the floor with him which is better and he loves their faces near him. It is really hard watching Chelsea with the puppy. She seems too rough with him and all the kids tried to take him away from her to protect him. I felt bad telling April to keep Chelsea away from him but that was the census from all of our family. Nadia, Brent, and Stacy are all out with their significant others and the phone was off the hook so Stacy couldn't get through to us so Jessie drove her home. My head is really hurting tonight Annie at 10/30/2001 04:27:00 p.m. The day dragged, seemed so long today, we are to pick up the puppy dog at 4pm. Everyone was so excited, Nadia didn't go to school because that is the time of her classes and April left volleyball practice early, only to get yelled at by her coach. She told April to get her priorities straight- yeah right. April had her priorities exactly where they should be, with her family doing what we have always dreamed of. We were all so wound up to be on our way to pick our dog out that suddenly Brent ecstatically blurted out "PUPPY". We all chanted "Puppy, puppy, puppy" as we drove to the kennel. There were 2 males to pick from and they placed one in Nadia's arms and one in Monica's arms. The little one shook the whole time, and was overwhelmed by the crowd of our kids so we knew right then we couldn't take a timid one with all our family so big. The bigger one just stared at us all right in our faces, wide eyed with his head tilted down. He let us turn him over on his back while he just stared at us. We passed him from each of our five kids, and the kids were all thrilled with his attitude. It was like "hey guys where have you been, I have been waiting for you to come and get me?" So we picked the biggest pup they had! We settled the bill and when we came out the kids had decided on Caesar for a name. We hadn't even considered Caesar before but the name was perfect! He was sound asleep, content in Brent's arms and Brent looked so thrilled! We found out why we got our dog ahead of schedule. The litter had been scheduled to be sent to American families, but the litter was born on September 11th, a sad day. There was so much security at the borders that everyone turned down the entire litter. Caesar just laid on our floor when we got home, he was exhausted. We put a clock in with his blankets so he wouldn't feel so alone. I went to bed early so that I can be with the pupy when he cries in the night. Annie at 10/29/2001 04:07:00 p.m. Today we spent the entire day cleaning up for the dog. He comes tomorrow! People are telling us to have a special place just for him so we have a crate to hold him in. He might have to find a place to escape because there are so many of us! Gramma came over for supper. We went to Jessie's hockey game. It is a great break from the cleaning and we are a little cheering group now, sitting together all the time. I really like Jessie's parents. James and I went to bed early, it seemed later because of the time change. We are iffy about naming the dog Cujo now. Some want Brutus, Bud and Chase. I can't wait for tomorrow! Annie at 10/28/2001 02:01:00 p.m. Crystal stayed over tonight. Nadia has really been complaining about Brent and Stacy and their significant others so I had to remind her that the only person who has been caught doing anything is Nadia. Apparently I am still on April's groupl email list! I wish I could get April to stop pouring her heart out on the Internet, she sent this as an addition to 2 e-mails to about 50 people and one was a chain letter! April Edwards ...Scott you broke my heart, but i'm back....READY FOR RYAN! I LIKE RYAN SOOOO MUCH! I'm gonna ask him out...but write now i'm too scared....HE'LL REJECT ME! (and i'm scared Kate will hurt him if he does!) WELL I DON'T NO WHAT ELSE TO SAY!!! Ryan if you see this... I WILL ASK YOU OUT IF YOU COME UP TO ME AND SAY..."I like you!" I AM KIDDA' MAD THAT YOU BLEW ME OFF ON THE BUT I'LL LIVE! Oh yea Ryan.....You owe me 8 kisses and you have to put your arm around me....YOU HAVE TO YOU OWE IT! I LOVE Ya ALL! LAUREN MISS YA LUV YA.... TALK TO YEA LATER! KATE THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP BYE! April sent this to so many people on a chain letter. She doesn't seem to understand that she shouldn't be doing this, only to her close friends. Stacy is really missing Jessie this weekend and won't go anywhere today with her friends. She is mooning over him. If she is that serious, then I hope he is too. I hate lop sided romances. He is at his dads and they don't even communicate at all when he is there. Derrick came over tonight at 10 and knocked on the door just like Gramma- her special knock. Everyone yelled "Gramma's here" and went to the door to find Derrick all smiles saying "It worked!" Vanessa ICQ message -Annie -I read in the paper that James's Dad passed away not too long ago........ Annie -Yes August 2 but he was so sick April, in 8 months he downhill fast, I couldn't see him lasting another day Vanessa -oh my God...soooo sad...I remember you telling me how fit and healthy a person he was Annie -It was weird, I got in a habit of visiting them everyday almost for the past 11 years and when he saw me he would crack open a beer with me. After he died James's mom told everyone how fond he was of some of his drinking buddies and then told everyone I was his favourite one. I never thought of it like that but when he was sick he would say, "open a beer for Annie". It took me a while to have a beer again after I heard that. I have to go- I have such a bad cold so I better go to bed. It's not the flu, we took the flu shots. We have been getting them for about 4 years now. We had an experiment one year, 4 of us got the flu shots, the others didn't and after that winter, of the ones who didn't get them, 2 got the flu so bad that we didn't have to talk them into it ever again. We all go now. It is the first night in years that all my kids did not go out on a Saturday, they are all home... well Brent is grounded so he had no choice! Annie at 10/27/2001 05:35:00 p.m. We received another call from school today reporting that Brent skipped yesterday. He went to homeroom and then left. He is really ticking us off. I watched the high school football adn took pictures for the yearbook. I couldn't believe my ears when I overheard Brent making a bet that he would run onto the football field and tackle the ball carrier. I willed him to look at me, so that my eyes would command him not to take the bet but he wouldn't return my stare. In the end he didn't but I can't believe that he would even consider it? Why do guys get all half cocked to try and show off to the other guys? Brent is normally a levelheaded guy and then I hear this. I guess I am not to hear these things,he didn't do it after all, but he was sure thinking about it. There were a lot of people watching the football, but it was so frigid cold that I left. My pictures aren't as good as the first ones. We have grounded Brent for the weekend. Brent says that Crystal is addicted to the Sims game that he gave her and plays it constantly so that is why he hasn't been seeing her as much as usual. Dan and Adam aren't getting along right now again, wonder what that is about? Dan told me that his mom wrote his dad a letter, which made him leave the family. What, I wonder, did she write that would make him leave? Annie at 10/26/2001 05:30:00 p.m. I had to pick up Stacy from co-op to picture retake. She was driving wild and crazy today almost hit Josh who was walking the curb! Figured out how to take movies with my camera. I took some sock movies that Stacy thought was hilarious. Nadia was downstairs messing about with Derrick behind the pool table this afternoon and I didn't like it a bit. Nadia has some amazing reasons for being in that predicament. Once she said that Derrick was so hot he had to take his pants off. Yeah right. Went man underwear shopping with Stacy. She went to the Sports Garden with Jessie and then to his house. Brent figured out a way to phone 2 people and get them talking to each other. They think the other person phoned and they both deny they phoned, it is funny to hear but it could be trouble! We have been having hours of fun trying to find names for our puppy. Everyone has a favourite, no one wants what the others picks. Some of the names were so funny, that we laughed until the tears came. April wants names that you would name cats. I don't think so! We were going through different names for dogs and out of the blue April says "I know, Let's call him Pussy. Here Pussy, do you want to pet my pussy?" I guess we shouldn't have laughed but we were taking off gaurd we coulndt even catch our breath. Brent has been out with the guys 2 days in a row. I wonder if he and Crystal are OK. Annie at 10/25/2001 05:55:00 p.m. I drove April's team to volleyball and they played very well! Stacy and Amy came for a couple games and then I drove them to Amy's. I think this is the first time Stacy has not come home after school or for supper! Stacy is a lot better and was actually talking and laughing- so nice to see. My baby took my advice and luckily didn't get suspended from school because of it. Monica got into a fight with the most popular guy in school about her boobs. Of all the guys I never thought it would be Cody but he is only human and he is learning how to grow up too, I don't hold it against him at all. Monica grabbed the back of his neck, forced him to the ground, and hurt him. While she shoved his face into the gravel she said that if he did it again she would tell the principal. You go girl!!! Annie at 10/24/2001 04:44:00 p.m. Stacy was sick again today. It was the regional final for cross-country and it was windy and rainy but Monica was lucky because the rain really started hard after her race. She came 23rd out of 106. Holly came 5th! I was standing there at cross country with a woman who recognized Monica's name and said that the coach was picking his Rep team this week for baseball and they really wanted Monica so if we were interested now would be the time. I know she should be in rep, I wish we could. I am so surprised by all the different people in rep on that team who have come up and mentioned how much they all want Monica. The coach is obviously talking about Monica a lot. Even people on the select team have told us how much he wants Monica . Monica is coming down sick too. I took Stacy to Mark's and he gave her antibiotics. I took it to the pharmacy and they took 40 minutes and said they still were not done so I went to to another pharmacy who might appreciate my business a little more. Nadia and Brent both have not showed up home and it is 10:25. Tsk tsk. I wrote a letter to April about the poem she wrote to me and sent a copy to Stacy and Nadia. Stacy didn't like this paragraph so I am going to try and change it. This is the old version she doesn't like Now he verbalized, so what. Most people would enjoy the person being appreciative. Nice word eh? Ooze. When you think of that word it is usually associated with mud or slime. Who would want to swallow with descriptive words like that? The person who wrote this is gross and is trying to gross you out. If it were like that people wouldn't be doing it. This whole idea of what to do at this point again is a personal choice. You could swallow it every time or just sometimes, depending on how excited you are at having oral sex, if you want, or put your hand over the head of his penis or a combination of mouth and hand but lets think about this again. If you are doing this to him, is he not doing oral sex on you too? And just what is he doing? He tastes you too! Whatever you think you can taste from him. Guess what? He can say the same thing about you. OMG I can't believe I am even doing this but I have to use shock value to April right now before she thinks that it is all right to do at her age. I hope I didn't scare my older girls but I want everything out in the open and we should be able to talk about anything regarding sex. Annie at 10/23/2001 05:52:00 p.m. ICQ From Vanessa Hi there. I still prefer to use hotmail.....don't like the way the e-mails show up on yahoo…too small of a page, but I still check my yahoo account from time to time. How have you been lately? I'm still pluggin' away at work, it's getting a bit easier. We've had a rough week, Ralph is like a poor old lost soul, I really feel for him! but, as the saying goes, time is the healer. Annie -It has taken James quite a while to come to terms with his dad's death. First trying to understand when the Drs. told us he was dying- when he felt perfectly fine, the chemo, which I wish they never did (I mean when they say it is inoperable and terminal I would like my last days to be half decent) and then life without him. It has just been this weekend that he has put himself to work around the house and sometimes I have to tell the kids to basically tip toe around him because he is not totally himself yet. His dad was like his best friend- so we really feel for Ralph right now. I have been having quite the time with my son Brent, he is trying to come and go as he pleases and we have had to give him an ultimatum. Move out, quit school and pay board or do what is expected of you (which really is not alot) go to school and come home at night. He has a girlfriend that is older than him and she has been a foster care kid for her whole life I think so any adult supervision has been from me and it is really hard when it is coming from only one side. She is a lovely girl, no question, but I don't want him to lose perspective on what is really important now. He is so smart and he either isn't going to school or not doing his work. All his teachers are saying "what a shame" and "what a waste". Nadia and Stacy are still involved in their relationships and are doing well. Nadia just found out that she will be involved in The Hockey Hall of Fame Inductee Ceremony night so she is thrilled to be part of it. To hob nob with all the greats is more than she dreamed but if she asks for even one autograph, she is out of there! Stacy was home today and very sick. She has been sleeping for most of the day (Gravol) because she feels sick to her stomach, fever and headache and she fainted in the hall- she is lucky she didn't hurt herself. Monica is getting sick too. The boys are really bothering Monica about her boobs and she comes home from lunch saying, "I'm going to drop someone, I'm going to beat them up." I told her that if she has to do it try to get the biggest most popular guy because if not the boy will get teased about Monica beating him up. If it is a popular guy, they can handle it. James can't believe that I gave her permission to beat someone up but she has to defend herself. Me, the peacekeeper, James the fighter, a complete role reversal! Annie at 10/22/2001 05:49:00 p.m. ICQ message April, we are going to Gramma's house because we have so much laundry. Her laundry stuff is twice the size and we will have our's going too. If you need me just call...Anyone, can you hear me, can you help me???? I hate laundry!!! bye Annie at 10/21/2001 04:00:00 p.m. Monica had her first game for soccer this morning and didn't have any shin pads so we had to get buy a pair from an acquaintance of Stacy's who told me what a great person she is. That is always nice to hear! We found a really good deal at Sports Check for running shoes for Monica so hopefully she won't walk on the heels anymore. Oh my computer is being really slow and stupid and James's computer says that the hard drive is completely full 20 g hard drive- something is really wrong. James spent most of the day cleaning out the garage and then fixed the fence at the side. Brent worked until 4am, but he never came home. I just phoned him at Adam's so it will be interesting hearing about his first night working in a bar.- when he gets home. I just hope he doesn't get in any fights, it is so easy to in a bar. We were on our way to East Side Mario's when Nadia remembered that Derrick was cutting at working at another restaurant. The food was good but there was a table full of brats who were crawling under tables and running all over the place- even eating off of old plates. Stacy worked from 2 till 7 and then went to dog sit at Jessie's. She said the dog is so sad and misserable that he won't eat. Dogs are so loyal to their masters. Annie at 10/20/2001 05:38:00 p.m. I spent so much time in the car today it was ridiculous. Monica finished 6th at the area finals for cross country, which means she moves on to the finals. Holly was 3rd and unfortunately teased Monica about it. Monica never teased when she placed before Holly last year in every race. I hope that kind of stuff ends real soon because there friendship will suffer. James is home from Ottawa...Yippee! Brent started his new job at the new nightclub in town; he works until 4am as a bus boy. I thought that you would have to be at least drinking age to work there but no. When we expressed our concern he reminded us that James used to be a bouncer at a bar when he was younger. OK, somehow it feels different when it is your own son though. Nadia went to see Serendipity with Derrick. April and Monica separately went to the teen dance. Stacy went to work, then Emma,s party and then is staying over at Jessie's dog-sitting with Amy while Jessie is out of town for the weekend in a hockey tournament with his parents. Her first sleep over at a guys house!! HeHe, the guy isn't even there!! Email to Nadia Dads hard drive says it is full so I am trying to delete things. I found this on here so I thought I would give you a copy because it is being taken off here. You probably have already saved this but I was just making sure because it is soooo sweet. Can I copy it to my diary? When I'm talking to Derrick, hell when I'm thinking about Derrick...my heart beat gets a little faster, my mouth gets dry, I get excited and nervous at the same time, and you have no idea how much that feeling kicks ass. Right now, just writing about him in this email, my heart is pounding like crazy, and I can't figure out why, and for that matter, I don't really care why. The only other guy who I felt anything close to that feeling for was Simkins, but that lasted all of like a week at most. The rest of the time I liked him was basically wanting that feeling to come back. I know that's strange, and I know it doesn’t make sense, but when do I ever make sense? With Derrick, I felt like that from the first time I met him, and it's been like almost a year and I still do. I have NEVER liked a guy this much this long. And I get so mad at him because I'm so damn frustrated with myself. The truth is I really don't think he likes me, and I don't think I have any chance with him. But that doesn’t seem to matter. So anyways, there may have been more I wanted to say, but, well to give you an idea how hard this was for me to write, I started writing it at 1:30am (I do my best thinking at night...heh), it is now 2:40am, and this isn't even a long email. So I'm like falling asleep, and in desperate need of some water (damn dry mouth). So now you sort of understand, hopefully...if this email was at all coherent...Like I said, Jeff is a really nice guy and everything, he's got a lot going for him and I honestly tried to get over Derrickand try to like Jeff...but nothing's there. I think I'll get a drink and go to sleep now, seeing that it's 2:47am and all...Tell me if you understand what the hell I'm talking about K? I'll talk to you later. Annie at 10/19/2001 05:41:00 p.m. Spent the whole day cleaning and doing laundry…laundry...the bain of my esistance... eeuuuuck! I had so much I had to use Gramma’s washer too. Monica told Sam that unless she wanted to be known as flatty she should stop talking about her boobs. Sam agreed that she wouldn’t mention them again. Lets keep our fingers crossed. Interview day at high school. When I went to introduce myself to the teachers I got 2 reactions, Stacy a nice smiling "oh hi", Brent the furrowed brow "oh Brent". He really needs to smarten up. Stacy got 100% in history. James phoned and he is still sick. I’m getting worried about him. It must be awful to be away from home and sick when all you want is your bed and mommy. Stacy had Jessie over in her room (Nadia was upset that Stacy shut her door) and then went to Jessie's to have supper and learn how to take care of the dog Taz. Nadia and Derrick watched a movie in her room and Brent went out with Crystal. I went to sleep early because I have had a headache all day. Brent went to the dentist for the same tooth he had the root canal on last year. Annie at 10/18/2001 05:20:00 p.m. Mom came over today with a trifle, It was yummy, her specialty. I told Brent and Nadia that they had to help clean or I would interfere with their relationships with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Crystal came to the door and Brent was going to go out but I said he had to clean before he went out. He told me to "Piss off" and Crystal took off real fast. It is not like him to talk to me that way and I don't think she liked it at all. I have a call in to her to tell her that Brent doesn't usually talk to me that way and I want her to know that. Monica came home from school very upset, the girl Sam won't stop talking about Monica's "big boobs" and she does it in from of the boys, which really bothers Monica. April went up to her and said that she must be a lesbian if she is that preoccupied with Monica's boobs. I told her to try and talk to the girl tomorrow but if that doesn't work that I will talk to the Principal. I also told her that her boobs are no really big and that she won't end up having the biggest boobs- it is just that she was the first one to have them grow in her grade. Annie at 10/17/2001 05:13:00 p.m. James had car problems on the way to Ottawa. His gas gauge isn't working and he ran out of gas. Went to the mall with Stacy. I couldn't believe what Stacy did today. She actually teased me about me having sex last night. She kept looking at me smiling all day and saying "Squeak. Squeak" We went to Jessie's hockey game and he played very well. Every now and then she would turn to me and whisper "Squeak!" I want a new bed! Annie at 10/16/2001 05:57:00 p.m. Went shopping with Nadia. Full circle for the affection Nadia shows me in public. Just a few short years ago our hands happen to collide in the mall and she bolted so fast that I couldn't believe how much she didn't want to be with me there. Now it is her that puts her arm into mine. I never expected the transistion to take place when she still is a teenager but hey...I sure will learn to accept it! Got a virus scan. I did have a virus. It was on msn messenger under April. They snuck it on my computer again, and they are not allowed. I don't know why, maybe it is because our computers are networked but every time msn is on our computers mess up. The mice are really bad and are driving me crazy. It feels so dirty, even to have mousetraps, I hate them. We never had trouble with mice in the house at our old house. ICQ from Vanessa--Hi Annie!!!! have some sad news to tell you, Ralph's dad passed away today. He went in for knee surgery on Thurs. and pulled thru that just great. Sat. nite he suffered a massive heart attack. his kids were at his side when he went,,,sooo sad!!!!!!! I'm just waiting for Ralph to get home sometime soon, I just hope that I can offer him some comfort,,,I feel it so hard to know what to say to people at these times! Annie at 10/15/2001 05:07:00 p.m. We took Gramma out to the Keg tonight. James and I cleaned out the workroom but there is so much stuff in there it feels hopeless. It is hard to throw things out. I came across some old dishes and an old memory made my jaw clench. I didn't really want to remember it at all now and to think I kept them on purpose so that I would remember. My first husband went through all my possessions and made me throw away any letters or mementos from my past. Months later I came across his letters and I found out that our dishes were from his old love. It really burned me that my letters were thrown out when he kept his. The dishes have always been a constant reminder of how I let someone else try to run my life. It is time to let go of the reminder. April spent the day at her baby-sitting job getting to know the baby. I really don't like this arrangement, I feel like the lady is using the April and Chelsea. They were there all day. Stacy is at Jessie's hockey game. Brent and Crystal are downstairs. She came on her period. Yeah!!! It must feel weird for her to know that we know about what happened and to be able to talk to us about it. Annie at 10/14/2001 05:00:00 p.m. ICQ Stacy at Jessie's Jessie - hi mommy, It's Stacy! Annie - hi what are you up to? Jessie - nothing Annie - we almost have the work room clean and the TV works in your room Jessie - can you drive us to the movies? Jessie - and back too?? Annie - when Jessie - it starts at 7:15... and we'll call when it's done Jessie - PLEASE Annie - we are suppose to go to John and Oylivia's for his 40th at 7. Do you want to go earlier? Jessie - sure Annie - how will you get back Jessie - you Annie - hmmmmmm Jessie - please Annie - can you let me think about it. i got to go for a while ok- phone me Jessie - ok Jessie - bye mommy Yes I picked her up. We started to clean up the workroom today, what a huge project. We had a surprising phone call. All of a sudden there is a dog available for us but the dog will be here in about 2 weeks instead of December. We have a lot of dog proofing to do to make our house safe for him! Oylivia had a 40th birthday party for John, he got a pie in the face while I was sitting right beside him. People are telling me that Jamie and Colleen are having marital problems. I just thought that they had a difference of opinion about raising children and that they were each doing their own thing in that regard. Jamie doesn't like the regiment of sports- if the kids say that they don't want to go they shouldn't have to but Colleen believes in commitment. He thinks it interferes with the family life. She thinks it interferes with his beer drinking time. Therefore anything that has to do with sport, Colleen handles it. You can tell where I got the information from can't you? She complains about him all the time. He never puts her down, ever. People tell me that they are big potheads. I know Jamie smokes because Colleen told me that he wanted to be open about having pot around the house with his kids and she wanted me to know in case Monica was exposed. I told her at the time that I didn't want Monica in that situation because number one, its illegal and I don't want her thinking its ok- which I don't think it is. Number 2, give her time to form an opinion as to what she wants to do with her body. She is an athlete already so I don't think that she would do it, but it is something she doesn't have to think about until she is a teenager. I drove Stacy and Jessie to and from a movie-Joy Ride. He will drive her home himself for the first time from his place! April spent the day where she will be baby-sitting with Chelsea I don't really like the idea of them splitting the baby-sitting job. I would rather them be there individually because Chelsea is bossy but April has common sense with kids. I really wanted them to spend less time together but this is putting them together even more. Annie at 10/13/2001 05:59:00 p.m. James had his colonoscopy today and it took so long I started to think something was wrong. Monica is at a sleep over with a girl named Allie that she met at Basketball. April has Chelsea over tonight. April shares the baby-sitting job with her. I don't think that is a good idea at all. I wonder if she is going to split the money between then, if so it is a rip off. She wants them to come over on weekends to get to know the baby and what is expected of them. Brent hasn't come home yet or Nadia. Apparently Stacy has a 90% on her report card but again, I haven't seen it. Email from Rose Hi Annie Johnny is so pleased with the picture he has sent it to all his buddy down south to tell them how good looking he is. Now he wants to sent it to all the kids now. Maybe he can use it as a screen saver. Where did you get it and when was it taken. Rose Annie at 10/12/2001 05:11:00 p.m. Derrick found the 2 songs I have been trying for -Strike 2 and Hero for me! It was nice that he was thoughtful enough to find them for me! James is on a liquid diet and has to take the diarrhoea stuff so he is house bound today. April had volleyball again and her coach was horrible. She reffed the game and wouldn't give our team points as discipline and made them do burpies if they missed a ball. April got at least 11 serves over in a row and she still made her do them when she missed the 12th. When she made Chelsea do them the ball was in play and she missed it. Unbelievable! She is humiliating the girls when they are doing well. April was talking back to her piano teacher today. She does that when she gets frustrated and I think that the volleyball made her that way. She has to learn to control her frustration though. Nadia was out with Derrick and he brought his cute dog over who unfortunately piddles when he gets excited. Brent didn't come home from Crystal's till after 1am. Stacy went to Melissa's with Amy. Annie at 10/11/2001 05:37:00 p.m. ICQ message Vanessa -April Good morning Annie! Back to what you wrote yesterday, our friend goes to that College also, and she told us about that bomb scare too. I didn't realize that you were so close to the nuclear plants, didn't know there were 2 of them either! That is very scary wondering if they may be a target, that was the first thing Ralph said about potential targets, well, we'd be doomed too! Sometimes I get paranoid about just walking down the street. I'm more aware of planes and jets above us now,,,we have a flight path right overhead of us too. And what about biological warfare? That one is awfully scary. My water smelt funny yesterday and the first thing that came to mind was some poison chemical in the water! Nessy was asking about the war last night, and I was honest with her and told her that there was the possibility that we may be somewhat involved, any question she asked me I did my best to answer her, like will we be bombed and have fighting here? I told her I did not know that now, but it could really happen. She still cries for all the lives lost in the terrorist attacks, she is a very sensitive girl. I find that I'm hugging and kissing my kids and Ralph more than usual, and don't like them to go too far from home, it is all such an uneasy feeling isn't it? Annie - It is. I have an Internet friend who lives in Egypt and it is really uncomfortable to talk to him about it. I have an awkward feeling about my him, I think that the friendship is in trouble. When I am on the internet and seeing his name flash I feel guilty going onto invisible, but then he immediately goes off my online list too so maybe he feels leery about me too. I am not comfortable talking to him right now. Maybe it is his misuse of the English language that he doesn't seem genuinely sorry about Sept 11 but I never noticed a problem with his broken English in getting his feelings across before. We come from such different cultures that maybe his loyalties lie close to the country with the most similar beliefs and my sympathy lies with my American cousins. That is the way I have always thought of the people south of our boarder. When they hurt, we hurt. I feel guilty even thinking this way about him. You know when someone searches out people and when it is from that area in the world it is usually guys who want to know abut sex and that is it. I developed a friendship with him over months and we exchanged thoughts on our own society and the differences were blatant and very interesting. We talked about dating, schooling, and one day we briefly touched on the sex part. He is the first person that I actually put down in print of what happened to me when I was 15. I didn't go into the fine points, kind of painted the details as if I was using water colours. Somewhat blurry, kind of like the ink blots they showed to me when they thought I needed therapy right after it happened- even though they didn't know about it. You could look at those sketches and I would immediately see a guy manhandling a girl but I wasn't going to tell them what I thought so I knew that if I said it was a mother and daughter and talk about issues of teens fighting with parents, that I could get away without them understanding me at all. Anyway I am getting off topic- I don't know if I even want to talk to him again. It is a shame. He sounds sympathetic but every now and then he says things that make me question exactly how he really feels. Like when that Russian plane went down last week and I asked him what he think happened.... and it felt cold and distant that we were not on the same wavelength at all. It is confusing and it might only be confusing because of the language barrier but unfortunately everyone is now a little paranoid, don't you think? --- Monica woke me up at all times last night. She was doing her homework on the computer beside me at 4:30 a.m. She got it all done but I was so tired all day. She is trying to do too much, doesn't have enough hours in the day and she has to get organized. Monica came 25th at Pringle x-country- disappointment for her. Then came basketball she must be so tired. April had her first Volleyball tourney where they won 3/6. Stacy and Amy and I went to Jessie's first house league hockey game. It was nice to see a different sport for a change. Nadia studied all day at school. Email from Cindy I have talked to both Chris and Michael and neither one of them is really interested in the band thing. Michael plays in a band in his spare time, and both are much too busy at work. My Michael also plays bass now. (Following in his Uncle's footsteps). He is in a band too. They are playing downtown T.O. on Oct. 27th in some "battle of the bands" thing. (Michael's taste in music doesn't seem to fit his character). It is Wed. night, Jake is doing homework, Michael is working, Julia is at dance, Dan is at school, and I am trying to catch up on paying some bills, etc. How are things with Brent? Any better? Talk to you soon Annie at 10/10/2001 05:31:00 p.m. Crystal came over this morning and made up a resume here. She is trying for a job at Future Shop. She sure has volunteered a lot, which is great for a resume. Jessie got his driver license today! And Stacy wants to drive everywhere! She got out of work early and walked home in the dark which I don't want her to do but she was mad at us until she realized that she was early and then laughed at herself. She has been in such a good mood lately, a real pleasure to be around, energetic, funny, always cuddling and so happy. I guess Jessie and her are very good for each other. Nadia has been doing a project so I have seen little of her. Monica started to do her homework late- Nadia told me she has been starting it after we go to bed so we are going to get her out of that real quick. When we made her go to bed she just melted right down. Mondays are really bad for her because she just has so many activities she has to learn to fit it all in. It would have been my dad's 75th birthday today. Looks like April will be getting that baby-sitting job for the 9-month-old. The school recommended her for babysitting a baby! They have interviewed a lot of kids but she says she likes April the best. April M - hello! How are you today? Didn't go to work today as Nessy is home sick with a bad cold. Ralph has gone to the city for a welding course, don't when he'll be home tonite. What do you think of this mess the world is in right now? Do you think we'll go to war also? It absolutely petrifies me that we could be bombed here,,,do you think there's that possibility? How do your kids react to all of this? Annie - Yes that Sept 11 is truly a horror. Nadia is doing a project on it and for the first time ever the kids are realizing that they might have to go to war- them, our children. It is terrifying. In the first days of it my kids were watching TV and a American station was talking about more targets that the terrorist might hit. They said the two power plants that we live inbetween would be a big target! We thought thanks alot buddy, we live right in between them! On the day it happened there was a bomb threat at the College, where Nadia is and she said it was crazy there. I decided to pull my other kids out of school because I didn't want them hearing about the College too and worrying even more about thier family Annie at 10/09/2001 05:03:00 p.m. Today I finally got down and dirty and did some work in my garden. I split about 15 hostas and a peony and planted the hostas at Gramma's house. James got rid of the stumps near the pool. We had to take some posters off the wall in the basement because the pop fight just ruined them- what a shame! Mom came over for roast beast supper. She was trying ot pick fights, bringing up the video that I made for her last year and grandpa's funeral. She seems to think that I purposely found the worst pictures of her and put them in my video. What she doesn't know is that I did alter some pictures. I filled in where she was missing a tooth and shaved about 20 pounds off her bum. Then she tried to blame me for not going back to Dianne's after the funeral. Nadia and I wouldn't let her get away with that one. She drove me to drink! Brent went to Crystal's moms for supper, apparently a rare event. He said it was a very weird experience, Crystal doesn't look like her mom at all. The boyfriend was overbearing and loaded up their plates so that Brent felt protective over Crystal and put his plate above hers so he wouldn't give Crystal more. He had a lot of chickpeas and I don't even think he likes them. Derrick popped in after work and Stacy and Jessie went out for the day to with his parents at the Sports Garden and back here for TV. Annie at 10/08/2001 05:53:00 p.m. Everyone went to Gramma's for Thanksgiving! There were almost fourty of us when you count the girlfriends and boyfriends. It was so much fun, the kids mix well with the adults and for the first time ever that all the food was gone. Other years, the kids didn't eat too much, but not this time! Gramdpa was missed when we said grace; Mike was placed in grandpa's spot. I couldn't believe the behaviour of some of the older kids downstairs. They had a pop fight and they shook the cans all over the walls and furniture and left it all for Gramma to clean up. I can understand the pop fight, even though it is not quite appropriate, but at least clean up after yourselves. Annie at 10/07/2001 04:48:00 p.m. Monica came home from the party around 5pm in a zoombie state of mind, could hardly keep awake- she only had 1 hour sleep. We went to the Sports Gardens tonight to watch the Leafs Hockey with Mark and Carrie and their kids. April insisted on came homing early because Natasha was saying mean things to her. She was talking about April's complexion, which only recently erupted, normally she is very clear skinned. April always acts so tough so most people would think she could handle herself in this situation, but her toughness is all on the surface. Carrie really blasted her daughter after we told her about it and she phoned April and apologized. Nadia is having a party. Brent was at the party but I guess when there were no guys there he felt uncomfortable and he and Crystal left. Nadia is very put off with Crystal these days. Something else has to be going on with them that I don't know about because she shouldn't be that upset that Brent is going out with her. Stacy is at Jessie's for the evening. I am feeling a strange loneliness today. It is Thanksgiving weekend and there are people all about me as usual so why do I feel lonely when I am surrounded by people? I don't wish for a Thanksgiving like last year... watching my Nadia and Stacy in pain over guys, who needs that? I guess I am thinking of Thanksgiving's gone by. Thanksgiving, as a child, used to mean painfully boring meals at home with my parents childless friends. You couldn't even breathe at the table the wrong way without getting 'the looks'. Anything not made or presented properly was usually blamed on me...mom's attempts at cooking...you would rather lick a razor than taste her food. Dad was the main cook. Then my parent's bought a cottage, mom now says, to get me away from my oasis of life - Port. Port is the little town I loved so much in my teens. I grew up there. Probably the best Thanksgiving for me... I had so much to be thankful for, was the time I spent with a very special someone, he changed the way I thought of myself and guys...well maybe not guys in general, just that there was a very special one out there. I will never forget. I wonder what this weekend means to him? I wonder if his life is wonderful? I hope so. What is he doing right this minute? After that Thanksgiving's were enjoyed at out cottage, the last time up there before snowfall, so we closed down the cottage. But it was fun being up there with family. Until my first husband (do I have to call him that?) came along and then I lonesomely retreated to myself, to learn who I was. But over the years the cottage was great place to be at Thanksgiving. These last years with family it has been Thanksgiving with the in-laws, usually up to 45 people all together. All hussle and bustle, lots of fun and energy. But this is the first Thanksgiving with out James's dad, Chuck. It will be hard and I wonder who will sit in his place at the head of the table? I guess that I am feeling this way because Thanksgiving has to be different now that Chuck is gone. Annie at 10/06/2001 05:38:00 p.m. It has been pouring all day. Stacy started to teach her workout programs at the rec today. She was so nervous but she really enjoyed it and looks forward to doing others. She took a roll of toilet paper with her and asked each kid to take some off the roll. They had to count each square and tell one thing about themselves for each square they took. The kids had fun with that. Nadia had Derrick over, he was very shook up. He lost control of his car on Halls road getting here. Went to visit Dave and Marita and Gramma came over. April went to the teen dance wanting me to drive to group of girls. I always drive and this time I wanted just one other parent to take a turn. April complained that I never drive her- just the other kids- yeah right. But I held my ground and said no, I had already driven too much. Bought 2 vcr's tonight. Monica is at Sheena's, a baseball friend, for a sleepover party. Annie at 10/05/2001 05:12:00 p.m. Brent didn't go to school today and he came home at 1:30. I am wondering what kind of influence Crystal has on him because I dont think she is going to any classes at College. I wish I knew what to do with him. He spent the day on my computer but he has projects due and right now I don't even know if he is home. Monica came in 5th or something and was so disappointed. She doesn't realize that she can't compete at the high level she was last year because she doesn't work out regularly. I think she is doing fantastic. April helped out too. Stacy couldn't rabbit because of her knee. Brent gave me a new hard drive & I can't find anything on it. It took me 1/2 hr to get icq working. Brent is supposed to be doing 2 projects but he is too quiet so I think he snuck out again. I tell you, it is pretty hard when there is no parents on Crystal's side telling them what time to pack it in and he is very close to being kicked out here. Out of the last 7 nights he has come home lets see 7am, 5am, 3, not at all... We don't know what to do. Yeah, it's been a tough week here but this has to change because he didn't even go to school 3 days last week. We have told him he can do one of 3 things 1 get out 2 quit school and pay rent 3 Stay in school This might not be nice to say but right now he is thinking with the wrong head. Hopefully he will straighten up real fast because the head of guidance, I forget her name, wants him out of school. She has never really liked him. She phones me, in the last 2 years, makes me come in, get all of his teachers down and sometimes even tries to get me to tell who his friends are but I'm not telling. They can get themselves in trouble. The weird part about the whole thing is he really is smart, but he is just really bored. He has till 12, and then I should hunt him down. Annie at 10/04/2001 05:30:00 p.m. We bought a 40gb hard drive for me so I can make my videos. Every time we buy a hard drive they always say that we will never need that much space but then the next time we need one there is always something 2 times bigger! Email from April SORRY MOM! I didn't mean to send you that chain letter! I REALLY DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS!!! well talk to ya later bye mommy! April So now she knows that I know and now I have to address the poem. What in the world am I going to say? I guess I am going to have to go over the poem line by line and either explain what it means and offer (or inflict) my point of view. I mentioned to Mark that I knew about Brent and Crystal and he said that they were being responsible but he didn't have the heart to say, that it is called the morning after pill because you take it the next morning, not right away, but he was happy to see that Brent could come to him. He was also glad to see that Brent told his parents. In that regard, I am proud. Annie at 10/03/2001 04:56:00 p.m. Brent came home around 1:30am with more excuses. He is with Crystal all the time now. James is still sick but he won't go to the doctors. He is just lying in bed and holding his stomach. Monica ran cross country today and came 6th, Holly came 2nd. Too bad they don't have a team. Colleen and a woman had a huge fight about an elbow and Colleen touching the other kid. I hope it gets smoothed over quick. Gabby was there and she was trying to set Monica up with 2 guys but Monica wanted no part of it. She said that she likes playing with guys because they are good at sports but she doesn't want to even think about them "that" way! I miss Nadia. She goes out a lot with Derrick or has Derrick over so it is a big difference from most of her teen years. She was more like a buddy to me then but it is nice to see her so happy. We talked late tonight. Annie at 10/02/2001 05:48:00 p.m. Brent was out with Crystal and never came home AGAIN last night, he phoned at 12.50 to say that he would be home later. I don't know what to do with him. I told him that his excuse better be pretty good because I have had enough. When Brent came home he told us that he couldn't come home because the condom broke when they were having sex and they went to Mark's during the night to get the morning after pill. YES that got my attention! I am glad that he told us and his reaction was mature or at least he was trying to dot he right thing. Man, his honesty can really throw me for a loop sometimes. Well now I know where they are in there relationship! Crystal's stomach is upset today and I guess it was a big scare for them. Nadia and Derrick hunted down a mouse in the basement, it was funny, and they were so excited and Derrick kind of freaked out a bit. Apparently a lot of people in our neighbourhood have them at this time of year. That is too bad because I thought we were the only ones and we were just special! April lost her baby-sitting job because the woman lost her job so they have to move. Just as well because I would want her to play after school sports. Stacy had her first day of work at the rec center! She took a roll of toilet paper and for every square that each kid took, they had to say something about themselves. She says it was a great way for people to get comfortable with themselves. Josh's 16th birthday. James is still SICK. I drove Brent to Crystal's place and I was to pick him up at 12 am, he said they would be waiting outside for me - they weren't. I was there 10 minutes early and finally left at 12:17. What am I going to do with them? I was really upset and Nadia gave me a much needed hug when I got home. Annie at 10/01/2001 05:36:00 p.m.
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